YES!

Dear Lord, please save us from entitled blokes who think they know exactly how to fix the England team, if only they were given a shot. Amen. kellywelles101.substack.com/p/world-cup-...

Someone give the @kellywelles.bsky.social bundles of cash to write words about football.

r U aLL gOin bOckspArK 4 tEh gaYmE

Ok, in an attempt to get a hard copy of my article in The Cricketer Magazine I’ve looked in Chorlton, Sale and Wythenshawe. I’ve drawn a total blank. The nearest thing to “Sports & Leeeezure” are body building magazines, World Cup pamphlets and Guns & Ammo Monthly.

Oh look New book

Someone’s playing nosebleed 2000 “boom-boom!”chhhoooonz in their car like I’m impressed.

On this point - the whole goal of The Daily Tism is to be like a paid boot camp / hub for autistic comedy types to bypass a lot of the difficult, stressful early industry navigation stuff. It’s also a place for industry veterans to have some cathartic fun. 1/

The other thing is - how the actual fuck do people afford these prices.

The beautiful profit margin

People @-ing people who then ignore them. Funny.

There’s a certain comedy drama football thing that became nowhere near as good after a couple of series.

We’re doing a show on Puckoon soon. I’d like any memories or moments from the book that particularly resonate with you that we can include. (If you’re like me you discovered it in your dad’s drawer (along with My Secret Life by ‘Walter’) and had never read anything like it before. Or since.)

Just reached the moment where Leon enters proceedings. Curb is superb - it’s about to go to another level.

I can already smell his balls from here

“I can’t believe you forgot the cans” “Sorry m5”

At least England have found a right back.

“Goals change games” - thanks Alan

50p head

Brilliant Socrates finish. Lacking a puff of dust.

Currently a fine time to be a Scotchman.

The keeper’s a clown…

Their winger’s terrible - taking people on, getting to the byline.

“England looked solid to start” - eh…when?

iM gOiN sPoOnZ m5

Which England player am I meant to be annoyed with most.

Besides the odd player, I don’t know enough England players to get annoyed at their selection. I think I stopped getting angry around about Terry Fenwick.

I reckon I’ve had enough of Americans talking about the soccer football.

I reckon I could do the animal voice thing Johnny Morris did in Animal Magic. Piece of piss.

Just thought I’d leave this here

Thank you so much for all of your happy birthday wishes. Honestly, I don’t really feel 100. I feel pretty good. I feel like I’m only 98!

Here is my dad’s Sean Connery joke: “Q: What time does Sean Connery arrive at Wimbledon? A: Sean Connery died on the 31st of October 2020 and is therefore unlikely to attend any future sporting events”.

“We need to invest in our armed forces” “NOT LIKE THAT”

About to watch both penalty shootouts for the first time. I’ve a feeling it won’t be very sad at all.

“Career” = toilet

OH GOD NO!

Well you have to say that was magnificent.

Harking back to Brazil’s Topper kit.

Nikezil, more like. Horrible team.

Oh FFS

Six Tests this year - three in London. Not happy with that.

It’s shite such as this which turns people off sport.

“Bazball dies where it all began” - I like Atherton a lot, but that’s all a bit rubbish.

I think I’ve just turbocharged last night’s Chicken Madras.

‘No 10 North’ sounds like a hipster bar in the Northern Quarter which sells terrible IPA.

She was brilliant.

An absolute stinker of a sporting summer. Doris retiring; a piss-weak World Cup; and of course THE WUN HUNDRED to come. Shocking.

12.12pm and people are just tucking into their packed lunch at the Test. Of course, everyone knows they should’ve eaten it by 10.49am.

It's good to be back.