i've got a bulgarian friend and he's like "oh come to sofia, i'll show you about." i'm not sure sofia is that chill. mfer gonna have to buy me some ice cream.

ahhhhhhhhhhh ya bitch. 32c? eat shit.

a kid on the up hill childs cheese hill thing reporter: do you like cheese? child: no, not really. it gives me eczema.

stuff

Ze fuckin germans stealing the cheese

there is a man wearing a phillys shirt but he sounds like essex

fuck me. they interviewed a guy. "if i ate a few more pies i might be rounder, easier to roll down the hill then."

THE FUCKING GERMAN GOT THE CHEESE AGAIN. THREE TIMES IN A ROW. FUCK YEAH.

right if you're brit you can tune into the bbc and see some fucking dumb cunts throw themselves down a hill.

Cheese

CHEESE DAY CHEESE DAY IT'S A CHEESE DAY PEOPLE CHASE A CHEESE DOWN A FUCKING MASSIVE HILL

hey, cunt. there are ~230 michelin star restaraunts in the UK and we have a population of 68 million. there are ~270 michelin star restaurants in the US with a population of 330 million. shut yer fuckin trap.

was just in the cheese section of tesco and there was a kid in a trolley with their mam pushing them and that "mum, i need a poo." "we're nearly done, you can do a poo then." "no, mum, i *really* need a poo." "we're almost done." "but it's a VERY BIG POO. I NEED TO DO IT." "oh oh! okay! poo time!"

why bright? more dark please.

know what day it is? fucking cheese down a hill day.

it's fucking sick that nearly all of time team is on youtube

guys i think i found the problem

i fucking napped at the wrong time.

h from steps is dead.

go fuck yer sel

so i made some chilli onion chutney and made too much. went over to the neighbour to give them a wee jar of it. we had a good natter about all the holidays we'd been on that, turns out she'd like to go to iceland. then she says "oh by the way my kid has chicken pox." i never had chicken pox.

@postoctobrist.bsky.social you are absolutely right about manchester.

@cpsc.gov are you proud of me?

shouldn't have spent a chunk of yesterday crawling around like a worm, my back is killing me. i guess worms don't have that problem.

just bought a new pot because my existing pot isn't big enough to make the goat curry i want to make.

hell fucking yes. bargain.

okay i'm tapping out. too fucking hot already.

RATS

need. sugar.

i just told the miss about the new gender thing "just let people piss, what the fuck is the problem here?" considering i just chased her around pretending to be a worm i think the the populace is ready for people doing a piss where they like. fuck these gender cunts. let me be worm.

right don't judge me but i just spent 30m chasing the miss aroud the garden listening to len's steal my sunshine. you have no idea how hard it is to crawl down a flight of stairs.

labour party policy

well shit, what a fucking oddity. i got paid today?

KLINGON! ERECT THE WARP CORE!

who knew the jefferies tubes had such low pressure seals.

LITTLE GUYS! CARS SHOULD BE LITTLE GUYS!

who knew space herpes could have tentacles?

watching a youtuber explain the shape of the universe using a bunch of different snacks and just thinking "that's tax deductable snacks, you cheeky fuck."

so i'm buying my pigeon, goat, and whatever from somewhere else. £30 min spend. £5 for delivery. hit the £30 min. "oh, hey! do you want a 10% off first time order discount code?" uhhh... sure. *puts in code* "you need to spend £3 more to meet the minimum spend." FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF-

Any time anyone ever tells you that the biggest companies in the world wouldn’t waste hundreds of billions of dollars on AI, show them this. This is the core profit center of one of the largest tech companies in the world, and it’s run like a sloppy pre seed startup in the web3 era

ooooh, 'member the 'lympics? when we all came together and realised we could actually do stuff? that britain wasn't actually that bad? 'member that? god save the queen? inspiring? all that? WELL FUCK OFF. YER KIDS CAN EAT SHIT.

ignore works too

i have done it. the fans are out.

welcome to meditation. we'll start with breathing. breath in, 2, 3, 4, and out, 2, 3, 4. in, 2, 3, 4, out, 2, 3, 4. in, 2, 3, 4, out, 2, 3, 4, 5. in, 2, 3, 4, out, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6. in, 2, 3, 4, out, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7. in, 2, 3, 4, out, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8. in, 2, 3, 4, out, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9. in-

i can think of another way...

man, i love the double whammy of a monday bank holiday and extreme heat. ez mode support desk day. no fucker is working which means no fucker is using a computer which means no fucker is breaking anything.

was looking to buy some pigeon, goat, and other game meats this month and i was just checking out some reviews and... good sign? i guess?