extremely difficult to explain to my offline friends the daily whiplash I recieve on this website by like, having a stranger yell at me over an old joke about eating molten lava only to click on their profile to find they exlusively post about wanting to suck a dog's dick. how did you find me

New CIVIL PENALTY OF UP TO ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS PER CONTAINER OR UP TO TWENTY-FIVE THOUSAND DOLLARS FOR EACH SUCH TENDER OF CONTAINERS dropped.

A long time ago, I worked in New York State politics. I just ran across something I wrote back then referring to Albany as "inside the Sansabeltway."

Pretty sure Honey staged the whole thing, made it look like angels came so he'd never come looking for her.

The next entry in my ongoing series, Faces I Can’t Resist. (I work in an animal hospital and I love your babies.) Kittens in the hospital need a stuffed animal. It’s one of the first things I do when I arrive in the morning, I make sure they all have one.

Turns out, Man isn't the only creature that is aware of its own mortality; Man's just the only creature that's such a drama queen about it.

Can’t believe it’s just the 3rd day of 2026, and I’ve already broken my resolution to not have an addled, corrupt president of my country illegally and unconstitutionally kidnap another foreign head of state to exploit their natural resources and to obtain meme fodder.

British friends, what does "GM" mean in "their eyebrows like GM hedges"? It's in a Mick Herron (non-SH) novel.

Another of the 50+ seniors I could date on new twitter.

No longer putting much effort into maintaining the pretense that they're acting as the government of a country at this point.

Nothing. Nothing stops them. That's the point.

Didn't Fogerty already object to the campaign using it?

indie bank president fringe arms dealer alt Realtor™

How will "Thou Shalt Not" fare against the Bluesky Code?

All right everyone, we gave it our best shot but all we can do now is hope for better things in 2027.

There was a disturbing sound during dinner. Discovered that I'd found the limits of Pyrex while cleaning up later. I'd baked some potatoes earlier, but I've been leaving that dish in the oven while cooking for decades. (Observations about the state of the oven otherwise won't be appreciated.)

[packing for work trip] "Honey, where’s our business ketchup?"

Do you think God’s underlings were all like, fine, let Him focus on the minor details of designing the ark, whatever, that will at least keep Him busy and out of our way while we deal with this super complicated idea of flooding the whole Earth that He just announced without consulting with us.

A lot of people don't know this, but a Bactrian camel is called a "two-hump" camel because it has always been considered the sexiest camel, and you traditionally want to "hump" it twice.

First winter since I started using over-the-ear headphones, and I now understand that they also keep your ears warm.

They're saying this as if helping you to relax and fit in were bad reasons to smoke, rather than a bonus.

I'll tell you this: being the guy who always adds comic grace notes to group songs like "Happy Birthday" is not the path to popularity you'd think it would be.

Fuck this. If I was going to become a better person, I would have become a better person when I was still young enough to have some hope of becoming a better person.

Came across this, so I did a search and found that.

Seven years ago I said this was the way to do it and no one listened. Now I’m thinking ahead about taking matters into my own hands

Faced With Taxes, Billionaires Bump Into Each Other Fleeing Every State In The US For Other States Where They Have A Home

pound for pound this might be the funniest thing ever written

This year, instead of posting a list of all the books I read in 2025, I'm going to be posting a list of all the books I didn't read in 2025, as soon as I finish it.

I remember how when I'd ask my mother if this was going to be the year she took off my hobbles, she'd say, "Good things come to those who wait..." and then she'd stop until I said the rest with her: "...but not to those who masturbate."

Excellent stuff. Read.

There's only one true calculighter

If this book had existed fifty years ago, there'd also be a collection of short stories published in the 80s called Small Bodies of Arbitrary Shapes, about aimless, alienated young people wandering through an uncaring modern landscape, probably Vintage Contemporaries, possibly second person.

Getting older is like being out on the ocean in the Ship of Theseus but then at some point the guys just decided against replacing the decayed parts.

My newest novel, THE SILVER REVOLVER, is a kind of escapism for people who like Reacher, noir films, and modern westerns. Very well reviewed indeed. Paperback or ebook. (Very inexpensive, last I looked, as #ebook. The publisher has its cunning ways.) bookshop.org/beta-search?...

If at any point 2026 says, “hold my beer,” DO NOT DO IT.

Stoked to see this starred review in Kirkus for HOLLYWOODSKI!!! As the founder of TIGER VAN BOOKS, it has been such an honor to publish the great @loubeard.bsky.social and bring his vision of Los Angeles to a wider audience. Thank you to everyone who has supported our independent press.

Merry Christmas! Please enjoy the opening to this Japanese Christmas concert special that I watch every year. As far as I can tell, this has otherwise been scrubbed from the internet

Kurt Busiek and Alex Ross, in homage to Chris Claremont, Dave Cockrum, and Sam Grainger. • Uncanny X-Men 98 (1976) • Marvels: Epilogue (2019) Happy holidays (before you die!!!), Muties!

You better put out I'm telling you why

Are You Dating Me??? Bingo

last christmas you came in my mouth but the very next day you said "i'm not gay"

If they didn't want me to put my baby in it, they shouldn't have put a picture of a kangaroo on it and called it The Pouch.

Starting a cult around the idea adults don't need every twitch of youth culture explained to them. Why are kids moving their hands up and down, saying things that make no sense? Because they're fucking babies. They've just discovered their hands and don't have language yet. Go read a goddamn book.

So I started @hutchinsondave.bsky.social's The Essence feeling slightly aggrieved that it wasn't a Fractured Europe sequel, and now that I've finished it I want a sequel to The Essence—immediately. If you loved Fractured Europe, you'll also love The Essence. oikofuge.com/hutchinson-f...

"This story doesn't need a sandworm" This is almost always wrong. Arguably, EVERY story benefits from adding a huge subterranean worm with quasi-mystical or semi-supernatural powers, or equivalent (similar to Moby Dick). Obviously the bigger the worm, the more literary quality it adds.