Fucking Sea Lord??

No matter how many adverts for the postcode lottery I see my brain still refuses to comprehend it and just dismisses it as not for me.

Thank you to everyone who has been saying such nice things about my #sgtpepper book. I hope you don't mind but I've edited some of them together here. The book is available now through chrisbarkerprints.co.uk

A friend of mine dated this actor once. We stayed with them in the Hollywood hills. He was pretty cool. He was in Seinfeld, Friends, a Stallone movie, the shit Batman movie, he was almost Dr Who once. Anyway, he just popped up on my telly advertising incontinence pants. Frightened the life outta me.

He most certainly did!

Thank you to everyone who has been saying such nice things about my #sgtpepper book. I hope you don't mind but I've edited some of them together here. The book is available now through chrisbarkerprints.co.uk

Oof

And this one that doesn't really fit the brief but I couldn't stop once I'd thought of it

HE'S BEEN! HE'S BEEN! @christhebarker.bsky.social

This is taking “no spoilers” to extremes…

Delighted to receive @christhebarker.bsky.social's excellent book 'A Decade In The Lives' after backing it on Kickstarter. Great to flick through and reflect on those that have gone and the joy many of these people brought to so many lives. A brilliantly creative project. We loved it. 👏👏👏 #BookSky

I’m watching the 1989 Batman for the first time since it came out (I’d had enormous expectations for it and haven’t been able to since). In the opening scene some crims rob a family, he confronts them, tells them his name and leaves them with their takings? What sort of vigilante behaviour is that?

It’s weird watching new sketch comedy. I feel like I’m out of practice or something.

I've had loads of lovely responses to my Sgt Pepper book, it's very nice to hear. But I realised I didn't put a full comprehensive index in the back. So – because I have a bit of time on my hands – I've created a searchable by name and year index online: sgtpepperindex.lovable.app

I've had loads of lovely responses to my Sgt Pepper book, it's very nice to hear. But I realised I didn't put a full comprehensive index in the back. So – because I have a bit of time on my hands – I've created a searchable by name and year index online: sgtpepperindex.lovable.app

I got sent a message from – seemingly – my superfan saying she had received her copy of my book…

Ladies and gentlemen I am now radioactive.

It's here! @christhebarker.bsky.social

Look, there's the fucking Oxo family now. Thanks Paul, you bastard.

The 'is it a cake?' meme reaches its inevitable conclusion.

This story is art. The pacing of the pictures. The tone of every caption. No notes. www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

@christhebarker.bsky.social it’s arrived!!!

Hang on a minute

If everyone starts doing this you’re not gonna be able to find anything on Google maps any more for ad mascots clogging the place up.

What people don’t realise about the flumps, wombles and those guys in chorlton and the wheelies is they were immortal. They couldn’t die. That’s why their weird humdrum existences seem so strange to us. That’s what you do when you have eternal life, focus on interpersonal relationships and minutiae

Meanwhile in the GOOD news column, my books have arrived which means people should start receiving them too

You know when everyone thinks they are the fist to think of a funny reply? I am having radioactive iodine treatment tomorrow and if one more fucking person says one of the below thinking they are the first to say it I may well eat my own hand off…

Looks like someone had a slight change of heart

I've seen the future lads… www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

All the exciting technological developments of the last fifty years but they haven’t managed to make Starbursts (formerly Opal Fruits) any easier to open have they?

I've seen the future lads… www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

Here we go. It's just gone live. You might have to register, I don't know: www.endsreport.com/article/1952...

Dogglebox? #dogrealityTV

I just watched Predator Badlands (which is very good btw) and I just realised something I should probably have realised years ago about the Weyland corporation from the Alien and later Predator franchises.

Some seriously ridiculous nominative determinism here…

I dreamed that Abba had done a cover of the theme tune to Prisoner Cell Block H and I feel like this is something which should have happened by now.

Never has this felt more appropriate

I had to make this for HortWeek.com and I started off thinking this'll be fun, I'll get loads of footage of discarded plant pots and make it look like a really serious issue. But by the end of it I was thinking, hang on, this IS a really serious issue. Why DON'T councils recycle plastic plant pots??

Over 2 billion dollars a day. www.theguardian.com/world/ng-int...

All this fucking post has done is make Bluesky give me the earworm playlist from hell just before bedtime so thanks for that Bluesky.

Congratulations to Donald J Trump on winning the Africa Cup of Nations

I hope that millionaire handcuffed to that barmaid gave her fifty grand anyway. I don’t really understand what he was doing on there anyway. #handcuffed

Completely forgot I'd made this Hollywood Highway Code 2 years ago. Guess the movies.

Completely forgot I'd made this Hollywood Highway Code 2 years ago. Guess the movies.

"Why isn't NATO dealing with the consequences of my actions?" yells man on golf course.

Any Squaredlers here? Come join us! #squaredle