i think something died in the bush outside my house. lots of flies and something smells funny. i don't want to go look because it's then a problem i have to remedy.

the miss has been on her basil shit again.

listen to @bloodwork.show

"huh, database is kinda responding a bit slow... wonder what could be causing tha-... oh."

my skin is on fire and i have a migraine.

wank. i gone and fucked my nail.

a CORNISH pasty is a protected class of food. it has PGI status. it must have 20 crimps. it must contain no less than 12.5% meat. it must contain potato, onion, and swede (or turnip). it must be baked with all the ingredients raw.

i'll fucking take it. there was a fuck off big thunderstorm last night though. sky was lit up like the paps killing diana. rip queen of our hearts.

i'm just mad i can't have a wank without using tor. it's shite.

i'm gonna figure out how to murder the air

kevin costner has gills, counts as a fish.

fuck sake. i have to eat. i am not hungry. but i have to eat.

i am chilling a brick

so i cooked some chicken and marinaded some pork shoulder steaks but with the heat i am just not Hungary

so i was driving back from tesco and i'm not sure what cunt said it but someone was quoted on the news saying something to the effect of "it's disastrous and deranged" for labour to pivot to the left. jfc these cunts are off their rocker.

wat

shit, chris cornell is dead.

too fakin hot

hey @andraswf.bsky.social wanna write a time loop script? twelve people in a diner. bacon. eggs. toast. we'll figure it out.

was waddling around in the garden with me knackers out because nothing over looks the garden so seemed like an alright thing to do. fucking little wean from next door staring through a hole in the fence.

@cpsc.gov having a stroke over this for sure.

do you have the thyme to listen to me whyne about nothing and everything all at ohynce?

yo chat who out here old enough to remember ide jumpers?

you are fucking kidding me

RATS AND CORN

WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN 33?????

a kid on the up hill childs cheese hill thing reporter: do you like cheese? child: no, not really. it gives me eczema.

stuff

Ze fuckin germans stealing the cheese

there is a man wearing a phillys shirt but he sounds like essex

fuck me. they interviewed a guy. "if i ate a few more pies i might be rounder, easier to roll down the hill then."

THE FUCKING GERMAN GOT THE CHEESE AGAIN. THREE TIMES IN A ROW. FUCK YEAH.

right if you're brit you can tune into the bbc and see some fucking dumb cunts throw themselves down a hill.

Cheese

CHEESE DAY CHEESE DAY IT'S A CHEESE DAY PEOPLE CHASE A CHEESE DOWN A FUCKING MASSIVE HILL

hey, cunt. there are ~230 michelin star restaraunts in the UK and we have a population of 68 million. there are ~270 michelin star restaurants in the US with a population of 330 million. shut yer fuckin trap.

was just in the cheese section of tesco and there was a kid in a trolley with their mam pushing them and that "mum, i need a poo." "we're nearly done, you can do a poo then." "no, mum, i *really* need a poo." "we're almost done." "but it's a VERY BIG POO. I NEED TO DO IT." "oh oh! okay! poo time!"

why bright? more dark please.

know what day it is? fucking cheese down a hill day.

it's fucking sick that nearly all of time team is on youtube

guys i think i found the problem

i fucking napped at the wrong time.

h from steps is dead.

go fuck yer sel

so i made some chilli onion chutney and made too much. went over to the neighbour to give them a wee jar of it. we had a good natter about all the holidays we'd been on that, turns out she'd like to go to iceland. then she says "oh by the way my kid has chicken pox." i never had chicken pox.

@postoctobrist.bsky.social you are absolutely right about manchester.

@cpsc.gov are you proud of me?

shouldn't have spent a chunk of yesterday crawling around like a worm, my back is killing me. i guess worms don't have that problem.

just bought a new pot because my existing pot isn't big enough to make the goat curry i want to make.

hell fucking yes. bargain.