Claude is down :/ so I’m just running my sink

Made the mistake of drifting into watching "Bohemian Rhapsody", which I imagine is a whimper of a film even if you actually like Queen.

okay now Artemis II is out of range of Earth we can say what we actually think of them

Red Bull is dying, Carabao struggles to be born, now is the time of Monster.

The epitome of "oh you're a people pleaser? name three people who are pleased with you"

Ireland on electoral boundaries.

Bugs Bunny disguised as a sexy lady could get Kash Patel to free every single person in federal custody

Can we discuss how mirena IUDs are over 3 cms wide and inserted without pain relief?

Is this a trap?

It was a revelation when I realised that torturing myself over all the times I have been embarrassing has no impact on how many times I am likely to be embarrassing in the future. Free yourselves. Maybe the fickle hand of embarrassment will chose not to lay its palm upon you tomorrow.

"So, after he rose again, he lived another, like, 40 healthy fruitful more years, yeah?"

I’m not sure how many biscuits it takes to be happy, but so far, it’s not twenty-seven.

"Don't drink, don't smoke, what do ya do?" An obscene amount of Diet Coke, like all of us.

Realer ones remember when they all overlapped with Margaret Thatcher's Deathiversary in 2023

Today I got to see a picture of my little baby nephew devouring his first hot cross bun.

shut up

Talked myself down from my little panic. Pain controlled. Sleeping. Everything's golden.

THE WEEK IN SCOTTISH FOOTBALL PATTER 2025/26: Vol. 32

In front of your father-in-law. Mortifying.

Someone beeped and waved at me earlier and it took me a moment to realise it was the ket guy from up where I used to live who was always listening to subscription-only Athletic podcasts.

Oh my God.

Bet there's been a decent level of "can't even call 'em Easter eggs" discourse there today.

My best ever Easter was when I got a SEGA Game Gear instead of Easter eggs because my dad's mate had a load of nicked ones he needed rid of in a hurry for cheap.

"Alleluia. He is Risen" - your mum when you come downstairs after 10am

Elder Millennial here: we all read our mum's collection of romantic fiction as under 11s. Not because we craved salacious content, but because the internet didn't exist yet and we'd read any old shit lying around through sheer boredom.

Red Bull is dying, Carabao struggles to be born, now is the time of Monster.

I hate every bot I see. From gpa to gpt

They still call him "Dr. Lecter". He's done pretty well not to be struck off.

I've had consistent pain control and two full night's sleep. I bet this is what Heroin's like.

The great thing about the dial-up noise was it really felt like the Internet was trying its hardest for you.

The best Christmas of Richard Keys's life.

When Andre Gray came on I was like "... surely it can't be that homophobe from the olden days?"

Embarrassing to concede via an assist from them frosted tips.

I keep hearing people say that Liam Rosenior is actually a really nice guy, and so was born my meanest ever "let people enjoy things".

Ceci n'est pas une Vale Park

Avenged.

Rich Kunt Father Germany, Lutheran Baptisms, Marriages, and Burials, 1500-1971

You’re telling me these antibiotics are for broads on the spectrum?

I don't even think this is true, but I love that he said it.

I'd go so far as to say most Swedish men have seen each other naked.

Leonardo Di Caprio gives a wonderful performance in Wolf of Wall St. where he plays the role of a man attracted to a woman over the age of 30.

#birdbot

There's no such thing as the Prisoner's Dilemma if you're not a grass.

My very talented friend has a new EP out!!

Blue Moon You saw me standing alone I gestured at my earbuds Pretended to be on the phone Blue Moon You tried to chat anyway I'm sure you're a very nice moon But I've had a really long day Blue Moon I'm sure it does get lonely But maybe a moon club or course? I don't think the answer is me

Advising on the fluoridation of tap water.

Oooh, we saw @misterabk.bsky.social's tour show last night. It was really, really good, and you should definitely catch it!

Saw a insta story of my nephew being born on Good Friday last year and had a five minute panic that I'd been getting his birthday wrong this entire time.