Let's kiss in the Corn Palace. We'll explore each other's bodies as if we were shucking a cob of corn.

Alan aka Ralph Malph

It'll be even funnier when Mitch outlives him by a whole assed week.

If for whatever reason you used to be a real piece of shit, and now you look back on that period of your life with regrets, that is good and laudable, and also, there might be some jobs that you shouldn't have. I do not find this to be especially complicated.

one of these days I will catch a Cedar Waxwing having an unphotogenic day but not today, alas

I wish more recipe comments started with telling us what is slowly killing you.

You know what? Fuck composting, there’s a fruit fly frozen in one of the ice cubes but now I can’t find it again.

“What’s your Hate Language?” “Gift-giving.”

Finished my 33rd book of the year. I think I can finally admit that I just am not into magical realism or whatever you call Karen Russell’s latest. It’s not for me.

Hey look, good news!

Greased up and wearing only a banana hammock, today’s the day I find a wife on the bus.

There’s treats inside there and everything is chaos!

My bubby Alan

Just destroyed my back in a plant watering injury.

We have a new, special story to share. Meet Lilly. She was dropped off at a local shelter and had nine (!) babies on 5/27. She is safe in foster care, and will be able to raise her little ones with love and comfort. Welcome to the world, babies. #FosterBunny #RabbitRescue #LillysLoves #ThisIsRescue

Trees are filled with haters

Day 30 of #Coverbirds QUACK magazine publishes an annual Sexiest Duck Alive issue and who else could be on the cover but Ruddy Duck? Any questions? I didn’t think so (1/8) #birds

This might be the worst photo of him I’ve seen.

Very cool house Gift article www.nytimes.com/2026/05/27/r...

considered catching up to him to suggest getting a comma for that phrase, cuz right now he looks like the rapid reponse team for a pussy emergency

Equus II is gonna be trash

more like pal kilmer (from the epstein pov)

Did everyone else know that Val Kilmer was buds with Epstein? Yeesh

This is really weird. www.joemygod.com/2026/06/greg...

Found a friend 🙂

Terry

In general I think I’m a fairly clean person, but then I get a whiff of my wrist when my Apple Watch isn’t on.

One of my sweetest of my sweet boys

Here is a very very very small frog I found.

My favorite lady was outside HEB with crawfish and shrimp today, so obvi added some to this. 🌽🥔🧈🍤 cooking.nytimes.com/recipes/8904...

Bundle of buddies

me, trying to get through a friend’s self-published book

Terry

One of my sweetest of my sweet boys

I mean, true?

Terry

Have a bee sting on the arch of my foot. It’s lowkey destroying my life.

She stuck her tiny paws underneath the door to find the sunflower seeds I thought were safe.

This was good! Added chicken Gift recipe cooking.nytimes.com/recipes/1020...

She stuck her tiny paws underneath the door to find the sunflower seeds I thought were safe.

Men are so embarrassing

For the past few weeks we had so much rain and all I could do was watch out the window, unable to be outside taking pics of the Cedar Waxwings eating the fruit in the serviceberry tree, knowing that when it’s gone, so too will they. Finally, this week we had sunny days and I was able to take pics! 🪶

Alan, the goodtime rat

It’s #PhotoFaikFriday! Pros: Bird is centered and in focus Cons: Bird turned around and started pooping! 🫢😬😅 (White Ibis) #birds #WorstBirdPic 🌿

The lady opposite me on the train was reading this. To be fair she was only on the first chapter.

Buzz is undergoing a factory reset #rats #petrats #ratsofbluesky

Just a casual afternoon sext from *checks notes* James Carville.

Sneaky rat