Merry Christmas here's the cleanest possible explanation of my belief system youtu.be/V_R0aVA2ONI?...

It doesn't come up in the story but Tiny Tim ended up being the first guy who ever died from being hit by a car

a guy who is getting A Christmas Carolled runs into a guy who is getting it's a wonderful lifed and it turns out he's only mean because this guy was never born but now the guy wants to live so he's pissed he spent his last night in this version of his life getting lectured by a bunch of ghosts

The laser cut Jim Henson Studios logo in Muppets Christmas Carol thrilled me as a child. I was like wow the Muppets are such a big deal they let them have access to a laser...I better pay attention

I have the ability to resurrect any dead person but only if they give me sufficient amount of compliments during their life. something to keep in mind

do you think the security guards in charge of making sure people don't suicide at The Vessel think of themselves as a more elite group than the janitors who clean them up or are the janitors kind of chasing them around like DO YOUR JOB MAN

it's crazy to think there used to just be huge monsters absolutely everywhere on earth

something that happens in every episode of Space Sheriff Gavan but that also sounds like the title of an 8 minute song is Don Horror Turns The World On It's Axis

Santa, Baby follow up called Listen, Lady

Star Trek IV most pleasing film ever made minute for minute?

Is it the best headline of all time, yes of course

the original publication of A Christmas Carol was devastating for people with the last name Scrooge

Is Shaq the world's oldest giant

pissed about this movie because Ryan Gosling is playing a guy named Ryland in it which is unacceptable because he literally cannot possibly understand a Ryland's lived experience of constantly explaining that their name is not Ryan

rom drivin his nissan to the church 8 mai tais deep, listening to separate ways on loop, thinking about the voicemail she left him last night, he is basically standing on the gas,

not seeing the new Avatar in theaters because of my strong personal convictions that the evil na'vi should be green

it was so funny when they made the opening credits of The Defenders super long and boring to debut the Skip Intro button

I became a little bit muscular on accident this year and it's really jarring when I look in the mirror naked and I'm like wait why's that a triangle now

God it would suck to get into space and find out we're the only species that does bathrooms. Everybody giggling about how we're shy

Sometimes you don't realize how much you say "ooh la la" till they play your 911 call on the local news

Santa, Baby follow up called Listen, Lady

A problem I'm having lately is I have a version of the Frasier theme stuck in my head where he sings "oh baby I hear the chimes of midnight, this fantasy soon shall end" and because it's not a real song so I can't remember how the rest of it goes, but my brain keeps trying to

oh no Robert Downey Jr's Doctor Doom voice is just his welsh accent from Dolittle

There's an old man on the train watching music videos with no headphones on the train and his phone has a pop socket on the back so he put it on the ground so he has both hands free to roll a huge joint. I hope I know myself as well as he knows himself one day

they're not teaching kids about commas in school anymore. too expensive

I think it's kind of beautiful that this was Rob Reiner's final line on television

Burger King has announced 2025's Emotion of the Year is Slowly Dawning Horror. Not sure how long Burger King's been doing that but congrats to Slowly Dawning Horror

the gross tmz thing is reminding me of when Matthew Perry died and they got pictures of his parents arriving at his house and its just two old people you never saw in your life looking devastated in a car and a very proud "EXCLUSIVE" in the headline. Like wow how'd you get this highly in demand shot

standing outside screaming at the snow to get a job and leave me alone. why can't you be polite like your sister rain and get in and get out

Sonic the hedgehog died this afternoon from an overdose on sex pills

patton oswald is a well known

they're doing a new feature on Instagram where you open the camera and it shows you what you'll look like on the day you die. none of the other features work it's just that one now

I only eat food that looks just like this

Moistmouth Gum: The Gum That FLOODS Your Mouth!

the third season of the Frasier reboot was going to start with an episode written by Kelsey Grammer where he is getting blackmailed by a catfish. it ends with footage of him cranking off being projected into the night sky of Boston. He told Paramount+ he would rather die than compromise his vision

they're cracking down on feeding your dog a beer. they prosecute it the same as treason

frosty snowman came to life because he was full of cigarettes people threw on the ground

Nurses love to complain about my slender, beautiful veins. "Oh I can't find any" maybe when you prove yourself worthy they will reveal themselves

you can attach the world slop to any subject you find annoying or uninteresting. for instance I consider the side of my family I'm estranged from dadslop

I was nominated for a golden globe for "most nutritious flesh"? There aren't any other nominees? Is this...is this when it all finally starts to happen for me?!

I feel very strongly that the newsweek Bisexuality cover should have catapulted these people to international fame and eventually a syndicated action series called The Bisexuals where they travel from town to town fighting crime/solving mysteries/getting into sex farce hijinx

using my one opportunity to travel through time to cuss out the Frasier writers' room for the episode where Niles doesn't believe Daphne about being psychic even though she demonstrates legitimate psychic abilities on multiple occasions

dreaming our futures + embodying our dreams (a live online participatory crip ritual opera for personal + collective dreaming) continues tmrw (sat dec 6 from 3-5pm ET) cozy from your bed (+ over zoom)✨ come shape dreams + realities with us <3 rsvp: www.alexadexa.com/dreamingourfutures

i do not believe in DOCTORS! i do believe in WITCHES hiding inside my CHILDREN

i have given birth to twelve babes NATURALLY and one UNNATURALLY (under a car!!) my kids are all named THOMAS and three of them reached the age of SEVEN

my children drink raw milk straight from the neighbour's dog. they are HEALTHY, HAPPY, MUTE children!

i believe in NATURAL IMMUNITY. my kids get dirty, they get sick, they get EXORCISMS EVERY 18 MONTHS

Everyone everywhere thinks they can just name their streets Broadway like why am I in the dregs of New Jersey on some “Broadway” where the only thing on it is a Wawa with a shattered front door

8 year old kid on Christmas: yayyyyy!!!!!