We have a new number one 1. France 4 England 6

England fans literally going ‘this best England performance in my entire lifetime is TOTALLY unacceptable because I WOULD HAVE DONE BETTER!’ Insane baby-men.

Going back a month and saying that this would happen in the World Cup Final and getting sectioned.

Have we ever watched anything like this before? Just absolutely mental stuff.

That was probably the most ridiculous game of football I've ever watched. France 4 England 6 What the fucking hell was that

Jude Bellingham, man. What a goal.

WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN FRANCE 4 ENGLAND 6

What the fuck do you mean France 4 England 5

It shouldn't count, but this is game of the tournament

"Surely a two goal lead will secure third place for England" says the BBC commentator, who clearly hasn't watched a minute of this game.

Hahaha wahey! France 3 England 5. What the fuck do you mean France 3 England 5

Djed Spence. What a fucking player.

this is brilliant fun. all games should be played with zero sporting stakes but about three centuries of mutual animosity #thefootball

This is a ridiculous game of football. Bellingham dancing through at one end and Olise missing an absolute sitter, all in the space of 30 seconds. Now the ref has cramp

There is literally no non funny outcome at this point, incredible

We'll have a new number one here soon

Hydration break

Djed Spence is absolutely sensational

That kid had the worst fucking haircut I've ever seen. Looked like John Connor's mate in The Terminator

this has the potential to be the funniest half of football of all time, easily beating the current record held by the first half of this same match

Be mad losing this 6-4

Mbappe seeing Deschamps in the tunnel

[10 June 2026] Time traveller: England will be 4-0 at half time versus France during the last weekend of the World Cup Me: HOLY FUCK WE'RE WINNING THE WORLD CU-....Hang on, can be more specific when you say 'weekend'.

This remains true, but it would be hugely embarrassing for France if they get pumped 6 or 7-0 here. If it isn't already embarrassing.

Honestly, he'd have been in a shout for a hat trick already

Hahahahahaha very funny

One more and we keep the Bayeux Tapestry!

England are about to complete their second-best World Cup campaign ever. Time to remind loads of England fans what they said a few days ago.

The alternative reality football is coming home

This is a really funny/fun game of football

When Marcus makes you a special hot chocolate at Christmas

My entire feed right now:

That nutmeg from Rashford was filthy

"Competitive juices" - Danny Murphy

Stephen Warnock wondering why England didn't play like this versus Argentina. Probably because that was a World Cup semi final with enormous pressure and high stakes. This is pretty much an end of season friendly. French players might as well be in flip flops and Hawaiian shirts.

Hydration break

It's coming home!

Kane must be fuming, he could have won the Golden Boot in this game. France couldn't give a fuck.

Top 5 England moments at this World Cup 1. Djed Spence's tackle versus Argentina 2. Bellingham two in two minutes versus Mexico 3. Dan Burn's header to the halfway line versus Mexico 4. Bellingham's second versus Norway 5. Anthony Gordon getting told "Fuck you!" by Javier Aguirre

We need to hold this lead. Get Dan Burn on for Rashford NOW.

Shut Up You Massive Cunt

The People's Final

Can I surprise you? I like the third place play off game

By simpsonsefl on Instagram

Bloody hell, this third place / losers final doesn't kick off til 10?! I think it was 8 and I could legitimately miss it. 10pm though and I can comfortably watch it, for fuck sake.

I will drink heavily and shout at you!

Fuck me, Stoke's away shirt is horrendous. We struggled enough passing to each other last season, do we really need fucking camo? (It's Spitfire inspired, after the inventor Reginald Mitchell was born in Stoke. Lovely. Cool. This is ugly as fuck)

www.maptap.gg July 17 96🔥 98🎯 86🎓 80✨ 78😂 Final score: 840 Siberia can fuck off

Having tea with friends and one of their kids turns to me and says: "Tim, do you ever think about what it's like when you're dead?" Fucking hell mate, I'm trying to eat me tea here.

Falling Down Or Kiss Kiss Bang Bang