This week’s kitchen diary… observer.co.uk/style/food/a...

Now over £2000 and steaming towards £3k. Thank you thank you thank you.

"It’s one thing to watch someone destroyed by an enemy. But how much more fascinating to see them destroyed by their friends?" someone finally let me write about The Traitors

Season 2 Celebrity Traitors competitors: Graham Norton Benedict Cumberbatch Alex Horne Claudia Winkelman Toby Jones Mary Earps Ronnie O’Sullivan Victoria Coren Mitchell Stanley Tucci Lily Allen Bob Mortimer Aisling Bea Grace Jones Amol Rajan That lad off YouTube That lass off TikTok Paddington Bear

No way Jackson Lamb’s falling for Alan Carr’s bs for a nanosecond #CelebrityTraitors

Oh FUCK OFF #CelebrityTraitors

Lamb as presenter, every breakfast telling the faithfuls they’re fucking useless now put down that fucking croissant and fuck off #CelebrityTraitors

A List of Things Said to Have Been Ruined by Women 🧵

I’m reading the Slow Horses book, Joe Country, and sorry but all I think of whenever I see the title is Snoopy.

Great to hear that he beat the wrap

Lamb as presenter, every breakfast telling the faithfuls they’re fucking useless now put down that fucking croissant and fuck off #CelebrityTraitors

Now over £2000 and steaming towards £3k. Thank you thank you thank you.

OK hear me out. Celebrity Traitors but with the cast of Slow Horses, all in character.

Nearly at £2000. Thanks to all who have supported, and to all who are about to.

In Icelandic we have 'Ókind' for monster. But the translation is un-sheep. So everything not a sheep is dangerous.

House prices have gone up in the French town of Sauté since it's become gentlyfried.

Some of the best ideas come to you while having a shower or doing the washing-up. But doing both at once doesn’t double the number or quality of ideas. Lesson learned.

Follow Coates for this and other entertaining (though not always poet and wombat related) anniversaries.

THIS IS SO GOOD

Going to put this in front of you quite regularly for a bit, I’m afraid.

I know many of you will already have done something to help the people of Jamaica, but if you felt like helping a specific family, this is the GoFundMe set up by my son’s girlfriend for her relatives, who find themselves in dire straits. Every bit helps, shares appreciated. gofund.me/9b5b74984

Great moon in London right now

Going to put this in front of you quite regularly for a bit, I’m afraid.

You Don’t have To Be Mad To Work Here But No Hang On A Minute

£2 to push it up to £1k on the first day. Anyone got £2?

I know many of you will already have done something to help the people of Jamaica, but if you felt like helping a specific family, this is the GoFundMe set up by my son’s girlfriend for her relatives, who find themselves in dire straits. Every bit helps, shares appreciated. gofund.me/9b5b74984

Just had a bit of a cry and it’s not even my country or city. The power of hope.

I have to admit that, much as I’d like to be, I’m not still standing.

Shostakovich just read your posts

There are five birds with the word "rainbow" in their names. Let's meet them. 🪶

My favourite Bobob Marley sosong.

There’s no screening for ovarian cancer and it’s really difficult to spot: you can’t squidge your ovaries in the shower to check for lumps. Also it’s very good at masquerading at other things, like IBS and diverticulitis. Please take a look at this list of symptoms - and share if you can.

Flamingone.

Is there a crossword person in your life? Would you like to get them a unique gift? PERHAPS FOR CHRISTMAS? Well maybe a bespoke quiz or cryptic crossword would fit the bill, on any theme, of any size, by the author of [counts on fingers] more than 900 published crosswords, i.e. Me. Give me a shout!

"On two occasions I have been asked, 'Pray, Mr. Babbage, if you put into the machine wrong figures, will the right answers come out?'... I am not able rightly to apprehend the kind of confusion of ideas that could provoke such a question." Charles Babbage, inventor of the mechanical computer, 1864

I’m on my nonsense again. This week’s Six Things: – David Sedaris on Comme des Garçons – Ian, an advertisement for excellent ageing – Henson auction and how to make a puppet – memorial benches map – Messenger, a low-key browser game – Anna’s secret garden open.substack.com/pub/levparik...

Dropped my phone again

Look, I’m not saying that this photograph of young Egyptian geese is going to make all your problems go away, but it’s not going to do any harm, is it?

Obligatory Sunday morning repost of small price reduction ending tonight

They missed out Sleve McDichael and Bobson Dugnutt

I’m on my nonsense again. This week’s Six Things: – David Sedaris on Comme des Garçons – Ian, an advertisement for excellent ageing – Henson auction and how to make a puppet – memorial benches map – Messenger, a low-key browser game – Anna’s secret garden open.substack.com/pub/levparik...

In the London version, rat-beans, the hat is replaced by a rat and the leek with a tin of beans

I've been getting back into the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy series after many years, and the most relatable part is how everyday objects like doors and elevators have been imbued with artificial intelligence and it just makes them obnoxious and frustrating to use and everyone hates it.

Obligatory Sunday morning repost of small price reduction ending tonight

That @kirkdalebooks.bsky.social made me do it

My husband @mjowen174.bsky.social is very down. He’s struggling to find any work at the moment. He’s a brilliant writer and has written for Dangermouse, Private Eye and many more… If you need a writer have a look at his website and please repost. www.mathew-owen.co.uk Thank you

For Hallowe’en this year I shall be dressing up as the guy who arrived a day late.

I do apologise.

Thread. A reminder of some of my alltime favourite facts. Starting with...there are no bridges over the river Amazon.