Cohen said: “The itinerary was looking pretty full, to be fair. I’d have had to hang around the venue until about 11pm, which is usually the time I become a depleted husk of a woman. So this has worked out perfectly.”

I love whenever articles like this are all “SEE THE UNREASONABLE ANGRY DEMANDS OF THIS SJW TEACHER” and the teacher’s comment are always “please actually cite sources and try not to call your classmates demonic”

idk not to mention how very nuanced and normal the actual response here was

Jay Chester, 40, can’t believe it’s been so long since you last met up and genuinely intends to remedy the issue – and will spend the next decade genuinely intending to remedy the issue.

Bring your special interests. Bring cool stuff you found on your walk. Bring PJs. Bring happy news. Bring things you’re proud of. Or just sit and listen and be in company. Happy Hour is YOUR time.

I want to go home

This is madness. All books by Normal People and Conversations with Friends author Sally Rooney set to be withdrawn from sale. The 34-year-old Irish author says: “The disappearance of my work from bookshops would mark a truly extreme incursion by the state into the realm of artistic expression.”

Me after saying something vaguely self-esteemy one time: “am I a narcissist?”

Someone tell him if he backs down from this threat he can count it as another war he ended

when people are transphobic your party says nothing when someone points out that transphobia your party says "hey cmon now, leave it out"

Tomorrow evening at 6pm we’re doing Autistic Happy Hour. It’s an hour of show and tell of stuff that’s made us, and you, happy lately. Pure autistic joy! It’s open to paid subscribers at any level. Please come along in whatever capacity you feel comfortable (best PJs forward, people)

Yorp conference doing its best to shut down anyone daring to call a transphobe a transphobe.

This is the same guy who called Hezbollah friends and everyone said that was a meaningless term of politeness but he can’t muster it now can he

We now go live to the brewery for an update on the piss up. Guys - how’s it going?

Some art historian two hundred years from now will stumble on this image and realise how the baseball bat became such a key part of third millennium Catholic iconography.

Pope Steve Harrington

Ah so everyone on Instagram thinks we’re specifically dragging a Love on the Spectrum star I’ve never heard of in my goddamn life

THE DAILY TISM IS HAVING A FIRE sale. 10% off all merch with the code TAKE10 at checkout the-daily-tism.teemill.com 30% off memberships for Tylenol Tier and above! You can gift both of those things so your neurodivergent Christmas presents are sorted! You’re welcome!

Increasingly realising that I can’t talk to people who don’t read the news because my frantic attempts to warn them about everything that’s happening just make me sound insane to them

Hapworth said: “He works in IT, and has a positive-to-neutral relationship with his colleagues. He organises board game nights with his friends of all genders, but makes sure they all leave by 9pm so he can walk his elderly dog. I am so uncomfortable right now.”

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Alma Montague, 37, who exclusively wears luxurious fabrics, deep jewel tones and a permanent knowing twinkle in her eye, reportedly didn’t set out for a career as Merlin with tits, but has admitted that her eccentric dress sense could be “trying to tell me something”. www.patreon.com/posts/143761...

Globalcompanycorp, whose family of brands includes children’s toys, theme parks and ballistic missiles, altruistically gifted seven-year-old Finley Rice the opportunity to inspire an audience of tens of thousands to buy action figures, rollercoaster fastpasses and long-range weaponry.

"Somebody has to tell you!” it exclaimed. “Whenever anything happens in your life, no matter what it is, your face does the same thing: confusion and annoyance. You look like a gerbil who’s trying to solve a quadratic equation.”

This is for all of us who grew up practising facial expressions in the mirror. (The mirror has notes.)

I’ve had “Quiz: do you have echolalia… lalia… lalia” in my notes for months but it’s one joke so every time I’ve tried to write it, it’s been boring.

Bullies: hahaha autism Autistics (reclaiming): hahaha autism Bullies: stop hitting yourselves

Well this just made me sob (in the nice way)

"No! The world needs laughter"

I got this for the “I Overcame My Autism And All I Got Was This Lousy Anxiety Disorder” title, too. Some people are terrible at accepting that some humour is just not for them. It has to be a sin against all autistic people everywhere.

In an octopus’s garden in the shade 🎶🎵

Is it in poor taste to use this particular piece of racial abuse to remind people that you can give us money? It’s not just for me!!

ADHD husband cheerfully asks, 5 seasons and 2 episodes into Stranger Things: “ooooh is Will gay?”

Would love to hear a comic being asked “do you think you were phenomenally lucky to be able to build your reputation during a time that encouraged and rewarded creative freedom? And why do you think that stopped?” And NOT answer “humans outside my core audience started objecting to being bullied.”

thanks @thedailytism.com for giving me the words I've been trying to come up with all my life for my personal development goal: becoming Merlin with tits

Excuse me off to do an ideas session for the magical autistic audio comedy. No reason.

It's the online equivelent of demanding to speak to the manager because of a mild inconvienience.

Hi! I'm someone who has the audacity to be brown and autistic on the Internet, and I wrote this piece because I'm also too audacious to care about whether I make certain people uncomfortable. It's not about you! But if you THINK it's about you, then it most definitely is. Hope this helps!

And it's a bit weird to be like "I was fooled by this once and I want you to stop." Or you can just remember the name of the site and next time you see it you can go "Ah yes this is the autism satire website" and not get cross.

This is my personal favourite piece I’ve written in a very long time. *puts on “personally attacked” t shirt under velvet coat

That's only the second time someone's accused me of bullying because I pointed out racist double standards in the autistic community. Which isn't nearly enough. I need to pump those numbers up!!!

I'd say it's a missed opportunity to sell him a "personally attacked by..." t-shirt, but he probably wouldn't see the joke.

It’s rare that comments make me actually angry but HELL no

Hapworth's autistic sense of justice never strays far from her side, but was suspiciously absent when Hapworth was accused of being racially insensitive, leading many to believe it had wandered off.

Ok the world is shit but it’s cannabis dispensary delivery day, which means the postman is bringing a HUGE parcel of legal weed straight to my door, so swings and roundabouts.

Surely there’s little more dangerous to neurodivergent kids than well-meaning, highly qualified adults armed with acronyms.

[over on X] but when is it WHITE FRIDAY

The discussion on Facebook has moved on to scolding us for existing as a comedy website in the first place

THE DAILY TISM IS HAVING A FIRE sale. 10% off all merch with the code TAKE10 at checkout the-daily-tism.teemill.com 30% off memberships for Tylenol Tier and above! You can gift both of those things so your neurodivergent Christmas presents are sorted! You’re welcome!

An autistic woman has reported a perplexing phenomenon whereby, regardless of venue or cuisine, upon entering a café and waiting to be seated she will always be led to the table closest to amplified sound.