The “prosecute the former regime at every level” candidate has my vote in 2028.

Since this is a thing we’re doing!

If brands want to hop on the high-protein train (even though I think it’s a little much), then by all means, go for it. But the level of laziness involved in marketing a “new menu item” that is literally just a paper cup full of unadorned, unaccompanied cubed chicken breast is almost unbelievable.

The first two hours this morning

We are back at it and we are STRUGGLING.

Hey I found you some vintage vinyl at an antique store yesterday.

My brain is definitely being super normal about going back to work tomorrow!

Why does Ellen DeGeneres look so wet in that skin care commercial. Literally looks like she ran through her sprinklers and walked directly inside to film an ad. Also who is buying skincare from Ellen DeGeneres.

I’m gonna need Denmark to extend citizenship to people whose great-grandparents are from there immediately, please and thank you.

Last day of this 😌

Me listening to k.d. lang’s “Constant Craving” in the canned soup aisle at Publix:

When I say that Franklin is my baby, I mean he is my literal child.

Good morning from the waiting room of my smokin’ hot eye doctor’s office. 🤓

I’ve spent this afternoon re-sanding and staining the legs and other assorted business on the underside of this table, because I was unhappy with how the legs were looking and this was the time to fix it. This sets the whole project back by 5-7 days, but it’ll be worth it in the end!

ME: *closes a door for five minutes to iron a shirt* FRANKLIN:

Santa was very good to the boys this year. ☺️🎄

The minor psychosis that is wrapping gifts for my cats on Christmas Eve that I know I’m just going to have to unwrap myself the next morning.

Sitting here grinding in the Dragon Quest 2: HD-2D postgame, and thinking about how amazing is that the developers took one of the objectively worst Dragon Quest games (and I say that as someone with some late 80s childhood nostalgia for it) and made it into one of my favorites. 💖

this is what some of you look like in your chore coats

Jeez I love cute men so much.

When Whoopi Goldberg was asked about marriage and responded, “I don’t want somebody in my house,” I feel like she had the right idea.

I need to live in a place where I can wear cardigans every single day.

Not a single moment of peace (and I wouldn’t have it any other way).

If you see this, post your favorite Final Fantasy character

… in bed. 😏

Me, lightly dehydrated and still laying in bed this morning.

The Community of Tomorrow was looking lovely tonight. 🤩💫

Had a little ✨extra✨ edible and now I’m headed to Epcot. 🤪

Someone just pronounced it “exas-ter-bating” on a 10AM call and I think that’s enough work for today.

I just think that butts

My friends, it is December 17th, we should be eating cookies and assorted dips for every meal, and watching holiday movies, and jacking off with wild abandon - whyyyyy is work

Why am I currently receiving placeholder invitations for meetings set to take place in December of 2027? That is… unhinged.

One more step down! 💪🏼 Now to let this stain cure for an excessive amount of time before I touch up the black feet, tone it, and coat it in lacquer!

Traditional Medicinals Throat GOAT Tea.

Ok, ok, I’ll bite. 🤪

Luigi’s butt 🥹

I spent much of today starting work on refinishing that sweet, sweet Lane Acclaim coffee table I scored at an antique shop a few weeks ago. Just another few days of this and I’ll have something beautiful to put in my living room. 🤪😅

@hylian.bsky.social Iaaaannnn have you heard this?

Looking at this, it’s stunning that I’m not also a furry.

Figured out my outfit to go sell stuff tomorrow. 😛

I’ve seen some creative spellings of my first name at various cafés and restaurants over the years, but I think this one wins.

Do you think Loggins and Messina explored each others’ bodies?

The Christmas decorations are all up and I’m so happy with how everything looks!! 🎄❄️🎅🏼

The man is right.

Ok well here’s my little music thing. 😛🎶🎧

Yesterday I bought an inexpensive vintage coffee table in *rough* shape with the intent of refinishing it, because apparently I have completely lost my mind.

Today is Christmas decorating daaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyy

I don’t think I’ll ever get over the idea of just walking around my house going about my business and randomly running into this perfect little creature, also roaming around the house and going about his own business.