Bring it back you cowards @microsoft.com

Really fancy jumping on MSN Messenger for an hour

Oh boy.

I'm sorry I ruined Bluesky everyone.

Wanking outside Boot's due to my men's mental health.

Sure. OR, they should be capable of not wanking outside a fucking Rymans.

This amused me greatly 😂 especially the fox painting 😂 Thank yoooo @cheekybudgie.bsky.social

Feel like it's been ages since Romero did something stupid and get himself sent off.

The bots have opinions.

I love my new hoodie.

Well I don't think that's fine 🤬

Can't wait for It to happen.

Imagine living in a world where this opening end with, "and has issued a full and frank apology" or "and has resigned from office." Oh. It's this world

@tedmaul.bsky.social bloody hell, hello

Compo is filled with jealousy when he spots Nora with a man.

Did someone say beveragino?

Any number between 1 and 295, and get YOUR Last of the Summer Wine synopsis.

LOVE ISNT ALLLLWAYS ON TIME WOAH WOAH WOAH

Tomato soup and a cheese toastie for lunch, lads.

I'm sure he'll do the dignified thing and apologise.

Waiting until your opponent has started their cue forwards while taking a shot on the pub pool table and saying "I've seen these missed" loudly.

Looking around the pub/coffee shop before you slag someone off incase they’ve embedded spies.

Still going. Still half joke answers that are now on @thepokeuk.bsky.social and half incredibly serious replies about colonialism, theft of cultural items, the abuse of the people of Ireland, racism, and transphobia. True "British Value" right there.

Arguing that Yorkshire puddings belong on ALL roast dinners and not just beef.

Sozzled Bonking

“Pffff. Typical.”

Keir Starmer claimed ‘the left’ doesn’t defend core British values, and people have been trying to work out what they are – 37 very convincing suggestions. (H/T @tdward.bsky.social) www.thepoke.com/2026/02/06/s...

Saying "He'll not sell many ice creams going at that speed" every time a siren goes past.

Saying “you been on the Benson & Hedges” to an 8 year old when they have a croaky voice.

Getting livid about people not queuing at the post office, but getting shit gibbon livid by people queuing at the bar in a pub.

Asking “leg or breast?” In a saucy tone when dishing up a Sunday roast.

Saying "YOU'RE VERY WELCOME" after someone doesn't thank you for holding a door open.

Giving it the big ‘uns when someone cuts you up, then looking squarely ahead when they pull up next to you at the next lights

I have literally died defending chippy tea.

Saying “the floor” when you mean “the ground”.

Do you have sugar in your tea? Sweet enough love 😘

WHITE DOG MUCK 🇬🇧

‘Why did you unfollow Wardy?’

Nearly 1,000 followers. At the milestone, that's when I'll show pipe on the timeline.

Drawing a spunking cock with spiky balls on a manky parked van.

I work with a bloke who wrote some automation to scrape the council website for the bin schedule then change the colour of his Hue lights based on which bin needed to go out.

Saying “that’ll be the phone” when the phone rings.

Getting a free Guy Fawkes mask with your new copy of Whizzer & Chips.

Saying "It's really 5 o'clock though" twice a year.

Having little novelty "trapped fingers" on the lip of your car boot

- Queuing - Tutting loudly at people who do not queue correctly - Going fully elbows-out rabid half a second after queue etiquette breaks down

You don't have to play out from the back.

Nectar Points.

Anyone who is slightly longer coming back from somewhere (e.g. pub toilets) than usual must be greeted with ‘The wanderer returns!’