I wrote this pseudonymously in Spring, for my good pal Ian's substack. I think I'm ready to share it under my own name and take ownership of my past. So, here: On being broken and the 2nd hand clothes that helped me stop hiding and start to fight. unexpecteddelirium.substack.com/p/swirlng-in...

What's the going rate in a birthday card for an 11-year-old? They've been getting £10, but I wonder if adolescence knocks it up a bracket to £20?

Don't know if this makes sense to other mental cases, but the monster is neither slain, nor at large. I am cautiously optimistic that it is contained.

Off my sick bed and straight in your ears!

Today, I've had 2 cup noodles and a packet of frazzles, so I'm calling myself "on the mend."

This Sunday in London www.ticketsource.co.uk/whats-on/128...

Didn't a bunch of people who thought they were getting raptured on the stroke of the millennium have their kids adopted and whatnot?

My friend sent her 11-year-old into school covered in mud this morning, despite him telling her he was doing "a thing" that day. Turned out the "thing" was meeting the Royals for BBC North West.

I am a little delicate, so if we could have some delightful, gentle questions, that would be ideal? Unless you wanna test my steel.

Cause of autism? #autism #tylenol

You could tell me this was the writer, the footballer, or the artist who did those big inflatable dogs, and I would 100% believe you.

Recording a podcast tonight, mesdames et messieurs, so if you have any questions then chuck em at us

Bro you can’t give up. You were born in a world that has onions AND garlic. You gotta hang in there it's worth it

Love to hear the views of MAGA parents of under-5s regarding the war on Calpol.

Vinted keeps boosting Christmas jumpers on my homepage, and I'm not sure I like that the algorithm has me down as someone who's into seasonal knitwear.

My brain keeps slotting the name "Ekitike" into the lyrics of "Chiquitita".

As I approach 10 years with Mr. S, I'm trying to think if I've ever committed to anything for that long before. The closest I've got is Dr. Martens and Maldon sea salt.

Fulham v Brentford has got "televised before Christmas" written all over it.

Never fails to astound and delight me that Robbie Earle is a proper celeb a lister to US football fans.

Oh Case-dear-o.

Just noticed I've gained some followers. I'd missed it because I was having a bit of a breakdown for a couple of weeks. In part, quite visibly on here. Anyway, welcome, sickos 😘

It's a very long time since I bought an ironing board, so please reassure me that no one is actually spending fifty quid on one? That's just some goldilocks pricing nonsense, yeah?

Respectfully, if Charlie Kirk taught us anything, it is that this is not true.

I remember watching some terrible pan-pipey prog on a 70s totp with my dad and him saying "do you see why I needed soul?" Now I'm watching a 00s totp with lots of high energy, bippity-boppity pop thinking "do you see why I needed Pulp?

Blue Moon You saw me standing alone I gestured at my earbuds Pretended to be on the phone Blue Moon You tried to chat anyway I'm sure you're a very nice moon But I've had a really long day Blue Moon I'm sure it does get lonely But maybe a moon club or course? I don't think the answer is me

Seeing more and more fash stickers going up around town. Any reccs for particular anti-fash stickers to cover them up with? Yeah, I could just scratch them off, but think of my nails

Tired and sweaty because I've been hard at busy work, rather than tired and sweaty because I am a tired and sweaty person. Chalking it up as a win.

The Tasks are calling us, friends ...

Woken up too early. A functional "off" and "on" switch would perform miracles for human flourishing.

A sizeable cohort of people alive today remember all of the following: before home Internet; before mobile Internet; before social media; before the Premier League; before 9/11; before austerity and the housing crisis; before Covid. Living through any ONE of those transitions would be seismic.

My friend once had a bad allergic reaction to Dr. Pepper, which I guess answers that question ...

GOD I hate takes like this. You really think trauma is a universal human condition? The same as just "bad things happening in the world?" That's the no value in clinical terminology for people who need help, support and treatment beyond what every other literal human on earth needs? Idiotic.

Because I could not stop for Death, I crashed into his sternum; I'm good at making cars go fast, But don't know how to turn 'em

Following a harrowing 10-day Waltzer of panic, I think I may possibly be returning to baseline. My baseline, not a normal person's baseline, so still pretty gruelling, but manageably so.

Just booked my flu and covid vaccines online, so it's that time again if you're eligible. www.nhs.uk/nhs-services...

A smiley emoji tattoo next to your eye means you successfully resuscitated someone.

Admittedly not an expert here but I feel like the answer here might be "yes"

'scuse the absence, friends. Burnt meself out. Contemplating which crackers have the greatest nutritional value.

Mr. S is really good at distinguishing between when I am mentally unwell in a "cuddle would help" way, and a "need low stimulation alone time" way. A vital and unsung quality

The things I might've achieved if I hadn't been insane.

GOOD THREAD but only for people who like to be cheered up and don't just like to feel doom 24/7 coz it makes them feel smarter.

The walk to Cultplex follows the line of the Irk as it flows down towards the Irwell. It takes me past the infernal partially constructed millionaire’s row… (tomorrow’s slums today...) Underhanging river walls - wild fig trees…

The best post about Charlie Kirk happened about half an hour after he was shot and none of us can do anything but aspire.

I'm supposed to be doing fun things with people I love tonight, but unfortunately, I cannot get out of bed, and my brain is made of custard.

There are a thousand reasons why gun control is essential, but an oft-overlooked one is that you cannot refuse a gun sale on the basis that the customer has terrible vibes.

And suddenly, Republicans lost interest in the killer

Nevertheless, she persisted. But that makes it sound substantially more dignified than it was.

Man, it must suck to know your Dad loved Charlie Kirk more than you

One positive is that, as a result of repeatedly painting my nails as a comfort behaviour, I've discovered that Essie Longwear Top Coat is a game-changer.