babe who tf is al dente

"select all images that have Bus" motherfucker you tell me!!

"The Irritating Gentleman" by Berthold Woltze (1874): the painting that nailed everyday harassment 150 years ago

I thought vibecoding was when you die in the hospital while a chill song is playing

i just got back from jupiter, and now i'm stupider

is there anything more embarrassing than being a cat

i'm schrodonger show me your kitty

i could never love an unproven spacetime phenomenon

would you still love me if i was a wormhole

Mannequin Skywalker

Maybe I would remember your kid's name if it were more like a pet's name did ya ever think of that

if u guys don't let me do whatever i want there's going to be hell to pay in TWO WEEKS. i'm SERIOUS.

it would be really just splendid if you could bring an end to the cacophony, I'm doing my best to get some relief from all the prenatal fowl vocalizations that plague my thoughts

release it as though it has reached an uncomfortably elevated thermal state

Were it not for the ignominious deeds carried out by the dastardly Cotton Eye Joe, I would be a happily married man lo these many years.

my clothing is overwhelmed by my sexual attractiveness; I am wounded by my own desirability

I say unto thee, I will describe that which I desire, that which I truly, truly desire so say unto me, that which you desire, that which you truly, truly desire I desire, I desire, I desire I desire, truly truly, desire a “zig-a-zig” ah

the state of being evil is known by none other than the man who is evil; also the man who is discontented, posterior to cerulean bulbous oculi

Roughly 50% of a fortnight has transpired.

The infant is blessed with an enlarged buttocks.

I’ve calculated that I like to move it 300% more than you do.

lets over-intellectualize song lyrics. i'll go first: the ambient temperature is rising, i suggest we remove all our garments

she Screech on my Turtle til I Kapowski

extremely bad time for an astronaut to find out he's a werewolf

weird, how can they go “around” the moon when the moon is flat?

i wish there was a reason to build lover jets

u know what teams needs? more minion gifs where the only motion is varying jpg compression artifacts to make it feel alive

I tested positive for the DGAF gene

i like my women like i like my stuffed crust pizza: cheesy

skips easter dinner, probably

adopted a rock today. gonna name it dwayne.

thinking about the ai video of a scuba diver using an electric carpet shampooer to clean algae off a great white shark on the bottom of the ocean and how many people on this site shared it thinking that was a real thing that could have happened.

"houston, we have amore"

The interview was going great until my puppet started screaming

who called it a giraffe and not a throat goat

Nice off is it jerk?

five is the correct number of texts you can send in a row. it's five

[in my space suit during launch] who farted

coming out of my cage and honestly I've been better

[millennial trying to fire a younger coworker] so you lowkey don’t work here anymore, unc

when the moon hits ur eye like a big pizza pie, that’s not orbit

they're going to fuck the moon

“draw me like one of your french girls” “im better at drawing than they are, are you sure?”

[guy who just accidentally invented the wheel] uhhhh, hey guys, you’re gonna wanna see this

a punk cowboy call that alt tex

one time when i was a kid my dad locked me in the closet until i finished a whole pack of smokes to teach me a lesson. and it worked, the gumbo came out fine and i never mistook chirozo for andouille again.

not many people know this but lois lane has a cousin named life in the fast

i’m dr beast and today’s challenge is if u can live 3 more months we’ll take out ur tumor for free

ate a whole pot pie like 3 hours ago and i’m still not high

wouldn’t it be funny if someone went somewhere and told jokes