Hannah 🤮
@krahan31.bsky.social
📤 863
📥 91
📝 618
Barely legal swimsuit model
pinned post!
The thing with those obscure laws like “you can’t shoot a duck on Tuesdays in South Carolina” is you’re just gonna drive it underground
2 months ago
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Nothing that happens in Staten Island is my business
21 days ago
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Decided to start perimenopause for dry January
25 days ago
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I want to work at Chuck E. Cheese but they only allow kids to work there
about 1 month ago
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If I were to get one plastic surgery it would be to make my pussy blue raspberry flavor
about 1 month ago
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Hannah 🤮
drew
about 2 months ago
Ahh, “hot”. The “loud” of temperature
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Taking more than 20 seconds to reply to my text is actually physical abuse
about 2 months ago
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As if life isn’t hard enough, my phone has updated again
about 2 months ago
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Hannah 🤮
punxsutawney fro
about 1 year ago
THERAPIST: you need to get out of your comfort zone ME: my what
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I really hate traveling. The vacation isn’t worth it I spend the week just thinking “soon I will have to go through airport security again.”
about 2 months ago
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Everyone everywhere thinks they can just name their streets Broadway like why am I in the dregs of New Jersey on some “Broadway” where the only thing on it is a Wawa with a shattered front door
about 2 months ago
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Hannah 🤮
Ryland
2 months ago
there should be a kind of medicine snake who bites you and makes you healthier. such an animal would be beloved by all creatures, held as sacred even by predators. also it would have a little pink heart shape on its head I think, for decoration
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Hannah 🤮
Nice Dude (sincere)
over 2 years ago
Boy do I love sex. Really love putting my penis into some *looks at smudged writing on hand* verguba
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kim
about 2 months ago
*getting hit on by someone else’s boyfriend* aww he must smell my boyfriend
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little lamb
about 2 months ago
Eating some solid foods. Newborn babies might want to take note..
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I just turned the volume up on a Wendy’s commercial. I’m not sure if I’m gonna spiral but if I do this’ll be documentation of the moment it started.
2 months ago
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Feels like whoever made my burger loves pickles a weird amount but thinks everyone loves them that much
2 months ago
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Hannah 🤮
little lamb
2 months ago
People are obsessed with food. There’s other stuff to eat you know
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being punished for eating sisyphus style by washing dishes everyday
2 months ago
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Sometimes a man I just met will despise me and I can tell it’s because I did not run up to him and immediately put his penis in my mouth
2 months ago
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The thing with those obscure laws like “you can’t shoot a duck on Tuesdays in South Carolina” is you’re just gonna drive it underground
2 months ago
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I go to the doctor when I feel like being called insane for having physical symptoms
2 months ago
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I was gonna do something tonight but I already did something today so that’s cancelled
2 months ago
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Hannah 🤮
Throwing back ozempic in a shot glass
7 months ago
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I would sleep, but then I wouldn’t be able to spend 9 hours fully concentrating on people who have scorned me
2 months ago
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Calling the Mormon church again to just make sure they’re really for sure about everything
2 months ago
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“take yourself out on a date” No. Cause then I’m gonna feel pressured to have sex with myself later cause I’m paying and then what if I don’t call ever again it’s just a whole mess
3 months ago
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We already have free healthcare just don’t pay your bill
3 months ago
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I got brain damage from having hamster dance stuck in my head too long and that’s why I’m happy now
3 months ago
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Hannah 🤮
Ryland
3 months ago
You could never make I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry these days, not with Kevin James wasting away trapped in my crawlspace. Sometimes I drop a grape down there juuuust far enough he can't get it with his tongue
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Incels hate women because we don’t like them which is like if poor people hated money
4 months ago
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Hannah 🤮
donni saphire
4 months ago
Everyone’s mad at me for being cool and fun and using up the water supply
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It’s ok with me if people wanna make news like I’m not hateful but please just don’t shove it down my throat
4 months ago
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Hannah 🤮
little lamb
5 months ago
My dad used to let me beat the shit out of him if I made honor roll
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Men are so triggering I can’t imagine having one near my daughter
5 months ago
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Public nudity being illegal is so funny “oh no! A butt :(“
5 months ago
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Hannah 🤮
drew
5 months ago
Hypothetically. If my dick and balls switched so it was like one ball two dicks
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Excuse me cunt judge lady can I please call the plaintiff ugly
5 months ago
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I’m selling $400 for $500 DM if interested
6 months ago
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Tag me in your sex tape coward
6 months ago
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Yes this situation is awful! But not to worry, I have gotten very angry about the parts I cannot control so everything should be just fine
6 months ago
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Please don’t show me anything about elephants or whales they are so close to god and I’m too fragile
6 months ago
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Hannah 🤮
punxsutawney fro
6 months ago
REPUBLICAN: omg a gang of youths rode bikes down the street and one did that thing where you go up on just the back tire REPUBLICAN'S WIFE: wheelie REPUBLICAN: i shit you not linda i thought i was done for
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You’re so beautiful! Why is that? What are you hiding?
6 months ago
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Hannah 🤮
mindflakes
6 months ago
If you can drink drinks why can't you food foods? Sorry I know this isn't very good but if I'm not perceived every 3 hours I'll cease to exist
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Hannah 🤮
mindflakes
6 months ago
People often ask me if there's a good reason why I'm sitting in their birdbath, but there almost never is
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“She’s watching my stories I think she likes me” babe, I dropped my phone when I fell asleep on the toilet
6 months ago
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“I’m in love with a stripper” ok well I’m in love with the art of pole so get your poser ass outta here
6 months ago
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Hannah 🤮
drew
6 months ago
If youre getting drug tested but you dont have to pee is it cool to cum in the cup instead of
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One time I posted a joke about how idk what I’m doing ever and my boss saw it and made the entire agency have a meeting about imposter syndrome
6 months ago
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*stabbing him 18 times in the heart* Later at his funeral: it was just horrible his EpiPen didn’t work at all
6 months ago
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