we're all celebrating now but remember we've just released a new substacker and podcaster into the wild

As every year, the winner of the Super Bowl will be determined by which team’s fan base prays most fervently

To watch sport I either have to know everything about it or nothing about it, but find it objectively impressive. The Winter Olympics is serving one of those purposes for me.

There are so many hospitals with norovirus outbreaks at the moment. Please remember to WASH your hands with soap and water. It's a savage illness and hand sanitiser doesn't kill noro.

So far vindicated in my belief that I'll stop treading down the back of my trainers if they fasten with velcro.

Being cooked for when you're feeble is such a tender act

Its wild to see members of the PLP say 'we simply wouldn't have won without McSweeney.' Lads, you were shooting fish in a very small mug. A magic 8 ball could orchestrate a win over 2024's tories. The reason you are facing an existential crisis right now tho is McSweeney.

You never seeing Erling Haaland in a Fair Isle sweater and I think that's a shame.

You can't expect us to believe these men are of the same species.

Funny

I've had a lovely deep, long sleep and Liverpool will not kill my vibe.

Psychiatry appt actually yielded an appropriate amount of rescue medication. Blessed are they. So I've taken one and plan to sleep soundly then haul myself onto the sofa tomorrow to restore my health bar. Any reccs for youtube curios are very welcome. Especially comedy, tech, or medical science.

Is there a good "greatest posts of all time" thread on here yet? I could do with drifting off to sleep ugly laughing.

Thanks for insurance advice, everyone! I really appreciate it. My poor little drenched flat.

I haven't unclenched my jaw since last August.

I've long been a support of Brentford change strips, but I don't care for this one.

Bus driver must be able to veer away from those big curb puddles rather than soaking through a pedestrian, right? That's got to be, at least a little bit, malicious?

Chris came up with the "Flamin Hot" Monster Munch flavour. Many say this could only be created by a man with the deft intellect of a scientist, but the heart of a poet.

This photo is funnier than it has any business being people.com/hairdresser-...

Just another head's up that my twitter account was hacked, so if you're suddenly following someone named "rosemary" with an improbable number of followers for a tesla bot - that's not me.

What in the inconceivable resurgence is this?

Once someone points out that Everton are Pakistan there's no unseeing it.

fuck off, everton.

I love Ian substack. If you'd enjoy an excellent writer exploring non-league football grounds and their environs, plus assorted musings on football, life, and everything, I can recommend it very highly.

Spurs v Man Utd better be funny, I swear to God ...

one of the greatest human triumphs of my lifetime is the relentless, unceasing, heroic effort by DECADES' worth of doctors and scientists to find a cure for a disease much of the world didn't take seriously for years because it predominantly affected a community they thought kinda deserved it

The Epstein files confirming that Robert Maxwell was killed my Mossad having tried to extort a fortune out of them has put a real oldie to rest. Ask your mum, kids.

An attempt to disconnect our gas connection earlier today👇 SSE Airtricity’s AI chatbot is going a little out of scope 😬

Stop saying ‘Fuck Ice’ 👇

The answer is always "enough money" and having the constitution of an overused dish rag means I am unable to work enough hours to make it so.

Westboro Baptist Church tried to make an Anti-Luigi Mangione poster but it just looks like Luigi is threatening billionaires and goes unironically hard af

This would fix me

How are there cats fucking so loudly I can hear them 7 floors up?

Just read that someone had an " Honorary Fellowship of the Royal College of Radiologists", which is funny to me. You can honourarily take x-rays.

Already reposted the quoted post but just started cracking up all over again because I can’t believe we saw a wholesome example of this exact format in the wild

Toppled over on the bus and had to explain to the very nice person who helped me up that "I'm just a faller".

There is an even sadder six-word story.

Laurie Cunningham, Brendon Batson and Cyrille Regis of West Brom with the Three Degrees, 1979.

Turns out the whole global pedo conspiracy that directs the economy and gets to decide how society functions is real, and all we can do is make content about it

Some folks have recently been kind enough to buy me a coffee! You lovely sausages. If YOU want to support your local tit, you can go to www.ko-fi.com/guy and do so! In thanks, you will get either knuckle tattoos, or I'll walk upstairs and give you a definition from my 1920s book of hobo slang!

that process in full

"come over here and say that, ya pommie bastard"

McSweeney stands as a hate figure who you can easily scapegoat for everything Starmer's Labour have fucked up. He's not elected and he hasn't got any media presence that could bite you in the arse. Anyone who knows him, hates him. Failing to sack him is so deeply pathetic that it defies belief.

Uh-oh.

Feel like I'm going mad.

That's right.

We've not had enough stupid discourse on this website. You don't need to wash your back in the shower. A scone is a sandwich. You should eat cup ramen al dente.

"Death Camps for Cutie" ass face