Meet the “Chopped” Avunculoid Who Made Doctors Hoot

I made this to express my feelings

1985: Wow, you’re a regular matroyshka doll of incredible qualities! 2005: You’re like a freaking turducken of awesomeness XD 2025: I asked ChatGPT to summarize my feelings for you. I hope you like it :) “Randy seems to think you have a winning smile, gum disease, hair follicle, and breast.”

Oh, Whatever You've Done, What Of It? Surely Not Anything I Will Dwell On For The Rest Of My— Wait A Second, Didn't You— That's Right, And Then You— Ah, It's All Coming Back To Me In A Rush Now. Oh!! How Could You? How Could You Do That Thing I Know You Did Last Summer?

When The Rain Taps Softly On The Window Like It Does Tonight, I Think Back Fondly On That Summer So Many Years Ago, And Of Course On The Thing I Know You Did

That Thing You Did Last Summer Still Rings In My Mind As From a Bell So Recently Struck

There's No Fucking Way I'll Ever Forget What You Did Last Summer

I Continue To Know What You Did Last Summer

either these pants are a prank, or teens are super into serving gunt

poll: i think it could be cool to have red hair again. should i go red or stay dark brown or another colour altogether????? my fate is in your stupid, stupid, stupid hands

Yes.... ha ha ha.... YES!

we appear to have four competing fascist movements jockeying for control: blood & soil nazism under miller and hegseth, darwinian ecofascism from rfk, technofascism under vance and musk, and one Big Wet Hitler who understands the true animating core of the american volk is a deep love for shopping

honestly jealous of sisyphus bc that mf never wondering what hes supposed to be doing

for once id like to see a Scream movie where everyone involved gets a big room and camps out there with their phones off and visible for like. a week

there are no good fights on bluesky so i've been on reddit being a little bastard. it's not the same

censored again - "somewhere in time 2: somewhere harder"

a friend described this as "working in the guy mines and narrowly survive a mine collapse that reveals a pure gleaming guy vein the size of your arm" and i describe it as being sideswiped on a dark highway by a car going 120 w/ no one in it and a bumper sticker that says "PUSSY AVOIDANT" on the back

did joyce carol oates or shirley jackson write the handmaid tale? poll open no third option Send Post

Just wanted you guys to see “Riding in a golf cart fatly”

i just watched The Dreadful and i can see why a lot of people didn't like it, but i loved it. five stars no notes

i get more followers when i don't post. it's called soft power

Women do not realize that when they send me messages like this it gives me an erection and makes my job of driving the bus very difficult

wife chasing me around the kitchen table with a rolling pin because she found me in the epstein files being a Mossad Operative

Donald Trump due to your erratic behaviour and actions I believe you may be suffering from undiagnosed adhd and/or imposter syndrome. Please watch Bo Burnman "Inside" immediately !!!!!!!!

husband and i have spent the last few days cleaning the place for a flat inspection and i come back here to???? what is happening. there's a new cartoon everyone likes. i don't get anything else that's going on

happy 51st birthday GamemasterAnthony

Went to the zoo and saw a gawping teen walk up to the giraffe habitat and loudly ask “are those GIRAFFES?!” Yeah man

Im envisioning the variety of women who will romance me, their various Ethnicities, etc, when the Dark Net Injectables make me 1 inch taller

i think i might be "unc". i am terrified of being "chopped"

do i understand correctly that a couple days ago the president in some kind of fugue state hallucinated the idea that he was sending a hospital ship to greenland to treat an outbreak of some invented plague, and the governor of some state was like yes sir i am proud to be on this voyage with you

i dropped out of seminary & survived decades of conversion therapy. you cannot kink shame me in a way that matters.

✊✊

"Makin' online jokes done lost it's flavor," he spit into the dying fire. "I think I'm quit." "Maybe it's quit a' you," answered a voice from deep within him. "Maybe" he replied, chewing the last of his beans. In the distance some coyotes gibbered. Almost like laughter. "Maybe"

Believe it or not, sex... that's the kind of shit that will make me straight up O. — excerpt from 𝑇ℎ𝑒 𝑉𝑖𝑟𝑔𝑖𝑛'𝑠 𝐷𝑒𝑐𝑒𝑖𝑡

this is one of the top all time posts on r/funnytweets. no, the other one

"Professor White Boy " has perished. They found him self harmed at the bottom of an elevator shaft. Thanks for the fucking smiles, Professor

nz primary school teachers are assigning recorder homework to encourage everyone to put pressure on the government. it is absolutely worth your time to scroll down and watch the video www.makeitstop.co.nz

i went to visit friends on saturday and slept for four days. what's up how you all doing

slow boiling troll gets people mad about ai art to engage with the concept of right wing caveman times and nature's aristocrats and first artists, wild animals. i wish i had the energy to troll this hard www.reddit.com/r/confidentl...

somebody give 17 more dollars pls, if somebody could

what the hell kind of unmedicated grownup can eat grapefruit

Doctor: You're not Pagliacci are you? Patient: Yes I am Doctor: FUCK there goes my idea

if your uncle jack was having trouble getting off a horse would you help your uncle masturbate the horse to completion. wait, sorry. let me start over. so say your uncle is jacking off a horse

In New Zealand, Tig Ol Biddy is just what you call your neighbor (Because she's an old biddy and her name is Tig).

got a guy to photoshop my dad and my husband's dad hanging out with their arms around each others shoulders as a symbol of families uniting. i don't know why he gave both dads huge bouncing breasts, but i already paid for all these frames so get ready walls

Was it their moms

my "I ❤️ GATEKEEPING" shirt has people asking questions that they frankly would never even understand the answers to

if i could use a hundred dollars to do a stupid thing, that thing would be getting baddie lashes. those dumb feathery eyelashes that look so stupid and i 100 per cent want to have