Anyway, this HMRC email has got off on slightly the wrong foot… “Dear customer” What?

I wonder if Jeff Bezos and Gary Barlow are receiving 11 emails a day from HMRC - I know I am.

Thoroughly enjoying this 7th month of Celebrity Traitors.

Currently printing out last night’s Blue Sky.

Joke repliers assemble.

I support Trump invading his commode

Just to say @cheeseford.bsky.social and I are currently working on our hilarious spoof of the MacFisheries Christmas advert.

Accompanied by the sound of Chris Mason “moaning” and “grunting” before lighting a cigarette.

Eight shops to my right here in Chorlton, four of them chicken shops. Amazing.

Eight shops to my right here in Chorlton, four of them chicken shops. Amazing.

Nothing quite like finding a three hour highlights package of a rare England victory in Australia over on YouTube.

But what about the Mayor of Rock Ridge?

ANNOUNCEMENT! My next novel, The Heist Of Hollow London, will be published by Tor on 30 September 2025. One of the world's largest corporations collapses. During the sale of its assets, five clone workers are bought to steal a large sum of money stashed an obscure facility in a near-abandoned city.

Looking at the iPlayer home page, and I’m reminded that the glorious People Do Nothing’s MC Grindah is one of my favourite characters - absolutely zero redeeming features. A horrible individual.

I’ve just seen a video of someone reacting to the John Lewis ad and I’m not sure what’s the bigger waste of time.

What’s all this about former Vice President Dick Emery dying?

Bowels Set To Be Opened

That US comedian whose podcast features him smoking a cigar, getting pissed and mainly telling Charlie Sheen he’s a “great guy” seems totally obsessed with what he calls a “woke timeline”. He’s a silly man.

I see the iPlayer have invented the genre of “Cosy Crime”. Is that from the perspective of the perpetrator, I wonder?

“LANDS” - because it’s just like winning Euromillions

Just looking at the Barmy Army guide to Australian Test grounds and in describing them the copywriter has managed to limit the use of the word “iconic” to two of them. Amazing.

Imagine spending all that dough and your seat is right next to the Barmy Army. Mate.

So if I had a spare 5-6 grand to spare I could afford a two Ashes Test Match package. Sakes. Who can afford this shit?

£30 a month to watch the Ashes on TNT Sports. Sakes.

🎙️Red Inker Pod Ian Botham as a political figure podfollow.com/redinker

Really enjoying this chest infection and the fact I now sound like someone who smoked Marlboro Red for 73 years whenever I go for a walk #Cough #Hack

Thank you for all your home made spoof John Lewis ads, and related material, I think we’re ok for that now, to such an extent John Lewis haven’t had to produce a 2025 ad.

BECAUSE MONEY

It all went downhill when Thatcher closed down the memory making factories.

This New Yorker documentary about the 1988 UK government ban on broadcasting the voices of Sinn Féin and I.R.A. leaders is pretty good but they show *that clip from The Day Today with no explanation and no indicator that it is satire. www.newyorker.com/video/watch/...

Massive fan of Daisy May Cooper saying they’d do another series of This Country if the money was right “all about the money”. No bullshit.

Horse’s Winklegruben £ 12.99 Brewed In Luton Pilsner £9.50 Cold Gluhwein £8.79 Twats Ten-a-Penny Plus Winter Wonderland Yellow Snow Non-DBS Checked Santa Spiced-Up Elves

They stink of cider piss

I’ve just launched my #Christmas Gift Guide Here’s an offer that might tempt you to have a look www.gailmyerscough.co.uk/christmas-gi...

Had a great gig as TV reviewer for The Lady Magazine earlier this year which I enjoyed immensely. However, this institution first published in 1885 folded suddenly back in the spring just when I was getting into my stride. Never even got paid! Still, if anyone needs a TV reviewer - I’m available!

Woke up earlier with the “bubbly”-sounding HTV ident theme in my head.

Well played India!

I’m off to the local Winter Wonderland with @samwhyte.bsky.social and @kellywelles.bsky.social where I promised them a non-DBS checked Father Christmas, a yellow snowman and spiced-up elves.

“There is no airline-style security at railway stations, and there are very rarely police officers on trains.” - mate, forget about counter-terror security, there was no-one in the ticket office at Didcot Parkway yesterday.

These brilliant Trump memes haven’t got rid of him yet - WHY IS THIS?

Watched Thief for the first time in yonks last night. Proper “hard boiled” thriller.

Something just struck me about Auf Wiedersehen Pet. A totally original prime time drama featuring an unknown cast of working class actors. Because that happens all the time now.

“AI is going to replace you” - it won’t replace my farts.

Dumped Spotify and Paramount today. That’s £26 saved. The temptation to get the cricket is strong, however the feeling in my gut says we’ll get hammered whilst listening to Graeme Swann commentating.

Clinicians will be able to identify female autism in mere seconds by posing one simple question: “Do you have, or have you ever had, an imaginary horse?”

Hello to followers based in the USA and Canada: My last book, #DontStopTheMusic came out there a year ago. It’s an On This Day In Pop History book, with plenty of N American-relevant content. Contact your local bookshop. A perfect birthday or holiday gift!

That’s Spotify fucked off.

The tank is pretty much registering “empty” (on my arse) so I’ve been looking at Universal Credit. The hoop jumping is immense, especially when you’re self-employed.

#FirstLastAnything, my music-based textcast is back next Sunday to hopefully cheer up the dark mornings and offer an alternative to 'current affairs'. Meantime, why not scroll down and sample the archive of 31 conversations I've had with some very special guests here: firstlastanything.co.uk/about/

Take a wild Stab in the dark.