have started playing this and it's great fun. i feel like a proper columbo. except 127 years ago. and irish.

oh cool a customer's server appears to have gone down. yaaaaay. customer states it's still covered in blinky lights and they're all green so fuck knows what's up with it.

I WONDER WHO THE FUCK GAVE THEM THAT IDEA NIGEL, YOU ABSOLUTE HORSE DIARRHEA SPONGE

if i was director general of the BBC i'd put all the money into archaeology shows and spaces of air time where there aren't enough archaeology shows we will just broadcast trees. this is not just for TV. all BBC radio stations will do the same. just 90% gentle susurruses, 10% cool archaeology.

rats rats rats rats rats! rat alert! it's rats! i am the provider of a rat tube.

cooked some nice ribeye surf and turf for the miss's spa day dinner with garlic mushroom, asparagus, chips, scampi, and a peppercorn sauce.

lol bye bye tim davie you cunt

love it when the house is quiet and i can just hear a rat munching on some fresh corn.

might have to stop following what polanski is getting up to because it's making me more annoyed about everything else.

listening to @trashfuture.bsky.social and it's great to learn that we're doing 00s CDO shit again except this time it's for a warehouse full of windscreen wipers.

kinda weird that there's no age restrictions on buying a bow and arrow. pretty sure these things can kill people.

imagine saving up a really big ripper of a fart for the 2 minutes silence then deploying it at the morrisons cheese counter.

*sigh* suppose the day can't all just be fry ups and naps. should probably do some housework or play silksong. not sure which is more punishing.

this is how i observed the two minute silence and i'm sure the fallen would approve that i used their sacrifice to eat a big fry up and have a nice nap.

the miss is having a spa day so fry up

happy 9/11 for all who celebrate

happy 9/11 for all who celebrate

i figured this out during a covid stupor while reading the manual. my tumbledryer is fucking """intelligent""". it measures the moisture when you put it in. it stops; which makes you think it's done; but it's not. it's measuring the moisture. it does this until the moisture is gone. i hate it.

made a little backstop from scrap for the miss as she's got an archery set as a little treat.

lunch

pnumatic were the only hoover company brave enough to give you the choice of what personality hoover to get sucked off by.

"Fantastıċ cu√√y; all vesj bej+", Keir Starmer

the greatest trick the devil ever pulled was

i love to see that goatse is doing the rounds again. some things never die.

so like at 10am today i said that they wouldn't do this because appealing the ruling that tells them "hey, you've got to do your legal obligation to fund food programs" would make them look like callous evil pricks and everyone would hate them but then they go prove me wrong.

doing work today because i felt i was getting over the covid but actually doing the work and having to use the noggin it seems like i thought i was more over it than i actually am. felt alright sitting on the sofa all day playing games, but doing work all day in a chair is exhausting. fuckin boo.

hooo boy that synthient cred stuffing data was a doozy. check your email addresses: haveibeenpwned.com check your passwords: haveibeenpwned.com/Passwords or fuck it, just update your passwords anyway and if you haven't done so already enable 2FA everywhere you can.

labour are doing a terrible job with these accidental prisoner releases thank god they caught the guy thou-... ... oh wait this is from 2011.

god having covid fucking sucks and the government's response to it still sucks. just out here like "sure, why not give everyone some brain damage and long term illness? as a little treat."

someone tell me to do the washing up

TIL pumpkin seeds have shells and rats don't eat them

loads of people don't pay their taxes. jimmy carr, gary barlow, loads of others. the one that sticks for me is shakira and i do not know why. "shakira didn't pay her taxes" just lands for me.

it's funny reading the responses to this. i used to sell large quantities of drugs and had to deal with shit like having a gun in my face but even then it was incredibly rare to happen and that's in a high risk "industry". no normal brit should even be worrying about this.

my contract says i'm supposed to call my boss half an hour before work if i'm too sick to work. one boss isn't working today. called the other boss for 45 minutes straight and he didn't answer. left him some messages, unread. had to call my subordinate to tell him to tell the boss i was sick.

i love my rats but i am ill and they are demanding cunts. does anyone want a pair of rats inside their clothes for 2 hours this morning?

this is why i have so many unfinished games.

what's mad is i have respiratory problems so used to get the boosters for free and now they're like £100. the miss works in care and you'd think they'd get boosters for free too. nope. fucking ridiculous.

fuckin.... shite.

i think a child placed a pox on my house as me and the miss are both extremely diseased soup. bring us soup.

i see the new witcher series has introduced cocaine.

do kids still do pinch punch first of the month in increasingly violent ways or is that just now an artefact of history?

why milwalkians say ghost so weird. goast.

PINCH PUNCH FIRST OF THE MONTH AND NO RETURNS

can barely fucking sit down before there are kids ringing the doorbell again. car skeleton is doing numbers though.

the children have already begun...

what has the prick done now?

identified these in strange horticulture. if you're up for a cozy slightly spooky game this spooky season you should play strange horticulture and strange antiquities. they are both fantastic.

it's weird how trying to not do work sometimes is more effort than doing the work.

8/10 if you find one in your kitchen messing up all your pots and pans.

lol