was worried about what i’d do if i couldn’t get my abortifacients in the mail but folks god loves to open a window

Again this should inspire wall-to-wall media coverage for months. The crowning achievement of the Civil Rights Movement is dead. Black people just lost all of their remaining political power in the South. This is a monumental moment in American history that simply isn't being treated as such.

I really wonder what the fallout is going to be because the sanitized version of history they’ve sold for a long time is “Jim Crow was a shameful moment in history but we defeated it and came out the other side a better country” and now it’s just… back it’s the end of a myth in the starkest terms

hey nyc come out tomorrow night to help me celebrate maeve dunigan’s hilarious new book 🍻 withfriends.co/event/279450...

Happy one year of Dad Rock to me and all my friends (you)

‘liquor control systems’ good luck pal i tried those for fifteen years

did you just talk to me like im ugly

managed to have a whole relationship, from initial eye contact to honeymoon phase to ‘dammit he’s been a junkie this whole time huh,’ in the time it took me to walk past a man on the sidewalk

if you hear of my untimely and suspicious death just know that i was definitely murdered by a driver experiencing my pedestrian behavior. moreover that i deserved it

i know this is nobody’s point i’d just like to go on record as saying it would be really good to do an english language Odyssey where all the actors are doing strong greek accents

im watching tv like an old jewish man tn. standing up with my arms crossed. and you really can hear the tv better

watching beyond thunderdome tonight. choices were made with this one huh

this one’s been solved btw only took about 36 hours and benjamin dreyer

i think it’s nice when irish people say Girleen. yall really made the english language your bitch in so many ways nicely done

im not gonna post any pictures of tiny little baby teenage rax on here because i do NOT trust yall to be normal about them but looking at them im always like jesus christ girlypop if you only knew. if you only knew ANYTHING

i think this guy is more or less a true believer in the insane garbage he promotes but none of it even goes together beyond just not being medicine. like did medicine fuck your wife or something

RIP ted turner. i got a buddy claims to have seen the famous and possibly apocryphal video of jane fonda fucking him with a strap-on. says it’s great stuff. this is the most moving tribute i can muster i barely know anything else about him sorry

“Forcing”

you could do whatever this is, or you could read my really good essay about the wolf of wall street in SLOPPY instead 💋 bookshop.org/p/books/slop...

she pulls up to my building in her spotless sea green T-bird. big shades, a scarf around her hair. let’s take a selfie! i squeal loading my nogoodnik husband’s fishing gear into the trunk. we grin for the camera not knowing that this is the trip that will change the trajectory of our lives…forever

watching mad max 2 tonight. lord humungus…hello

oh that’ll do. that’ll do REAL nice

i’ve used the same example but i’ve decided against this rhetorical construction of ‘AI chatbots aren’t sentient just like the stripper doesn’t really like you.’ actually, the stripper COULD like you. it’s unlikely but within the range of normal human responses. the chatbot will NEVER be sentient

Lazslo Cravensworth voice “The PAINTER of LIGHT”

rusty should apologize to geoffrey chaucer for using the english language to compose this sentence

the problem with ninety dollar underwear is that every normal thing you inflict on them in the course of a day is something you’re inflicting on NINETY DOLLAR UNDERWEAR

i bet it gets old fast wearing stuff like this. like damn when is casual friday

my life is actually an extended experiment to determine which medications one can successfully jerk off on

nodding

happy 91st birthday to a great writer and editor 🥲

laughed very hard remembering this

NEW—Video shared w me by a witness shows another angle of NYPD officer throwing a protester to the ground during an anti-ICE protest outside Wyckoff Medical Center in the early hours of Sunday morning + has helped identify the officer. His name is Hubert Mohamed, The Handbasket is first to report:

boot camp for posting. fuckin…drill sergeant yelling drop and gimme twenty hot takes. plus a second joke.

met gala is to posters what new year’s eve is to drunks: amateur night

today is the anniversary of MCA's death, so I wrote a little newsletter about stories of the past. www.anxietyshark.ca/like-an-emce...

obviously this is a bit of an oversimplification but the endgame of reincarnation is to eventually come back as a mischievous cartoon mouse. kinda guy who eats a block of cheese and saunters around all cheese-shaped. torturing the cat and such. spooking the housewife. that’s what it’s all about

little girl trotted up to me ‘excuse me miss!!’ had very little english but pointed out via elaborate hand gestures that i’d lost the elastic off one of my braids. then she took the elastic off one of hers and handed it to me 😭

TODAY: Please welcome MAD MAGAZINE week, piloted by our own @zachrabiroff.com. First up: @annaleen.bsky.social on sicko chaos cartoonist Don Martin. flaminghydra.com/don-martin-m...

it’s so dumb when going in the sun immediately lifts my mood. what am i a damn lizard

We are in the middle of a subscription drive for our new food and culture site. We are worker-owned, have no investors or VC money, and will never use gen AI to make any written, visual or audio work. If that sounds good to you, sign up for a paid subscription or donate today! www.weareravenous.com

So we’re a few days from the end of our subscription drive at @weareravenous.com, and I’m so amazed by the response we’ve gotten. But we’re still a bit far from hitting our goal, so I wanted to talk a bit about why that’s the goal and what we want to do with it 1/

AI is kicking everything that’s good about being a human in the dick and balls, and it’s crucial that young people are equipped to get kicked in the dick and balls. proud to introduce a bipartisan bill to ensure the next generation pivots to getting kicked relentlessly in the dick and balls

Farmers are coded "working class" as rural white people, even though they own their means of production. Meanwhile, I have a PhD and teach at a liberal arts college, so no one will ever call me working class, even though I earn a lot less and depend on wages. It's gendered vibes, all the way down.

This is the Bavarian folk art of Teufelblowen, where the oldest man in the village performs simulated fellatio on an instrument meant to represent Satan’s penis. The sounds it makes are the appeased moans of a satisfied devil.

the Mouse Diet