Damien Owens
@damienowens.bsky.social
📤 4920
📥 438
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Writer/fancy ape damienowens.com Latest book, Duffy and Son:
https://shorturl.at/6oF6O
When I was a child my mother bought a hostess trolley. It looked insane in our cramped little house. But she'd spent the cash and insisted we use it all the time, bumping and scratching as we went. It was, in every way, a worse experience than just carrying stuff yourself. This is a post about AI.
about 3 hours ago
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John Moynes
about 20 hours ago
You can also kill vampires by hoofing them in the spuds.
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Jason
1 day ago
I do love a completely shit acronym.
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Better Things Are Possible
3 days ago
Lady at the store briefly glanced at me and then started typing on her phone. Probably letting her friends and family know that she just saw a handsome guy acting normal
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I bet the message Kash Patel fell for said something like 'Hello Kash, we are Iranian hackers. Click here to be Iranianly hacked.'
3 days ago
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trouteyes
3 days ago
Oh, ye, thou really hast me now Thou hast me so I can't sleep at night Thou really hast me Thou really hast me Thou really hast me
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kate bush’s husband
4 days ago
oh my god
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lauren
4 days ago
war_iran_final-blow_v1.pdf war_iran_final-final-blow-v2.pdf war_iran_final-blow-no edits.pdf war_iran_final-blow-no edits (1).pdf war_iran_final-blow-no edits (1) APPROVED.pdf IRANWARPLANSFINALFINALFINAL.pdf IRANWARPLANSFINALFINALFINAL (1).pdf
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Ash Parrish, Temporal Light Witch
5 days ago
Stop worrying about what YA books to let your kids read and let them sort it out with V C Andrews and cocaine era Stephen King as God intended
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Ygrene
5 days ago
[creation of dads] god: (finishing touches) …and i’m done dads: hi done we’re dads god: *creates the adjustable thermostat*
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Wow, that's a quality poster, that
@kipconlon.bsky.social
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5 days ago
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Kip Conlon
7 days ago
In accordance with our wishes, grandpa’s funeral was cheap.
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Kip Conlon
9 days ago
After discovering skywriter charged by the word, I went with, “be wife y/n”
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Kip Conlon
5 days ago
First, the good news. The bathwater has been disposed of.
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I'm good in a crisis. I wish I could swap that for being good just normally.
6 days ago
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Fun
7 days ago
walton goggins looks like james marsden on a roller coaster
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Trump's experience with Iran.
7 days ago
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New-Cleckit Dominie
7 days ago
At least I get to repost the greatest headline the Independent has ever run.
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My main goal in life is to never have enemies called 'the surface-dwellers'.
8 days ago
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We should pick a day and all pretend Trump's dead so he gets to see what it'll be like.
9 days ago
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Sue Kirk
9 days ago
I'm glad he said this. Now, no one can give you shit for celebrating when the wonderful event happens.
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cait (and adonis)
10 days ago
lmao the eurovision mascot is so ugly I literally screamed at this reveal
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Yeah, I tried that Random Bullshit generator too. I got ‘Jay-Z launches AI-powered surfboard you can stream movies on’.
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10 days ago
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beetle moses
13 days ago
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Rose Ruane
11 days ago
Saw your boyfriend in Hobbycraft
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In a better universe the reporter would have said 'Well, a) you weren't president then, you senile tangerine ballsack, and b) the question was about informing ALLIES, you senile tangerine ballsack.'
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11 days ago
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Spring has sprung! I found it practically balmy this morning when I went out for my 10:30 cry.
11 days ago
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much like your posting
12 days ago
Perfect
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Guillotine Hunger Force
12 days ago
so much of this decade condensed into one tweet
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Jason
12 days ago
Memories of one of my favourite post-St Patrick’s Day signs from a shop in Galway a few years ago.
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The Metaverse is closing down. I hope you're all happy now. Look how sad or maybe disappointed or I suppose it could be angry Mark is.
12 days ago
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Just say 'I'm a psychopath', Marc, this is taking forever.
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14 days ago
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Hadas Weiss
14 days ago
europeans when asked to help unblock the strait of hormuz
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Giles Wilkes
14 days ago
Someone needs to send an ambulance to X
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area woman
14 days ago
not right now, funk soul brother
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Ciara | Ciaraíoch 🎨
15 days ago
Friend found an ad for this new dating app and am 98% confident this somehow counts as a hate crime on this, the feast week of our Lord and Saviour Saint Patrick
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Steven (with a PH)
17 days ago
Took all four cats to the vets this evening and was trying to explain the interpersonal dynamics at play so said "She's sort of like the Raphael of the group..." and then had to explain the interpersonal dynamics of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
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The lie in tamer
17 days ago
That time Ronnie Drew was nearly driven mad by a parrot in Dublin zoo
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The latest White House thinking on the Strait of Hormuz.
17 days ago
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Liz Nugent
19 days ago
My new book The Truth About Ruby Cooper will be published tomorrow Thurs 12th March in Uk and Ireland. Please buy it or borrow it from your library for free. 😊
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Yes, hello, is that God? Yeah, hi. I have a complaint. You gave me this brain that’s designed for finding berries and avoiding lions and now people are ‘just circling back’ to see if we can ‘move the needle’ on ‘key initiatives’? NONE of those things are berries.
20 days ago
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Ciarán Mc Mahon
21 days ago
I specifically voted for Connolly to embarrass the government in exactly this way (by stating the obvious)
www.rte.ie/news/2026/03...
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Middle East conflict is 'assault on international law'
President Catherine Connolly has described the situation in the Middle East as a "deliberate assault on international law".
https://www.rte.ie/news/2026/0308/1562247-ireland-middle-east/
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trickykat
22 days ago
okay yes I read the invite but this is my wedding hoodie
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Mentally preparing myself for the spectacle of Americans who didn't care about any of it up to now suddenly turning on Trump because their personal petrol got more expensive.
21 days ago
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Luke O'Neil
21 days ago
Attacks leave dead vs killed
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cool calm and collected/@coolcalmcollected mastodon.social
23 days ago
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Social Democrats
24 days ago
The President of the United States is a warmonger and a tyrant. Ireland, the EU and the UN need to hold him to account. There may be economic impacts, but it is vital that we stand behind international law at every turn.
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Imagine having missed the Golden Age of The Simpsons and thus having a normal brain. Imagine being able to hear someone saying ‘chowder’ and not having to go ‘CHOWDAH. SAY IT RIGHT.’
25 days ago
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🌎🐎John Hyphen🎮🤠
26 days ago
it's sad the the 'before' picture is so commonplace (and so accepted as normal) in ireland if they were displayed the other way around, you would think something cataclysmic had happened
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