AAAAAAAAAHHHHH

Tariff this, tariff that. The only tariff I'm interested in is whenever Lydia Tár riffs in the film Tár

Big comment on the state of the housing market in the UK, this chat #TheTraitors

Jade is so the lo-fi beats girl #TheTraitors

RIP Ellie, we’ll always remember that classic time you - actually wait what did you do #TheTraitors

Not this crying episode #TheTraitors

Can we stop giving that guy Peace Prizes, I worry there's a small risk he'll start getting delusions of grandeur

Why does everyone keep posting pics from Famously Extremely Bad Year, 2016? My camera roll from then is exclusively me screaming

Recent holiday buffet where they had one of the rotating toasters where people would put bread in then wander off to get other foods whilst their toast was cooking, I simply took the toast that arrived before they got back, felt bad the first time.

That was a Lo-Fi Traitors tonight

I think I’d just watch a year long version of The Traitors where it’s just Stephen & Rachel in the turret having a nice chat about murdering random people

It feels like everyone’s got amnesia and forgotten about Rachel’s little bit of FBI training!!!!! #TheTraitors

"Mum I've got a job in #TheTraitors!" "Wow I'll look out for it!" The job:

But what if I were to disguise my weak joke as a Simpsons reference? Ho ho ho, delightfully devilish, millennial man.

Lmao yeah, with caveats more like

Harriet celebrating finding out that Rachel was a traitor.

Stephen is FLOURISHING this episode and I'm so pleased for him #TheTraitors

So like does Harriet understand the Traitors don't actually murder people and this is a game you're supposed to try and win #TheTraitors

"a little bit of FBI training" is so camp to me #TheTraitors

Rachel fruity earrings appreciation post!!!! 🍋🍒 #TheTraitors

James is a bit Threads Reply Guy #TheTraitors

Harriet’s reminding me of Jennifer Connelly at the start of the Labyrinth being high key fantasy pilled and doing her little lines in her cosplay #TheTraitors

Is Harriet ok #TheTraitors

Nobody has ever said ‘pigeons’ so intensely #TheTraitors

Matt is dressing like he’s getting ready to join the Night’s Watch #thetraitors

I would’ve used my meeting with #TheTraitors to ask if they think the Tesco Clubcard prices system is fair bcos it’s a racket and we need the numbers to upend it

lmao you can't buy garlic bread from Greenhalgh's, idiots! This is the worst thing the Daily Mail has ever done

You should be able to search for the nearest Evri shop via location but also via people running the shop that are actually nice

I really need Dry Skin season to end, bored of feeling like a Cadbury’s Flake

Rose Byrne and Daddy Stellan getting Golden Globes is IMPORTANT TO ME

Always a roulette when I go to the dry cleaners/vape shop whether I’m gonna get the normal guy or the guy who has created his own ‘virtual reality experience’

Ahahaha I am so fucked

[horse meeting] We're getting a lot of good feedbag

Hook awards season outfits (and pre-award ceremony dinner party outfits) to my veeeeeeeeeins

Welcome to everyone joining Bluesky from twitter. Someone will be assigned to you to misunderstand one of your jokes and scream at you shortly.

Fiona’s burner phone story felt like a deleted Bryn scene from Gavin & Stacey #TheTraitors

Fiona is genuinely insane isn’t she #TheTraitors

Jessie next week #TheTraitors

The Traitors replying to Matthew #TheTraitors

Congrats Matthew, you have become memorable #TheTraitors

I can see how Rachel’s Head of Comms because I don’t know how you could be calm in front of whatever the hell that was #TheTraitors

Rachel is classy as fuck #TheTraitors

Shetland Tony. King shit #WILTY

Thank you Mel C for wearing a vest and dog collar and introducing me to ‘alternative’ #TOTP

Not to be difficult but I just don’t think David Bowie should be dead, I think they should change that

Told my boyfriend I’d got Gigli pasta and he asked if they were shaped like little Ben Afflecks and Jennifer Lopezes

A billionaire: people don't like my jokes on this micro-blogging social media network :( I simply have no choice but to turn it into a robot that generates child porn