what's your sign?

Why are 12 different brands trying to sell me fisherman caps on Instagram.

Always an unusual assortment of things in antique store bathrooms. 🥴

A cute, straight-presenting, dude-bro-guy, pocket-sized pharmacy technician couldn’t stop talking about my eyes this afternoon, and I legitimately think he may have been just dumb and oblivious enough not to realize what he was doing to me. 😮‍💨

The last night of the Central Florida Zoo’s Asian Lantern Festival was awfully chilly, but just as gorgeous as ever!

Plaid pants, Y/N?

If you saw it, no you didn’t!

As far as sea lion content goes, this is as on-brand as it gets for me.

I absolutely didn’t need a new coffee mug, but LOOK AT THIS GUY.

Big thanks to the hot boy working at the Beecher’s grilled cheese stand at EWR Terminal A, because there are few things I enjoy more in this life than being served a delicious grilled cheese sandwich by a hot boy.

Me, too, traffic cone. Me, too.

Just when I thought hotels couldn’t get any more blatantly and obnoxiously cheap, I have encountered my first HOLLOW bar of hand soap at a Hampton Inn. 🙃

You know you’re gonna have an A+ dining experience when the restaurant has these placemats.

Enjoying a little pre-flight cortado, which will almost certainly lead to a little in-fight pee emergency, probably while the seatbelt signs are illuminated. (I am bad at this).

It’s not a circle jerk, it’s a

After weeks of work and waiting, the coffee table I thrifted and restored is finally all done and in my house! 💖

Me when my cats are up to no good:

I wonder if my secret boyfriend will be working the cash register at Panda Express this evening.

You know, its the unpredictability of dosing in gummies that makes them so ∂เⓕ𝔣ⓘⒸυ𝓛𝐓 ｔⓞ ᵐ卂𝓃คĞⒺ.

not my house but i know my way around

The “prosecute the former regime at every level” candidate has my vote in 2028.

Since this is a thing we’re doing!

If brands want to hop on the high-protein train (even though I think it’s a little much), then by all means, go for it. But the level of laziness involved in marketing a “new menu item” that is literally just a paper cup full of unadorned, unaccompanied cubed chicken breast is almost unbelievable.

The first two hours this morning

We are back at it and we are STRUGGLING.

Hey I found you some vintage vinyl at an antique store yesterday.

My brain is definitely being super normal about going back to work tomorrow!

Why does Ellen DeGeneres look so wet in that skin care commercial. Literally looks like she ran through her sprinklers and walked directly inside to film an ad. Also who is buying skincare from Ellen DeGeneres.

I’m gonna need Denmark to extend citizenship to people whose great-grandparents are from there immediately, please and thank you.

Last day of this 😌

Me listening to k.d. lang’s “Constant Craving” in the canned soup aisle at Publix:

When I say that Franklin is my baby, I mean he is my literal child.

Good morning from the waiting room of my smokin’ hot eye doctor’s office. 🤓

I’ve spent this afternoon re-sanding and staining the legs and other assorted business on the underside of this table, because I was unhappy with how the legs were looking and this was the time to fix it. This sets the whole project back by 5-7 days, but it’ll be worth it in the end!

ME: *closes a door for five minutes to iron a shirt* FRANKLIN:

Santa was very good to the boys this year. ☺️🎄

The minor psychosis that is wrapping gifts for my cats on Christmas Eve that I know I’m just going to have to unwrap myself the next morning.

Sitting here grinding in the Dragon Quest 2: HD-2D postgame, and thinking about how amazing is that the developers took one of the objectively worst Dragon Quest games (and I say that as someone with some late 80s childhood nostalgia for it) and made it into one of my favorites. 💖

this is what some of you look like in your chore coats

Jeez I love cute men so much.

When Whoopi Goldberg was asked about marriage and responded, “I don’t want somebody in my house,” I feel like she had the right idea.

I need to live in a place where I can wear cardigans every single day.

Not a single moment of peace (and I wouldn’t have it any other way).

If you see this, post your favorite Final Fantasy character

… in bed. 😏

Me, lightly dehydrated and still laying in bed this morning.

The Community of Tomorrow was looking lovely tonight. 🤩💫

Had a little ✨extra✨ edible and now I’m headed to Epcot. 🤪