Checking the score obsessively because even though Oxford have survived 45 minutes without, it would seem, having kicked the ball at all, on recent form I wouldn’t be surprised if they conceded three during half time.

I wonder if it’s the same person who scolded me for ending an otherwise poetic musing about being in nature after a period of disability, with something about my mortal dread of being bitten on the cunt by an adder while pissing on a mountain. ANWAY, let us share the Wainwright Prize, you cowards!

Me whenever the ice hockey’s on

I was once berated by a reader because I wrote about two starlings brawling as they fell out of a whizzing fly-by and I had one of them say “clipped my wing you cunt” and apparently by using that word I was besmirching the holy name of Fluffy Nature Writing™. Anyway. bsky.app/profile/eddi...

This is fun. Generate your own xkcd2501. marshdeer.github.io/xkcd2501-gen...

Saturday

ok hear me out. A velodrome with an ice rink in the middle so you can do events like the short track speed skating relay/madison combined #Olympics

Today's amazing bird, seen in the Monteverde Cloud Forest, is the quetzal. It was associated in pre-Columbian civilisations with Quetzalcoatl, the bird-snake god of life, knowledge and the winds. Killing one was forbidden so they were trapped and then released for their tail feathers. #Birds

Thank god I’m not playing the “amplitude” drinking game. #Olympics

Tomorrow’s Winter Olympics highlight promises to be the mass start speed skating. 16 skaters, 16 laps, sprints every four laps, and, according to one competitor, “pushing and pulling not illegal and, you know, kind of encouraged”. Sounds magnificently chaotic.

I suspect there are two aspects to this game: the ability to remember the colour and the ability to work out how to find it with the sliders before the memory of it leaves your head. Anyway, beat me. I’m sure you will. dialed.gg?c=VGVAYW

Not rude things, a thread:

Silly season approacheth. I had a gentle word with someone on our local common on #Dartmoor this morning who was running their dog off the lead near sheep. The dog's interested in its ball, but the sheep don't know that and are panicking. Ewes can abort their lambs if worried, and ground-nesting

Spent most of yesterday editing the second episode of this so while it’s in my head here’s the first.

STONES 🥌 #TheCurling

Wouldn’t mind the ability to mute photographs tbqfhwy. That one in particular.

Has Susie Dent posted a definition of “for the nonce” yet?

Live footage from the skiing

Ok I have far too much to do today to spend more than 2 minutes on this but here’s my political cartoon of the day, please enjoy

Hot as a camel's underpants and twice as sweaty.

ok catch me up who is andrew mountbatten windsor

Timeo techbros et dona ferentes

Class

Love the short track speed skating relay. Hypnotic rhythm, the inactive skaters shadowing their teammates like daemons. #TheOlympics

Ice hockey but they’re all muppets. Curling but they’re all muppets. Snowboard slopestyle but they’re all muppets. Short track speed skating relay. But. They. Are. All. MUPPETS.

Absolutely wild that we can have a thought and write it down and send it out to a bunch of complete strangers and we’ve trained ourselves to think this is normal somehow

“At this stage” – three of the most meaningless words in cricket #TheCricket

Gerard Hoffnung's The Bricklayer's Lament, one of the greatest comic deliveries of all time www.youtube.com/watch?v=zZUJ...

Arcadia. Cor. #Review

It’s the year of the horse and while my instinct is to let all horses run free this is an enjoyable game enclose.horse

Pączkis are critically endangered in the wild, so this photograph is illegal in 138 countries

Pancake expert here. The annual rush to harvest pancakes on a single day has extremely deleterious effects on the local pancake ecosystem. By all means pick a few pancakes for your own use, but please leave some on the bush so that it can recover in its own time.

Can’t believe there’s a special day for banning cake, honestly never heard anything more pathe— ah no wait I see what’s happened sorry everyone

“Lev, we miss you.” a) you’re an underwear company, no you don’t, grow up b) I bought them five days ago. How quickly do you think I get through them?

👇👇👇 👍

Right then. 2026 To Be Read Pile as it stands today. #Booksky #tsundoku #amreading #bookchallenge The top five are finished. Halfway through the sixth. Nine added. Slight rearranging of order

Death. Taxes. Everyone replying ‘nice’ when the piss tank on the ISS is 69% full.

This is brilliant from Italy. #TheCricket

Ban people born in even-numbered years from social media

I have been for blood tests and it was extremely traumatic* so now I get pastries I don’t make the rules *entirely stress-free

Death. Taxes. Everyone replying ‘nice’ when the piss tank on the ISS is 69% full.

*skating happily with the love of your life* “Just gonna pick you up and fling you into the air across the ice” “wait wh—“ “WHEEEEEE YOU’RE FLYING”

EXT: Day. The grave of Noel Edmonds. A figure lies face down in the freshly dug soil, sobbing inconsolably. CAPTION: GREYFRIARS BLOBBY.

We are holding a community repair café to this Friday - Repair your stuff, repair the world - share.google/2Uf0QlgYQgnJ...

shit shit shit does anyone know where I can find 199 chickens this is really urgent

MOOOOOORRREEEE GOOOOOOOLLLDDDD #TheOlympics

Display an album that was important to you when you were nineteen

Me, every four years: wow, [NAME OF WINTER SPORT] is so exciting and cool, I’m definitely going to start following it and become a superfan Also me: *does not follow exciting and cool winter sport*

GOOOOOOOOLLLLLLDDDD #TheOlympics