Oh no... 😱

At the

Just nearly passed out holding my breath and thinking about my hog, but it was a good little moment, nonetheless.

Cool, now I’m back to hoarding pasta again, just like during the LAST Trump administration — but this time, it’s for a different and entirely self-inflicted reason, not a global pandemic. Good lord, how utterly stupid this is.

me right before I come:

lol I hate this shit so much, like what is this even supposed to mean.

Happy Sunday from the waiting area of the hair salon where I am always on time and they are consistently running 30 minutes late. 😅

Happy Fluffy Cat Friday from me and Theodore. 😻

Man, I feel like you guys are just making up imaginary pop stars at this point.

😪🎤🎶

Me as a ghost. 👻

Franklin and Theodore have been watching me play Persona 3 Reload this evening. 😌

Give me one good reason why I am building sales decks and briefing cross-functional teams today, when I should be: •driving through mountains and admiring peak foliage •singing around a bonfire •wearing flannel •kissing men •picking apples or some nonsense, I dunno

Finally ordered some of those Awry shorts and underwear you gentlemen have been going on about, so I guess we’ll see if they’re worth the hype. 😅

I keep getting served ads for something called a “Boiled Wool Chore Blazer,” and even disregarding how this garment actually looks, can we all just agree that the NAME is just not selling it?

Franklin is helping while I wait for my beard dye to develop. 😵‍💫😅

The last family to stop by tonight consisted of two young kids and a mom in costume, and an extremely muscular, attractive, shirtless dad. 😳 I was already breaking down some decorations and turning off lights, but I very, VERY quickly said, “You wait right here — I’m gonna go get the bowl. 😏”

Trick-or-treating seems to be winding down, but it was another successful Halloween! My favorite group was the family where everyone — baby to grandparents — was dressed up as a cow. 😅 The most traumatic part of the evening was when a very polite group of teenagers repeatedly called me “sir.” 🥴

I thought my fog machine was malfunctioning as I was getting everything set up for the trick-or-treaters tonight, and boy that’s some panic right there.

The vibe on Bluesky when Halloween falls on a Friday.

A surefire way to get on my bad side is to schedule a meeting with me for 8:30 in the morning, and then — once I have dragged my body out of bed pre-dawn and sat down at my desk a half hour earlier than usual — cancel it at 8:28.

The pumpkins are carved and ready for tomorrrrroooowwwww 🎃🎃

Goodness gracious my friends are so sexy. 😮‍💨

ME: *quietly going about my business on a Thursday morning* MY BRAIN: “Chudai chocolate.”

Godzilla's coming either way. Repost this and he might bring snacks! 🎃🍬 Happy Halloween(Zilla)! #Halloween #Halloween2025 #TinyKaijuDoodle #art #fun #Godzilla

How your email finds me today.

Utterly obbbbssseeeesssssed with this version of Tokyo Daylight from Persona 5, performed by The 8-Bit Big Band. 🃏

Small but mighty. 😤

If anyone asks why I’m so tired tomorrow, I’ll just tell them it’s because of baseball and definitely not because I was playing video games and using various sheet masks and serums until 2:00 AM.

I’ve been seriously loving Persona 3 Reload on my Switch 2 since launch (it’s my first time playing any version of Persona 3 and I’m obsessed). But every review I read is like, “ugh, the frame rate…” Meanwhile I’m over here actually enjoying myself. Remember fun? Games used to be about that. 🤡

When I see that someone has “saved” a thirst trap I’ve posted, I can only assume and hope they’ve done so for the same reason I save my handsome friends’ thirst traps. 😏😅

Cunt Dracula, is that a thing?

With SNAP and WIC on the cusp of being cut off due to the government shutdown, now is as good a time as any to look up a prominent food bank in your city and set up a one-time or recurring donation if you’re able. Over 40MM of our neighbors may be cut off from food assistance within weeks.

I posted this photo for about five minutes last night, but ended up deleting it because I got cold feet. But I’m reposting it now because I’ve honestly never - in my life - felt better about the way I look than I do right now at the age of 44, and I’ve decided to make that everyone’s problem lol.

“Hotel lighting just hits different,” — my dude, you have never stayed at the Hampton Inn in Palm Beach Gardens, Florida. You have never seen so many compact fluorescent lightbulbs tucked into so many odd corners. It’s like the beach that makes you old, but a hotel room.

I just heard a commercial on the radio for an app called “Jackpocket.” Either they knew exactly what they were doing, or they had zero idea what they were doing.

ME: *wakes up feeling disordered* ALSO ME: *has 5 shots of espresso and 2.5 mg of THC*

It’s become increasingly obvious that I will absolutely not be finishing Final Fantasy Tactics before Dragon Quest I & II is released, and I’m also having major Pokémon FOMO right now. Someone please come handle all of my responsibilities for about three weeks, please, so I can catch up. 😅

I was very pleasantly surprised (like… SURPRISED) that even in the great (?) state of Florida, I was able to get a same-day appointment for both a flu shot and a Covid vaccine, with no friction of any kind.

I’m so glad that the “me” of yesterday was kind enough to purchase an almond croissant for the “me” of today.

On a moonlit eve with pumpkins bright, Cats roam with glee on Halloween night! 🎃🐾

HOW DID I NOT KNOW THAT “KIT KAT COUNTS” ARE A THING. 🤩

Who doesn’t love a leisurely lunch break, featuring some banana soft serve with a chocolate shell?

Happy Sunday to you. 🌞

*extreme mouse puppet voice* If I only cOoOuLd, I'd make a deal with God — two avocados for ten bucks 🎶

Modern pop music could learn a thing or two from Amy Grant’s song, “Good for Me,” because not enough songs these days include a killer organ solo 3/4 of the way through.

There’s a weird cover of “Dance Monkey” playing in this salon right now, which raises the question — who heard the original version of that song and thought, “It’s beautiful, it speaks to me, and I need to make it my own?”