So the Beeb are showing a Terry & June Xmas episode, but Whatever Happened is on some hick channel at 11pm tomorrow. This country.

I wonder who that could possibly be…?

Thomas Skinner? Thomas Foreskinner, more like.

Get your ears around our lovely comedy show about the very ancient yet very avant-garde in the sanitation department Indus People! Private Poos! Fancy jewellery! An annoying skellington!

Merry Festivus one and all - my pole is up, grievances aired and all set for the Feats Of Strength.

An old TV guide from 1973 has popped up - specifically Celebrity Gogglebox, featuring: Moshe Dayan & Henry Cooper; Henry Kissinger & Magnus Magnusson; Idi Amin & Pat Coombs; Hughie Green & Leeds Utd.

Sadly, Thatcher closed the paper round mines down.

The other thing I can’t be doing with when it comes to festive supermarket food is when they add sweet shit to pork pies “cranberry glaze”. It’s a pork pie you cretins. Add to that the sweetening and boozing up of gravy. Meat juice and Bisto. Stop fannying about with food.

Thinking of making a trifle. However, no sherry - booze with trifle is horrible.

This was today’s main piece:

In hugely ironic news…

Me doing some cricket many, many years ago

It was 40-odd years ago when some idiots and myself from the cricket club played a quick game of cricket on New Years Day in some thick snow. Absolutely bladdered in the bar afterwards. Superb.

Doh! Peter!

Got to the stage where I see blokes 10 years my junior on telly and I turn to @gailmyerscough.co.uk and enquire, “do I look that old?”.

Winter Solstice. County Championship starts tomorrow.

Let's find this lovely boy

Ok, best of seven Australia.

I normally do this on Christmas Eve, it’s the only time I do anything that n my birthday because it’s for such a good cause and with my good friends Mark and Chris (who runs it all behind the scenes) please donate if you can x

Half Ma’am Half Brisket

It’s forever bugging me that people keep getting Tennents Extra and Super mixed up (not in the same glass).

The Christmas Day two hour session at lunch is great. Although where we live (Whalley Range) was a temperance minefield “back in the day”. Meaning it’s a schlepp to the nearest pub. Not even a flat roofer with John Smiths fizzy and warm Fosters.

Best cities in the UK for pubs are London; Liverpool; Glasgow. Not seen Edinburgh out of the Fringe, so not sure. Manchester is definitely punching under its weight I’m afraid, few good uns in the city, and that’s your lot.

Odd Glasgow based dream. Racing to catch my train back, I stopped off in a tasty pub, then end up getting lost and being harassed by a group of Rabs and Jamesie Cotters. I blame woke and @barcajim3.bsky.social

Go and see this ace gent.

A Christmas Carol is on this afternoon - it’s the one where George C Scott plays Scrooge. I like the bit where he slaps Tiny Tim around the face and calls him a “Goddamn coward”.

Happy Advent to you and your kin! And everyone else's kin too, come to that. As every December so far this decade, I'm going to do an Advent Calendar of beautiful and brilliant carols, with each day's added to a YouTube playlist and also to the ongoing Spotify one, now in its sixth(!) year. 👇👇👇👇👇👇👇

It’s the hope… #TheCricket

Cricket highlights when it rains on TNT Sports are abysmal, in that they don’t show highlights of the 1979 Benson & Hedges Cup Final.

Just a few pics from a sold out night two of Nine Lessons. Back today for a sold out matinee and evening show! Here's Stewart Lee, @profaliceroberts.bsky.social, @mamatokus.bsky.social & @kewgardens.bsky.social's Oscar Alejandro Pérez Escobar.

That’s the last Stranglers album I’ll ever buy

Thoroughly enjoyed yesterday’s premiere of ‘All The Presidents Three Days Of The Parallax View’.

As much as I enjoyed hanging around Soho pretending to be a writer, I have to admit places like the French House were full of ponces who hadn’t worked since a Castrol GTX ad in 1973.

The absolute state of these part-time bastards

I think you lot will appreciate this @samwhyte.bsky.social @kellywelles.bsky.social @danwaddell.bsky.social @markgretton.bsky.social @vaun.bsky.social @cheeseford.bsky.social @sarahgailbrand.bsky.social @scriblit.bsky.social @nick-pettigrew.bsky.social @scribblerrob.bsky.social

I can’t believe the person who’d gain most from having their name and picture redacted from some recently released files has had their name and picture redacted from some recently released files.

Jo Cox was murdered before the vote by a far-right terrorist & this is the language this complete disgrace chooses to use

Getting on the Harveys Bristol Cream.

It crops up every Xmas and I always post it, because I love it. Ian Curtis at his office Xmas party.

Email from Morrisons: “Hi Mathew, are you running low on Christmas essentials?” Yeah, I need to over cook more sprouts.

So I’ve noticed the first game of the Six Nations is on a Thursday. What?

CricViz? CricJizz, more like

I prefer the Danish Dept Q.

Scoffing a biscuit selection.

Nothing. Will happen.

GIVE ME A BREAK LINKEDIN

I remember catching a whiff of a Subway for the first time when in the US. A rancid bakers helmet after a 11 hour shift.

Footage of a bunch of old geezers moaning about paying out a load of money to watch England’s cricketers lose. Mate, that’s the game. Oh, and consider it a touch to be able to afford to be there.