We have a dog visiting. “He’s named after a character from a really old film.” Reader, that “really old film” is Point Break (1991) 😩

He’s gone electric.

Read A Christmas Carol by that Dickens chap this evening, and boy do I have a spoiler about Tiny Tim.

SATISFACTORY #TheArsenal

I've stuck randomly generated conspiracies onto Matt from the Telegraph's cartoons to create "Tinfoil Matt" (Not AI, me writing templates, the good old fashioned way to do these things with a strong degree of authorship.) Follow @tinfoil-matt.bsky.social NOW.

I feel seen. #totp

They’re as serious as cancer, you know #totp

The arse end of acid house was bloody awful wasn’t it? #totp

Nick Berry phoning in the old TV theme tune #totp

FACT CHECK: The sun does not sometimes go round the moon. #totp

I could quite happily be a goth if it all sounded like the Sisters Of Mercy #totp

Bugger off Freds #totp

As a former broadcast engineer, couldn’t they align that satellite dish properly? Just look as those sparkles. #totp

I have just purchased four candles from an olde-timey hardware shop. Nothing. Not a dickie bird. The country’s gone.

Two days before Christmas and IBS sticks its ugly face round the door like an unwelcome visitor.

Well, happy anniversary to one of the finest of festive exchanges

Happy Five Nil At The Lane Day to all who celebrate. youtu.be/u--2vzQP6KQ

Luckily we still have Dai Rea.

Paddington YOU BASTARD.

I present the River Tweed at Kelso, possibly the most expensive fishing ground in the country.

Who’s going to crack an egg into Bob Mortimer’s bath now? RIP Chris Rea.

My client says she knows nothing about a leaky canal, she was merely on her way to vespers.

I am introducing @fizzandnonsense.bsky.social to the Scotch Sex Ghost From The Planet Scotchland episode of Star Trek TNG. There may be regrets.

MORE THAN CLOCK. It is, in fact, exactly one clock. A clock which doesn’t work, making it LESS THAN CLOCK.

Not now, enormous 68-million-year-old egg in Antarctica

He's got a two day head start on you, which is more than he needs. Wally's got friends in every town and village from here to the Sudan, he speaks a dozen languages, knows every local custom, he'll blend in, disappear, you'll never see him again.

Seriously, fuck that guy.

SATISFACTORY #TheArsenal

We are watching A Scottish Christmas Secret, and hope it is as bad as we’ve been led to believe.

Whoever signed off that advertising hoarding that says "It's Classic Tottenham" should never be allowed near the club again. #coys

Apropos of not very much at all.

Popped into town to see Miss Havisham. She’s not taking visitors.

Just completed final watch through of the finished ROGUE TROOPER film… 25 years of pestering @2000ad.bsky.social to let me give it a shot, 3 years of production to make the thing & now… it’s DONE! Can’t wait for you to see it. So, so proud of our team. We’ve made something a bit special. ❤️

I don’t follow boxing because it has long descended into farce, but the descriptions of last night’s whupping are giving me life.

Turning up in my Facebook memories, and it’s a crime not to repost.

CIA Realizes It’s Been Using Black Highlighters All These Year theonion.com/cia-realizes...

We are watching a dreadful, corny Christmas movie, and Dotty is live posting it so I don’t have to.

Hear me out: Advent calendars, but counting down to your birthday. It’s not fair that only Jesus gets this.

My messed-up foot, which got messed up as the direct result of a David Walliams-related incident, has been twinging like hell today. And now I know why.

HONKING INTENSIFIES

Well you can eff that sky high.

Things that happen living in the countryside : The fuel oil company accidentally putting 400 litres of kerosene in our tank instead of delivering to an admittedly similar address on the other side of the village. Whoops.

#KimJongUnTrouserWatch Almost normal trousers, largely hidden by the leather flasher mac. Three bodyguards, closing down on the lady with the plastic flowers to offer a critique of her low-energy cheering.

During the chase a man in the cinema told Paddington to "run, you cunt"

Oh put it away, you avian pervert.

Wait, I’ve been in Edinburgh all evening, and come home to find an actual person in authority saying “if you want testicles, that’s extra”?

I am in a CostCo. Send help.

Worst. Riverdance. Ever.