There's a world where the Courteeners are at Number 10. Of alltime. Where I'm still Standing is the only Elton John song of note. Where Sam Fender is revered but T Rex is ignored. Where immigration neverr happened. charts.radiox.co.uk/best-of-brit...

It appears as if 0.3% of the people I follow were at the Pet Shop Boys concert this evening and had a great time of it. I'm not jealous. I just seethe naturally at rest.

I bought one testosterone testing kit, once, for a feature (yet to be published). Ever since then, this is my home page every time I visit Amazon:

He ended with a defiant statement to the Iranians, "you may try to hurt us, but there is nothing you can do to us that is worse than what we will do to ourselves Burn us out? You should see Barry after the beach. Obliterated? Wait til I roll out of Shooters. Airstrikes? Mate, I flew in on RYANAIR!"

Well that was a thunderbastard of a goal for Chelsea Women to make it 2-1 #TheFootball

Big. Bad. Word.

Oh for flip's sake #TheFootball In fairness that was a terrible cross delivery but a near perfect shot, so I'll give that to Tottenham.

One thing I've learned from the Chelsea Women v Tottenham FA cup match is that Channel 4 has adverts for some absolutely terrible looking programs.

She's alive!

This description of "gated 'communities'" is a very odd case of America Brain from a Briton surely?

There's someone in the replies arguing that this is bad if they build the wrong sort of housing on these golf courses and mate, just take a day off from being an utter wanker for just one day.

I got two cups of tea AND a biscuit at my MP's coffee morning.

I love how all of you have left your tax return to the last minute. I did mine over a year ago.

Speak for yourself Coates.

It was on this day 92 years ago that W. B. Yeats got ‘Steinached’ — a partial vasectomy, carried out by Austrian endocrinologist Eugen Steinach to reinvigorate the 69-year-old poet... 🧵

So, that’s half a century, then.

Imagine cheap and easy it will be to fix this lovely building up www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/1...

Try it. It could be your lucky day in hell.

Happy 6th anniversary to the time this happened over on the other place.

Having stepped on the scales this morning I will not be partaking of the great Easter egg sell-off at my local supermarket when it opens ☹️

Posting this to slame poor spelling.

Reminded of the existence of this. player.bfi.org.uk/free/film/wa...

Fun fact, meanwhile: I think the actor who played Herr Flick still does the occasional editing shift for the FT, in special reports. I once had the pleasure of telling him Croatia’s most sinister political operative in the Tudjman era was nicknamed “Herr Flick”.

Artemis II crew returning to Earth.

“Everyone from Walmart to your local bodega will need to maintain a presence in Fortnite to stay relevant” is so profoundly stupid I’m just glad I have the documentation to prove someone legitimately believed it.

I re-read a bunch of Ball’s “the metaverse is 1000% inevitable” book before PAX and it was even weirder than I remember. I called it stupid at the time, but now that it’s also dated it feels like it’s earnestly brainstorming plans to grow corn on Neptune.

It really cannot be overstated that COVID happened, suddenly a bunch of absentee tech dads were forced to stay home where they saw their kids playing Animal Crossing while talking on Discord, then collectively decided to light a trillion dollars on fire to make Snow Crash IRL.

Why did the man with serious substance abuse issues die young, and what has it got to do with the pandemic? We are an allegedly serious new site that was touted as one of the replacements for the moribund MSM yet are completely aware of selection bias.

Steve Bunce significantly less animated and much more coherent with his punditry on 5 live tonight compared to last night.

OK, I'm at the stage where I'm wishing that I booked Tuesday off but what that ACTUALLY means is "I wish I could retire" and that's at least 17 years away, and nearer 20. So dig in and be ready to earn the big bucks on Tuesday again.

Scrolled by this poster and for a sec thought there was a Judas bowling movie.

Should have special dispensation for just this tie that if it’s level after 120 minutes that we have to have a replay at Old Trafford

Going to have to find the video of Eddie McCreadie aiming a running drop kick at Billy Bremner in the 1970 FA Cup Final replay; something that didn't even get called up as a foul.

The first time I heard 'Unfinished Sympathy' by Massive Attack, which was and remains an absolutely *perfect* song. I couldn't believe what I'd just heard, and relentlessly bugged friends until one of the cooler ones said 'Oh yeah, sounds like it's the new single from Massive Attack, they're great'.

It’s ok they’ve updated it now

I don’t think that’s how it works BBC Sport

Hmm, with the FA cup draw on TNT I have no choice to follow it on the radio with 5 Live "The draw coming up during 606 with Chris Sutton!" Hmm, with the FA cup draw on TNT I have no choice to follow it on Bluesky.

Referee: “You know the rules, and so do I”

The dream is alive!

Chelsea vs Leeds, FA Cup final.

Been up for half an hour after a 3 hour sofa nap

I know there's loads of other stuff going on today and everybody's blood sugar is spiking through chocolate consumption but the FA working itself into the position where the FA cup draw will be on TNT sport is one more sign that they do not care about the competition they claim is the world's best.

The Pope's approach to his Easter message was essentially "I know Popes who use subtext and they're all cowards".

Opening paragraph that hits like crack

That yellow is absolutely a red after review and will probably lead to a citation for further punishment.

Just going to check in on the ne- Might go drink some more wine

30+ minutes in and the eternally breathless BBC News Online news feed hasn't posted the latest missive from Racist Grandpa www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/cm... Post everything else and take it completely seriously.