little kids have this attitude of awe & delight at the weird shit their bodies can do yknow. like that armpit sound. maybe i should try to incorporate some of that delight into brand new experiences like tweaking my ancient neck dancing too hard to the DING DONG DING DONG in patti smith’s gloria

Extraordinary courage from Ahmed al Ahmed, a Muslim, 43-year-old father of two, who bravely risked his life to save his neighbors celebrating Hanukkah. Praying for his full & speedy recovery. And so deeply inspired by his example.

nothing makes women feel safe like receiving ocular patdowns from guys who look like this btw

There can’t be a more horrific insight into the sickness of the US’s gun crime epidemic than the fact two survivors of Brown University had already survived school shootings. One was shot in the abdomen in 2016, while her best friend died. www.theguardian.com/us-news/2025...

oh autocorrect do you hate anyone as much as you hate mj lenderman. oh sure NOW when i type it you don’t have shit to say about it

i love line dancing. it combines my two favorite activities: dancing, and following some goddamn RULES

i’m not loving the tone people are taking with the ongoing horrifying tragedy that is the brown university shooting tbh

that said, for old times’ sake

gotta say i was dreading arriving at penn station during santacon but it’s a pretty unimpressive little limp dick santacon this year. what happened? did the grinch hide all the jagermeister?

you guys are my friends, all fifty however many thousand of you, so i’ll tell yall that mattie’s book was beautifully drawn and deeply moving. you won’t be able to put it down, and once you finish it maybe you’ll do what i did and look back over the art on all your favorite pages

is that good

something i really admire about boston is how fundamentally hated starbucks seems to be here. at the train station the crowd at dunkin is nigh on impassable but even so only a few shifty eyed cowards are at the starbucks. you guys really did it man you defeated the monster

i’m not prissy about this sort of thing as a rule but i am simply not willing to eat at a restaurant called Stinky’s

it’s nice to know that a full 17 years after quitting starbucks i still recoil in straight up revulsion at the sound of norah jones’ voice

actually the meek will not inherit the earth. the earth will be inherited by elderly divorced women who don’t give a fuck about anything anymore. and rightly so

THE BEATING OFF JOKER: its too late batman! im beating off! BATMAN: no! stop this at once!!! THE BEATING OFF JOKER: [beating off] AH HA HA HA HA HA HA

seeing fred savage is reminding me of my favorite ben savage moment

i forgot that columbo is the grandpa in the princess bride, and also that he goes so 2,000 year old man with his portrayal (‘she vas frightened, da eel started to charge her…’)

honestly he’s right

i’m gonna level with you guys i didn’t think noam chomsky was dead PER SE but like, a little bit i did

(Pitching an op-ed) It's about my friend who betrayed me

haha fuck the very day i get into penn station 🤡

profoundly damning of american discourse that these epstein photos are causing people to say “omg he had sex toys and shibari equipment ew” and not “the systemic abuse of women and girls is a banal fact of elite american life”

boston you guys truly have the best accent in the country don’t listen to anyone who says otherwise. it’s both sexy and full of gravitas

went to see baz luhrmann’s Elvis and the old lady next to me had clearly never gotten luhrmann’d before and thought she was getting a straightforward elvis biopic

men who refuse to be alone with a woman are missing out on the sovereignest experience in this life (being alone with a woman)

despite being the newest full-time librarian on staff my “best of 2025” picks are at the top of the list, which has done wonders for my pro- @raxkingisdead.bsky.social and @dirtbagqueer.rocks agenda.

i am often asked about my Writing Process, and i rarely know what to say. but since i’m deep in it today i wrote about it for you fine people 💋 www.patreon.com/posts/145714...

how is it even a question

i get WEIRD when im workin yall. i mean like when im doing a big ass push on some project, not just in my day to day. yesterday the only things i ate were trail mix and grocery store sushi. today i had a whole out loud conversation with one of the characters in my novel, a guy who doesn’t exist

that ‘i love you so much’…someone should’ve had his ass arrested for it

i am admittedly not the most knowledgeable about how things work in this realm but data centers seem incredibly ripe for luddite style sabotage

How can people join you in getting involved across D.C.? Our picks this week: 🍕 @spotlightdc.bsky.social hosts a pizza party 🎤 Open mic to save @splitthisrock.bsky.social 🍸 @harrietsdreams.bsky.social's courtwatch anniversary 🤣 @dcabortionfund.bsky.social celebrates 30 years one last time

all i'm saying is that there were better options

i have no knack for sales i always feel like a big jerkoff trying to promote my work. but im proud as hell of this book and i really put my back into it. if you’ve already bought it i love you a lot. if not, consider throwing a little gelt my way

hey i released a book this year btw. it’s called SLOPPY and it makes a great holiday present for a little sister, open-minded rabbi, or ex-con. here’s a gift link to @alexandrajacobs.bsky.social’s review of it if you’re not sure you want to give it to the slobs in your life

But Jacob, I’m A Little Bit Older Than You

the thumbnail is the only proof i need that this video is simply not worth watching

sometimes i’ll be having a normal morning and my phone will be like ‘that’s great babe how about i shuffle the 50 most lovelorn songs ever written for you real quick’

Zero AI used in this comic, but I did trace some photos flaminghydra.com/teeth-beach-...

Hiring a bunch of babes in bikinis to stand on the side of the path that Sisyphus uses to push his rock up the hill. Asking Sisyphus later if that improved things any. He pauses thoughtfully before answering, "Yeah"

there are no coffee stirrers in my hotel room so i’m stirring my coffee with the business end of a hoop earring. what level of trashy is this

so far biopics are mostly interested in the period of elvis when things start to go horribly wrong but i want a biopic of early elvis, sun records elvis. i want the movie about the pretty boy with girly lashes who everyone, man or woman, wanted to bang

A planned rule to set new silica exposure limits—and finally address Appalachia’s devastating black lung crisis—has been under continued assault by coal bosses and the Trump admin. Now, it looks like it’s off the table entirely. New for @inthesetimes.com: inthesetimes.com/article/the-...

billionaires doing charity work is so funny man. with their little donations. does the owl donate to the mouse

i cried a few times during this performance. i90 is dedicated to my trans siblings and anyone who doesn’t want us to die in some national self-inflicted AIDS crisis. i hope you watch and feel what we felt

im sure this is fine

i wrote 5,500 words today btw. all while dealing with family bullshit, seeing friends, emoting heavily, and ‘keeping it tight.’ you have no excuse

the bit that never gets old

This is so fucking funny dude.