He’s a very naughty boy.

GET BACK TO WORK PEDRO!

Cricket TV things I wish were on YouTube; Phil Edmonds bowling two bouncers in a row and Richie Benaud getting annoyed. Graham Gooch’s bowling impressions in a Test Match. Tony Lewis saying “Fuck sakes” on a live broadcast Simon Hughes getting smacked for six in that Lord’s final

Phil Edmonds not happy.

Last time I saw this quote on social media it was sat next to a picture of Tony Benn smoking a pipe, and attributed to him

When the actual fuck are Labour going to shit or get off the pot regarding Brexit.

The FA Cup Final should be the final game of Association Football of the season. That’s all I have to add.

Not paying people to ring up their own groceries and package them and putting people out of a job #AmazingWork

wErE aN kRisTeAn cUonTry

Need some air fryer linings. Shops in Chorlton sell fried chicken, vapes, mobile phones, over priced property, coffee, food. Nothing else. That’s your lot.

All that pissing and moaning by “bigger clubs” about Blackburn Rovers “buying“ a Premier League seems even more ironic.

The fairytale of a club backed by an oil rich multi-billionaire www.bbc.co.uk/sport/footba...

Watching an old Place In The Sun. A property developer with a million quid to spend - the voiceover keeps banging on about the fact the couple are “workaholics”. How come it’s always entrepreneurs who are called “workaholics”, and not someone holding down three minimum wage jobs.

By the sound of things, an absolute rotter of a game.

I’m in Openshaw. I don’t like Openshaw.

Cup Finals = all dayers. These don’t happen anymore.

Looks like I chose the correct game to miss.

It’s shite.

On our way to a different Morrisons - the excitement is palpable.

The Hun have been trounced.

Now snap your own goalposts

YES!

The fact the Celtic v Hearts game is more appealing to the majority of English football fans is a damning indictment of the people who run the game south of the border.

One of the things I really like about SNL UK is a lack of “Posh is thin/Becks is thick” route one topical gags. I think this is down to a fresh writers room. New voices - spot-on.

If you'd like to be a paid subscriber, you've no idea what a difference it'd currently make. E.g. just ten subscribers paying the price of a coffee once a month would cover my electric bill. No extra content for paid subs - I want to run what Blindboy calls a system based on soundness. Thanks.

My advice to people starting out as comedy writers for radio and telly - nothing about character or story arcs, beats and all that old flannel. Just get on with people and don’t be a twat. Take it from me.

A TV special dressed in a tight, two-piece black leather suit.

Looking forward to Cup Final Big Brother

Andy Burnham looking like an observational comic doing a bit about don’t you really hate it when you realise the toilet roll has just run out www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

Interesting chat in the pub about The Good Life and what a fantastic character Jerry is for rejecting Tom’s offer of a home made parsnip soup in favour of “going to the pub for a ploughman’s”. Jerry will never be bettered.

"One of the best in the business." Sarah Taylor makes history with England Men's appointment | @georgedobell.bsky.social

Tough enough running a small business, but Brexit just added to that struggle. Anyhow, have a look at @gailmyerscough.co.uk’s online shop - so many fab things!

Hello! 👋 I’m Gail, a one woman design studio, based in #Manchester My online shop is full of bold & colourful prints, homewares, T-shirts and stationery. Go on, have a nosy gailmyerscough.co.uk

It is completely mad that we did this to ourselves. Where is the benefit in stopping independent, small, creative businesses from trading in the EU? Oh, and take a look at Gail's designs, they're fab.

Rejoin the EU. Get it done.

I’ll send them a “congratulations” card.

Last push for Manchester Fesshole gig - come to 53two - 7:30pm. I promise good times, well, you'll hear local fesses & learn about the people of Manchester. Got 21 submitted by the audience & normally it'll double that during the show and here are their names TICKETS - sites.google.com/view/fesshole

Bring back the Watney’s Cup www.bbc.co.uk/sport/footba...

Thinking about birds having an app to indenity mammals and it going "human" "human" "dog" "human"

I’m thinking the party who delivered us Liz Truss, Boris Johnson and David Cameron and their pals in the media who were responsible should belt up for a bit.

That thing where you’re abroad and you constantly see a massive poster with someone’s head every day and you don’t know whether it’s a singer or politician.

Woke up slightly wheezing with dry throat - gah! Didn’t open windows.

Look what @gailmyerscough.co.uk got me for our tin (tenth) anniversary (correct bean choice)

The Art Of The Deal? The Art Of The Dildo, more like.

Ten years! Happy anniversary @mjowen174.bsky.social ❤️

Happy 10th Anniversary to the best “The Missus Wife” @gailmyerscough.co.uk a “hubby” could wish for. Here’s a thing I wrote about our amazing day www.theguardian.com/profile/matt...

Must we keep holding our politicians to such impossible standards?

Or “Trimmings”.

hE 8 aN bAcOn sAnWiCH

What’s the collective noun for cyclists ignoring red lights, and nearly running me over?