I see the English are at it again #TheFootball

In my studies of the Border Reavers of the 16th C, I have come across this curse laid down by the Archbishop of Glasgow against the murderous bands of thieves and ne’er-do-wells of the time. That’s some damn fine cursing, padré.

Haaland will always be the Nordic Meat Shield. He has no other title.

Well. www.oxfordmail.co.uk/news/2624087...

My Niwaki billhook sickle arrives tomorrow, so the zombie apocalypse had better wait until postie’s been.

The existence of Sam Matterface implies there's a Sam Antimatterface

IS THE FREE OWL BACK?

Bloody Arsenal, ruining the World Cup for everybody

[Runs in out of breath] TO THE MANOR GORN.

The Sorting Hat’s fallen on rough times. Good.

This game’s so bad there’s a Mexican wave #TheFootball

Forgot to post this the other evening. Sunset sparkly ice cloud thingy.

Happy 100th birthday to this guy.

Apart from Panama and Tophatistan, are there any other countries named after hats? #WorldCup

LOL.

Ted Lasso. Why are the top fans always in the pub and never go to games? #RealismInPopularDrama

OI! SAINSBURY’S!! NOOOO!!!

Close Encounters of the Third Kind just started on BBC2. There goes my afternoon.

I’ve repeatedly told my son that he should be writing comedy. This was his reaction to Lewis Hamilton’s inability to finish a lap in qualifying:

Did my duty as a parish councillor by tidying up the village phone box, which had a tree growing inside it. Presumably it was making [oh-ho!] a TRUNK call!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyway. We’ve spent three days searching the house for a lost dinner plate. I’ve even been on my hands and knees looking under sofas, bookcases and beds. Dotty just found it in the fridge, under half a watermelon, exactly where she left it. I am not angry, just disappointed.

Moonlight shadow . .. … … shadow #totp

Shakatak there, with Dark is the Night, from their album Songs About The Bleedin’ Obvious. Other hits from this release included “Ouch, the kettle is hot” and “Never gamble on a fart if you’re pissed” #totp

POP FACT: Elton John’s real name is Dill Danding. He’s been telling us for years, he even wrote a song. #totp

SOD OFF ROD #totp

KEYTAR KLAXON #totp

Narrator’s voice: Dark Star were not, in fact, one too watch in 2000 #totp

🎵 We had joy we had fun We flicked bogies at the sun But the sun got to hot And the bogies turned to snot 🎶 #totp

OH SOD OFF CYNICALLY RE-RELEASED LENNON #totp

It’s a #TOTP from January. Nobody puts their best tunes out in January, not even Shania.

My biggest criticism of the motor industry is that Kia brought out a model called the Venga AND IT WASN’T EVEN A BUS #totp

Stole this from FB.

One fewer rapists in the world.

Rain! Sweet, blessed rain!!

I am spotting for Dotty while she is wild swimming, and the swimming perve is here again, being aggressively naked in front of everyone. MENS. DON’T. JUST DON’T.

I’m organising a convention for fans of Henry Winkler and The Fonz in the Welsh Borders. It’ll be called the Eyyyyyyy-on-Wye Festival. #dadjokes #ImHereAllWeek #TryTheVeal #TipYourWaitStaff

In which @2000ad.bsky.social predicts the future AGAIN.

Is there some sort of media campaign for journalists to Read Through Your Work And Edit Out The AI Dialogue yet?

IT IS TIME.

My favourite genre of rose-tinted nostalgia jigsaws is air shows, which all look like the control tower picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue.

Why yes, I still have a manual typewriter. And look! It still works!

CONSPIRACY THEORY: Aircraft chemtrails are specifically targeted contraceptives to prevent pumas, panthers, leopards and the odd lion from breeding in the wild in the UK, and - their sources of food dwindling - coming into our towns to feed. www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

I see the chemtrail conspiracy theorists have noticed the sky again. Give it a rest, you planks.

“Well, as long as Scotland keep it tight at the back, they’ll be OK” “Ah”

The Beatles secretly reformed as The Wombles.

Today marks the ninth anniversary of the time I saw the Beast of Bodmin in the (then) terrible Bodmin Jail. I soiled myself in fear.

I dunno which is weirder…

Back on the other site, years ago, there was a thread about the most pretentious thing people had ever overheard. Someone said they witnessed a guy at an ice cream van asking for 'two Magna'.

I have purchased a Scotland hat, in order that I may blend in more effectively on the mean streets of Kelso, and it looks like I’m wearing a Brian Butterfield disguise.