I had a little edible and then I walked down the street to the neighborhood tiki bar (that’s a thing) and had a little zombie (lol) and now I am laying in bed with Theodore and the room is spinning ever so slightly.

Woke up in my new apartment with the kitties for the first time today, on my 45th birthday. 😌 A happy day for me! 🎉

The movers I hired to pack everything in the house did a fine job, in that nothing got broken. However, to ensure that that was the case, they positively entombed every single thing I own in three layers of bubble wrap, wrapped as tightly as you can possibly imagine in half a roll of packing tape.

This art in the elevator bay of my floor… it’s… It’s a butthole, right?

You mean I have to UNPACK all of this stuff??

Forever amused and disappointed that “College Hunks Hauling Junk” long ago retconned their name to be an acronym standing for “Honest, Uniformed, Nice, Knowledgeable Service.”

Now for the awkward part of the move where I just sort of stand around and make myself available for questions while four men put my every worldly possession into a truck. 🥴😅

I don’t think I have ever needed to use quite so much physical strength to build a piece of furniture from IKEA before, but hey I have a bed again. 😮‍💨

One thing that is certainly easier when you’re not single: buying team lift items, like bed frames and king-size mattress. 😮‍💨

What a good decision I made, going to Costco on a Sunday. 🥴

(Empty) kitchen reveal! 😅

Apparently, I chose to pick up the keys to my new apartment on Puerto Rican festival day in downtown Orlando!! It made parking a lot of fun, but man I love a parade for any reason or no reason. 😂

I had to delete the cute skeet about the cats’ names, it broke containment. 🙃

I pick up my keeeeeys tomoooorrrrrrroooowwwwww 🎶

The mover I have coming to give me an estimate has the most delicious British accent. I just know he’s gonna have like a hump and a hook hand when he shows up, but he SOUNDS gorgeous over the phone.

So for those who weren’t aware — I’ve had a heck of a month. I had some house safety problems, which led to me, my partner, and our two cats living in a variety of hotels since March 31st. A lot happened since then, including my partner of 21 years now being my EX-partner.

I got approoooooved for the apaaaaartmeeeeeeennnnntttttttt ✨

If I hear one more person say “peanut butter spread” in a business context this morning, I’m going to run directly through the wall, leaving a Lawrence-shaped hole in it à la Wile E. Coyote.

Greetings from what is hopefully the last hotel bed I’ll be in for a while. 😜

Put in an application for a killer apartment today, wish me luck…

Maybe I’ll take a pottery class.

I knew I should’ve gotten paneer tikka masala to be safe, but I ordered paneer korma, and the sauce tasted so acrid. 😖

I’m gonna assume the owner of the hair salon I go to is going through some stuff, since “Owner of a Lonely Heart” by Yes has been on repeat for the past 30 minutes. (Also, same, girl).

Hey. So, uh, what did I miss?

Wine drunk at a work gala and a string quartet is playing Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This) SOS

Just delivered a tight, 10 minute training to 1,000 people in a giant ballroom and officially crushed it. 😛🤟🏼

I do love it when hotels have the old school room service breakfast menus that you can fill out with a pen and hang from your door before midnight to have food delivered to you the next morning at the time of your choosing.

If you see this, post your comfort character(s)

Last night in the kitchen section at HomeGoods, an older lady thought she overheard me make a reference to the college her daughter attended. I didn’t, and we had a little laugh about it, but somehow the interaction ended with her saying I look like l could be “involved with the theater or music.”

Mildly obsessed with the Pokémon bandaids I got at Teso Life a few weeks ago. 😭😸🍃

Pondering the orb.

I need a sabbatical.

Finally had a totally valid reason to use an Aretha Franklin “Great gowns, beautiful gowns,” GIF in a Teams meeting, so that’s one (1) good thing that’s happened today.

ME: “Well that edible didn’t do a damn thing.” ME, THREE FULL HOURS LATER:

Quote with your favorite animal Big fan of these shy, anxious, giant house cats who also run faster than the wind.

This is what I look like when I’m waiting for six (6) chocolate chip cookies to bake from frozen in between conference calls on this Monday afternoon.

Logging into Animal Crossing after binging Pokopia 😂😂😂😂 #pokopia #acnh

What’s the perfect gif for your Bluesky persona?

Current status: Playing Pokopia with a little help from one of my own personal Pokémon.

Who was your first porn crush? Show a picture of this guy to an entire generation of gay men coming of age in the 90s, and watch the instant recognition wash over their faces. 😅

The seven questions I consistently ask myself before leaving the house (there’s a real life hack for you here): 1. Where are the cats? 2. Do I have my phone? 3. Do I have my wallet? 4. Do I have my keys? 5. Is it hot? 6. Does it look good? 7. Am I proud to serve it?

I have a sudden and overwhelming urge to play Super Mario Bros. 3.

I desperately need a vacation, and I haven’t taken one since early 2020. I don’t have a cat sitter figured out in this city. I have a team member going on a 6-month maternity leave in mid-April. Oh, like… the burnout is gonna be BURNING with a vengeance very soon… 🙃🥴

Happy Flat Fluff Friday from Theodore. 😌

I remember every word to every song on Sheryl Crow‘s 2006 self titled album, but when I need to memorize a script for a 10 minute long training that I need to deliver in-person to 1000 people in two weeks’ time, my brain utterly useless.

One of these bands is called “HENGE,” and one of these bands is called “King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard.” I’m not gonna tell you which is which, but I WILL tell you that the answer will make you angry if you have any sense at all.

Oh no the edible hit in the cereal aisle.

Happy St. Patrick’s Day to my favorite ginger. 😌☘️