Unsure if wide awake because of jet lag or drinking coke too late

Mad we drew, amused Alan Shearer has to do a positive analysis of Sunderland.

Gary O’Neil sounds like a right nuisance. Always pestering other teams, calling them, asking to shadow managers, offering opinions.

Marc Guiu just smooshed his whole face into the chalk of the goal line and it’s still all over his face.

The Wolves interim manager is *tiny*

They were very good. We didn’t lose. It’s fine, it won’t mean shit come May whatever happens.

This is Not Fun

Leandroooooooooooooooo

Look I’m sorry OK?

I do feel that in the year of our lord 2025 we’ve progressed beyond the need for Paul Merson’s punditry.

Rob Edwards back in the Prem is it?

Why does De Ligt sound Irish

Funny

Just discovered that the company that makes my favourite advent calendar has gone bust 😟

Watford have a player called Louza which seems suboptimal

Arsenal being drawn by us is just never a good idea Please accept our apologies and also if you feel like making a questionable life choice then please go to our shop and do something foolish 🛒 NoScoreDraws.com

🙂

And in an exchange of info I’m currently watching the documentary about Bundy on Prime where they talk to his girlfriend and her daughter and many of the women involved in various ways in the case and that too is fucking great.

succubus - female demon that seduces men incubus - male demon that seduces women vengabus - non-binary demon that likes to party

How did I not know Margaret Qualley is Andie McDowell’s daughter and why, now I do, is it SO obvious???

God it’s good to use a proper strength and temperature hairdryer plugged into a proper plus socket.

In case anyone thought otherwise, for the avoidance of doubt, I’m pro facial hair being de rigeur

s-bahn posters will write good alt text for train maps, engage/riff about transit in the replies, and boost good content about trains

Correspondence from a Chelsea fan about Mamdani 🥰

Posts I’d have sent if I’d had WiFi on the flight. Two notes: there actually is an M&S Food in T5 so well done Heathrow. Proof of concept re. selfie game attached. Actually three notes: don’t come at me about the towns/cities, you know I’m right.

Cockfosters 🤭

Update on this. It was an extremely well behaved silver tabby who had to be taken out of its carrier so the carrier could be x-rayed and was going from Mexico City to MUNICH. I gave it a scritch 🥰

Not even joking, this is what shuffle decided to play (from my uni reunion playlist, I’m not in the habit of listening to Westlife) as we took off 😒

Girl in the security queue in front of me is taking a cat on her flight 🥺

Extremely normie cab driver currently playing Chop Suey

Saying “I’ve mistakenly freed a prisoner” every time I fart inappropriately.

Just saw a guy wearing a collar that said “nervoso” 😭

Me: cannot wait to go home Also me: where next? Colombia? Thailand? Uzbekistan? (all genuine contenders)

Me

good morning specifically to the FBI agent who introduced Mamdani’s dad to Marx

A 34-year-old as a politician: My god he's like a baby. It's like they just elected an infant to be their mayor. A 34-year-old as an athlete: You have to admire the bravery of him attempting that dunk, knowing full well the grim reaper is right behind him.

Remind me who you stood against in last year’s election you ghoul lol

Every Brit posting about Mamdani

Me

Eating pills for dinner, pharm to table.

BREAKING: Zohran Mamdani wins the New York City mayoral race, NBC News projects. nbcnews.to/4nIzNUC

Watching the Mamdani victory like

I’m sorry but I cannot see Curtis Sliwa’s name without thinking of JoJo Siwa. I’m sure I’m by far not the only person struggling with this.

here is a mockup

Currently doing one of my favourite final holiday day tasks: the Ocado order.