Someone fetch Arteta his blanky and pop him down for a nap, he's cranky

With Dan Burn at one end of the pitch and Woltemade at the other, Newcastle are hot favourites to win the "decent touch for a big lad" trophy

So if four more of the European team come down with injuries, we get to 14 points and retain the cup?

Never work with animals and children etc etc etc... #Catsifbluesky

Shame that for Gyokeres The three and a half twists with pike after the tiniest contact was perfectly excuted and deserved some reward

There used to be a joke in the 1990s that football was a simple game. Two teams played for 90 minutes and in the end, the Germans won That's road cycling in the 2020s. A hundred blokes pedal for five hours and in the end, Tadej Pogacar wins

Good god, how does Jason Bell continue to steal a living as a TV presenter So many words, so little actual technical input

I'd say coming to a country, paying tax and NI, being an active part of its economy while knowing that its politicians view you as so toxic they argue over how to get rid of you *is* voluntary work for the community

Not sure what the point of VAR is, if it's not to spot Matty Cash making a save in his own penalty area

One asleep, one very much not asleep

Banksy has discovered the Dreamies drawer!

Poor Graham Potter. Always suggested for clubs under pressure already.

“My wife went to Riyadh to see an edgy comedian” “Jimmy Carr?” “No, she went of her own accord”

You can't satirise United any more, they've gone beyond parody

3 points to win 2.5 points to retain Pack the top of the order tomorrow and get it done early

USA putting Scheffler and DeChambeau together to try and get at least one point, and they don't even get to the 17th Fucking hilarious 😂

The US Ryder Cup team emblematic of the nation: a divided, embarrassing shambles.

DeChambeau needs to fuck off back to his sportswashing murderous misogynist theocracy mates

This is just getting ridiculous now. On-course officials doing absolutely nothing to manage the behaviour of the crowd It's going to end up with a physical confrontation and pearl-clutching from the USPGA when somebody reacts

The next cat sofa is nearly complete.. just gotta fill the drawers..

It's catching Lowry drains a long putt, points at a heckler and screams "FUCK YOU!" 😂

If fans thought Moyes's teams weren't playing "the West Ham way", wait until they have to watch the borefest Nuno's teams serve up

American fans booing Scheffler You love to hear it

Is Scottie Scheffler the new Tiger Woods? Dominant in individual strokeplay, absolutely hopeless in the Ryder Cup

This England side are levels above everyone else in terms of athleticism and technique

Ellie Kildunne #FromYorkshire

McIlroy yelling "shut the fuck up" at some dribbling Cletus, then dropping to within six feet from 150 yards Nut him, Rory

Dear lord, but American golf fans are a collection of traumatic brain injuries made flesh You can understand how Trump won two elections listening to these window-lickers

88 all out and relegated That's an incredible collapse from Durham, who only needed to bat the day out to stay up

you probably need to be of a certain vintage to understand the absolute hilarity of ken starr being in the epstein files

Thomas Fleetwood, stop that right now! Ridiculous putt

In light of what happened to Charlie Kirk, I heartily support far-right nutjobs being asked to stand still in one place for an extended period of time

Fucking inbred Cletuses heckling players as they're about to start their backswing

The news?

I know we live in a world filled with terrible people doing awful things but I still the worst are Americans shouting "get in the hole" at the Ryder Cup.

If you'd offered Europe 5-3 up after day one, I reckon they would have taken that And it could still get better than that

Madness, before they realised there was good money in novelty records #totp

If you're a Green Day fan, you might recognise War Stories by Starjets Was one of the tracks on Billie Joe's solo covers album #totp

Right, strap in for fuck knows what atrocities 1979 has to offer #totp

For no reason, here's a camera angle right down the presenter's top Fucking hell lads, don't make it so obvious #totp

Intergalactic and Sabotage are two of the greatest music videos in history, and I will take no argument on this #totp

Fucking Intergalactic Oh my yes Art #totp

Are they called Space because they lack an atmosphere? #totp

Hanson were *still* going? Jesus why? #totp

An episode that peaks with the opening track Save Tonight is an absolute banger, as is the album it's from to be fair #totp

There's an entire verse of this version of Three Lions dedicated to a 0-0 draw, which seems a bit desperate #totp

This is the first #totp episode for three years to not feature either Mousse T or Lutricia McNeal

"We have someone in the studio who's come over to do Parkinson, so we've got him on to fill some time" #totp

I bet he's fiddled with B*witched, the dirty sod #totp