Springtime!

It's 10 years today since Prince died. So a reminder of this, that happened on the other place, because sometimes sadness can still bring laughter.

Shoutout to all my brothers and sisters who never really *got* Geese btw

New life hack: if you want all your meals to taste a bit like a McDonalds cheeseburger, get this bad boy. Life-changing? Not half

Happy Satisfying Madonna Content Saturday to all who celebrate

on the 50th anniversary of the release of The Boys Are Back in Town I'm morally obligated to share my favorite story of all time

Happy #BatAppreciationDay! Check out what your local wildlife rescue centres are doing in your area, bat enthusiasts are often in need of help surveying nearby roosts. and don’t forget to leave your nectar out for Bat santa tonight, only speak in quiet patterns of ticks for the rest of the day 🦇 🌺

Even if you really didn't know Mandelson had failed vetting, you're still putting a dude in an enormous position of power who quite simply has Shit Vibes

*complains about something pretty reasonable, usually about the inherent brokenness of the UK on Threads* Threads: No you are incorrect to complain and it's good that this country is broken actually

yes, you're right, I should be forbidden from using social media

Love that phones have an app on them called "phone". (and also how it's one of my least-used apps)

It's affected writing jobs too. When I was job-hunting last year, most writing jobs had been replaced (or worked in tandem with) being video producers/creators for short-form videos. It's genuinely so weird feeling like your medium has mutated

I don't even really know what makes a good video clip for socials because I don't watch that stuff. I don't like having a stream of faces talking at me, I actively find it stressful. Plus I'm not a performer, I'm not charismatic, it takes a huge effort for me to deliver anything.

30 years ago today, Principal Skinner purchased fast food to disguise as his own cooking at an unforgettable luncheon with Superintendent Chalmers. #TheSimpsons episode “22 Short Films About Springfield” first aired April 14, 1996.

Low key never really understood what the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame is

I'm going to be honest, "The Pope vs. the President" feels like the kind of thing Dan Brown would exclaim as he sits bolt upright, ripped from sleep in the middle of the night.

I had not been aware that Project Hail Mary had my kryptonite in it (a cute little helper space guy) and now I'm a complete emotional wreck

That was Tom from Pappys in the Mastermind sketch right? #SNLuk

I can't believe they did the viral Ian Wright clip, I love that they've made this show for extremely online millennials #SNLuk

Walking into the weekend like

Funnily enough I am also pork pie inspired

I repeat, I am NOT penpals with the Zodiac Killer, and have NEVER spent an entire night inventing cryptographic code symbols, this should clear everything up, thank you for attending my press conference

was that Melania speech one of Iran’s demands

I get the impression Joanna Page does a lot of escape rooms #taskmaster

Genuinely very funny to think of Melania Trump worrying about her reputation

Things that give me the ick 423: people who walk down the street reading a book at the same time. Like congratulations?

Dude in charge of putting together a box of plasters: OK, so let's put in some normal sized plasters but then let's put in these small round ones that do fuck all haha

You know what, that was a great one day of summer. Happy autumn everybody

You know you're smashing it at work when you login to a meeting 1 minute late and someone goes "there she is"

Uh oh, looks like warm weather directly correlates to my mood

Why does this Dutch painting look like every reply guy on the internet

Just catching up on SNL UK and I definitely missed the memo that Kasabian now sound like this

The people in charge of Wireless festival just out-Fyre Festivalled Fyre Festival

I genuinely think being in a beer garden might've solved all of my problems & fears about the world

subscriptions >>> shop.viz.co.uk/viz354bs

Talking of banger tweets

while doing some research I came across the greatest headline I have ever read & I can’t believe I missed this in 2011

Bluetooth headphones are such little dweebs, what do you mean you won't connect to my phone because you've already connected to my laptop like you're best friends??

If I get fooled by a stupid brand April Fool tomorrow I am going to leave Planet Earth

Sunday fear? Why not look up what every contestant from the celebrity edition of Deal or No Deal won

Jamie Dornan's hip balls is the new David Beckham vagina arm and that's why British comedy rocks #SNLuk

That Jools Holland skit on #SNLUK though.

I think “Paddy Young being obsessed with BTS” could be my favourite running joke so far #SNLUK

That Jools Holland sketch was absolutely sensational. #SNLUK

'In Spaaaaaain.' BAFTA. #SNLuk

Thinking of the oven clocks tomorrow #daylightsavings

The wholesome urge to give the taxi a nice little pat after you get out and close the door