children of the corncob
@bisk.sureis.sexy
📤 867
📥 573
📝 32130
aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
*sigh* i am being assaulted by a rat named pip who is demanding attention.
about 2 hours ago
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oh my god i can't believe i have to say it again BUT YOU CAN'T BUILD A BRIDGE ACROSS THE IRISH SEA beyond the fucking insane weather that would not just make it a nightmare to build but operationally problematic we dumped a load of unexploded bombs in there.
add a skeleton here at some point
about 2 hours ago
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fuuuck you.
about 22 hours ago
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no one is good when they start doing something. don't be sad that you're a bit shit.
1 day ago
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*sigh* Wordle 1,692 4/6 ⬛🟨⬛⬛🟨 🟩⬛🟩⬛⬛ 🟩🟩🟩⬛⬛ 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩
2 days ago
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oh shit the curling is on
2 days ago
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back in the cage, eating some corn.
add a skeleton here at some point
2 days ago
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my rats pip and pop having a nice nibble on a little treat on my arm. they have done some gnarly jumps today.
2 days ago
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you'll all be glad to know the miss ate every gherkin. she opened the fridge and went "OH FUCK YES" and scoffed the lot.
add a skeleton here at some point
3 days ago
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ate a burger, sorta cleaned kitchen, drank some soup, didn't die. seems like a reasonable day. 6/10.
3 days ago
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it's a start.
add a skeleton here at some point
3 days ago
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what's he testifying about? sissy hypno porn?
add a skeleton here at some point
3 days ago
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suppose i should actually do this now...
add a skeleton here at some point
3 days ago
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it's 3 parts but i think page eight/turks & caicos/salting the battlefield are really up there for me as dad movies.
add a skeleton here at some point
3 days ago
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my starter was nice and lucky here. Wordle 1,691 3/6 🟩🟩⬛⬛⬛ 🟩🟩🟩⬛🟩 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩
3 days ago
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someone come over with a whip and make me clean the kitchen.
3 days ago
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i hope john virgo wasn't a nonce. he seemed alright.
3 days ago
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having my second maccas double cheese burger and holy shit they put so many gherkins in here. it's not even an extra gherkins order.
3 days ago
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i was having a humble nap and the miss came upstairs and said "i have a maccas double cheese for you." the extravagance! i said no i couldn't possibly but she insisted. dear reader i couldn't refuse. i ate half a double cheese in bed with no kit on! what's more is there's another for breakfast!
3 days ago
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imagine being worth more than half a trillion dollars and not wanting a milf and instead becoming a paedophile. the milfs, they're there. the milfs, they're lonely. the milfs, they want you right now.
4 days ago
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right i'm starting fascism where i'm in charge and i'm putting a revolver to the head of ever person and asking: "bourbon biscuits or custard creams?" before i pull the trigger. the joke is only 2 of the 6 chambers are filled but the other joke is those 2 are snapcaps.
4 days ago
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*sigh* kitchen...
4 days ago
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my mate has just started a job at a company that handles health data and they're using AI to try and do ISO27001 compliance... for the love of christ just execute me.
4 days ago
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have any of you actually sold a car?
4 days ago
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BYE BYE CAR YOU WERE KINDA GOOD FOR £700.
4 days ago
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i got le rat (french) on me
4 days ago
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check out this pair of young (soon to be hot) chicks i picked up in tesco.
4 days ago
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some dickhead is doing laps with their 4 cylinder superbike.
5 days ago
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i am getting evils from pop.
5 days ago
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i wonder what the worst wanking related injury in history has been...
5 days ago
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sometimes i read stuff and i'm like: "have you ever actually experienced the home office?" i've helped a guy move here and navigate the process, fucking nightmare. i'm as english as you can get and just wanted a passport, fucking nightmare. the home office is not fit for purpose.
5 days ago
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OH MY GAWWWWWD IT'S ONLY TWENTY TO THREE
5 days ago
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.... i am not sure about any of this.
5 days ago
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this better be a fucking quiet work day because i am still not in the mood.
5 days ago
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there are two rats inside your clothes. they are fighting. you are not having a great time.
5 days ago
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i have posted my recipe before but i will now post it again about how to make completely unfuckupable fuckable gluten free yorkshire puddings. the recipe is in the alt text.
add a skeleton here at some point
6 days ago
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my rats pip and pop are being extremely cute but i can't post videos of it because every time i pick up my phone to record them they attack my phone.
6 days ago
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duck day duck day it's a duck day going to roast duck legs and some duck detective i will play.
6 days ago
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played music *a bit* loud last night at about 8pm and the neighbour came over to ask us to turn it down because she and her wean were sick. i'm not a dick so i complied. still reckon it was them that reported us to the police over the domestic violence thing.
6 days ago
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"if i wanted to be a paedophile i could be a paedophile without the help of anyone and actually i'm so smart if i was a paedophile i'd still have so much of my brain left to think about other things not just paedophilia." lol.
6 days ago
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automatically generated subtitles are funny on drag races.
7 days ago
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rats rats rats. they're full of energy today. maybe too much energy...
loading . . .
7 days ago
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remember kids, always wrap up.
add a skeleton here at some point
7 days ago
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microsoft banned epstein from xbox live. glad to see that microsoft was taking child sex trafficking more seriously than the US government.
7 days ago
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this is a fucking fantastic documentary.
loading . . .
The Lost Neanderthals
Scientists uncover the secrets of the Mandrin Cave in France, where the remains of a Neanderthal were found in 2015.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m002j14k/the-lost-neanderthals
7 days ago
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pip is storing kibbles in the cage but pop is stealing them and bringing them out to the sofa and storing them in a box to which pip's response is to go to the box and steal the kibbles then take them back to the cage to store to whi- yeah you see where this is going, it's very funny.
8 days ago
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this was dumb. i hate it. Wordle 1,685 4/6 ⬛⬛🟩⬛⬛ ⬛⬛🟩⬛⬛ ⬛⬛🟩⬛⬛ 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩
9 days ago
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gm gamers hoes pimps and most importantly pops and pips.
9 days ago
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finger nails are gross. why can't they be like teeth and stay the same size.
10 days ago
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"We want AI to work for Britain, and that means ensuring Britons can work with AI." am i having a fucking aneurysm?
10 days ago
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