Not a bad way to start any film

ffantastic

Please quote this with your major interactions with massive celebrities. eg “I was married to the pope for fifteen years”

Please quote this with stories of your minor interactions with non-celebrities, e.g. “I once accidentally bumped into a man in the Wellingborough branch of Holland & Barrett”

I saw Stewart Lee in a small cafe in Camden Town. I saw Stewart Lee in a small cafe in Camden Town. I saw Stewart Lee in a small cafe in Camden Town. I saw Stewart Lee in a small cafe in Camden Town. I saw Stewart Lee in a small cafe in Camden Town. I saw Stewart Lee in a small cafe in Camden Town.

ruin two bands by combining them: the the yes

Saw Roger Allam in John Lewis. Also saw Wayne Sleep in John Lewis. Also saw Tony Adams on John Lewis. Also saw Alec Stewart in John Lewis. Not all at the same time, obviously. That would be weird.

“I was raised to be charming, not sincere.”

Well, what else could we mark on 29 December but the 97th anniversary of the birth of that gift to the world, Bernard Cribbins? (small🧵)

And! I’ve been looking all over for this and finally found it

Just watched the new Knives Out and I think it's really important you know that the scene in the Seminary's Gym is filmed in the same place Rick Astley filmed the music video for Never Gonna Give You Up. I saw the window tracery and immediately made my friends pause the film so I could tell them.

Top Adrian Chiles Columns of 2025: I’ve given up wild swimming. So why does my Volvo smell like mince? Should I tell the postman he has halitosis? My first wife wouldn’t let me wear shorts. I buried my father with my bare hands. It’s time we stopped talking about glamping. 1/3

I’m making some chips with cheese curds, topping them with gravy, placing the whole on a salty cracker, then taking the completed dish to where Harlem flits. Yup, I’m (please do forgive me) poutine on the Ritz.

Albu President’s Men. #EggAMovie

If you like this map you should follow @mattfromlondon.bsky.social as he made it; a detail Mark neglected to highlight.

Yet more excellent work from the unfairly uncredited Matt Brown

A very big shout out to the creator of this map, Matt Brown, not credited in the original post. Oh and I’m very chuffed to be a one time resident of Tooting, alongside the good People of Tota.

I see Mark Chadbourn, who has blocked me for previously pointing out his habit of sharing work uncredited to the original creator, is sharing the old London names map without crediting its creator, Matt Brown bsky.app/profile/levp...

Anyone looking for the full map or wondering who made it, it’s the work of Matt Brown and it’s here. open.substack.com/pub/londonis...

If of dreadful poetry You will never have your fill Pray peruse at your Sunday leisure This thread of indecent poetic pleasure Though mayhap will it make you ill On this day of the Lord It will not make you bored This thread of poetry awful Of which, as I say, you should get an eyeful

I absolutely adore this Pied Wagtail roost in #Bath. It’s mesmerising watching them. And seeing people’s reaction when they realise that they aren’t Christmas decorations 🎄🐦‍⬛

I have nothing of value or interest to say so here is a soft focus kingfisher

Watched England win an #Ashes Test in Australia doing what they used to do that made this all make sense. Would recommend www.espncricinfo.com/story/ashes-...

Happy Podcast Discourse Day, everyone.

Alas! It is 31 years since the world was deprived of one of its more colourful culinary characters: Phyllis Nan Sortain Pechey – better known as double bigamist, child abandoner, amphetamine user, dangerous driver, and celebrity cook Fanny Cradock

With talk about podcasts this morning (to film or not to film), seems the moment to plug my 'textcast' again: #FirstLastAnything, on all types of music, with some very special guests indeed. You read the chat, you listen to the playlists. Archive of 36 episodes here. firstlastanything.co.uk/about

Even though England have won, I’m still convinced they can lose it. #TheCricket

Can’t help but feel Ben Stokes’s internal monologue increasingly includes the words “oh for fuck’s sake I’LL do it” #TheCricket

Well, it’s the day after Wallace and Gromit rode again – and it’s the 31st anniversary of the first appearance of the greatest sound effect in the history of the motion picture, so here’s the story of how (I found out how) they made it...

ugh tinsel sandwiches AGAIN

Well, time for bed. Happy Christmas, all.

I might have guessed the score at 34 for 3 after an hour, but not with Australia batting. #TheCricket

Should probably get the turkey on I suppose

And to Tinny Time, who constantly drank Australian beer but for some reason did NOT die

Well, it’s Christmas Day, so it must be time to talk about Jesus – specifically, about how on this day 1,225 years ago, Charlemagne, who was in Rome to be crowned Carolingian Emperor, presented Pope Leo III with the very holiest of relics: the Foreskin of Our Lord 🧵

Should probably get my Christmas shopping started, I suppose

i post this story every christmas, and will keep doing so until it stops making me cry merry christmas xx

All I want for Christmas is Smew! Thanks to all who bought one of my posters or T-Shirts. You are lovely and I hope you have a wonderful festive time. Ed xx

GEEEEEEEEETTTTTTT DRESSED, you merry gentlemen, let nothing you dismay! For it is Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmas Day! IIIITTTTT’S Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmas Day! It is Chriiii-i-i-i-i-istmas Day Christmas Day! It is Chri-HI-HI-HI-HI-HI-HISTMAS DAY!

And the bottle of port, which did NOT die, but did take several potentially lethal blows to the body

You spectacularly generous people have raised £13k so far. We have a beyond-excited three year old likely to wake us at 5am, so it’s an early night here. I’ll have to catch up with the pix in the morning ♥️ #DuvetKnowItsChristmas www.gofundme.com/f/duvet-know...

This is the 15th year of #DuvetKnowItsChristmas, which is preposterous. Rules: if you find yourself dealing with unusual / claustrophobic / gaudy sleeping arrangements this Christmas Eve, share a picture with the world. Use the hashtag (with capitalisation) and cc me if you can be bothered.

Unbelievably, #DuvetKnowItsChristmas generates such good will on social media that over the years we've raised somewhere approaching a quarter of a million quid for homeless charities. If you can spare a bob or two, sling some to Centrepoint, and here's the link: www.gofundme.com/f/duvet-know...

Chocolate salame as per @nigella.bsky.social. Chickened out on the stringing, but icing sugar and festive adornments have done the trick.

“Pray tell, the Baron, what sort of gentleman is he?” “Well…”

Ah, what could be more redolent of the season than calling “thank you! Happy Christmas!” to the retreating back of an Evri courier?

One of my Christmas Eve traditions is to post this old ghost story of mine. You don't have to read it or anything but you can if you want.

You could argue that the roast potatoes are the most important element to get right at Christmas. Perfect Roast Potatoes create perfect happiness. Which is why they are, indeed, #RecipeOfTheDay! www.nigella.com/recipes/perf...

And Wowbagger The Infinitely Prolonged, who did NOT die

Boom. Fuck you pal. I AM Christmas.