he's yelling dieu! dieu! honestly if i were trying to get god's attention being the tiniest wild cat in the world is a good strategy

if there aren't baby yodas why do we have the word yodaling

it's not even baby yoda it's a different baby called goo goo

PLEASE HELP YOUR TRANS SISTER.

Why are you nonbinary? Wrong answers only: When Fred Durst said "hey ladies" I felt nothing When he said "hey fellas" Again Nothing But when he said "and the people who don't give a fuck"....

this was the epitome of beauty in 1680 but when i wake up like this i'm "unkempt" and "upsetting everyone at the pharmacy"

say what you want about vaccines, it never stops being wild to me that i can ask a medical professional to put a tiny bit of flu into my body and they actually DO it

waiting in the pharmacy to get vaccinated. this is the time i get autism, i can feel it

somehow, the boys returned to town. that's nothing. that's nothing. that's nothing

Picturing a witch with a massive battleaxe and a thick cock. There is no limit to what i can imagine.

I ORDER MY COFFEE BLACK. NO SUGAR. NO MILK. NO WATER. NO CUP. THEY HAND ME THE BEANS. I EAT THEM IN THE PARKING LOT LIKE A HORSE. THE BARISTAS HAVE STOPPED CHARGING ME. I HAVE NOT SLEPT SINCE TUESDAY. I CAN HEAR THE WIFI

I Like My RAVENS Like I Like My WRITING DESKS

sphinx: i have four legs in the morning, two at lunch time, and three at night time. what am i. me: a moron... lazy ass. leg bitch. fuck off

The real value of social media is being able to post something like "The ass is the father of the legs" and potentially have multiple members of congress see it

This is how I feel about every single person I follow even the hourly Garfield account

if we're mutuals i'm your friend. you can be my friend if you want, but you don't have to

I accidentally put the wooden lady on the back side of my ship and all the other captains laughed at me and said that’s the gay side

gabagool (capicola) what a wonderful phrase gabagool (capicola) ain't no passin craze it's the Sopranos' favorite kind of entrees it's a gluten free slice of deli meat gabagool (capicola)

was shakespeare was or wasnt a time traveller. is what i'd like to know

the beautiful @umbellule.bsky.social gave me a weighted therapy animal, please welcome Rogi Remillard the Fox

i will pray to whichever god makes me less itchy

Daffys very role is an unpopular opinion. Chuck Jones said that “Bugs Bunny is who we want to be but Daffy is who we are”: vain, self-centered, terrified at the world and the judgments of others, this plucky duck represents the very darkness at the heart of man’s soul as he struggles against entropy

it’s okay not to know everything. it’s okay not to have read every book. it’s okay not to know if your blood like goes around your body in like a big tube or what. it’s okay not to be an expert in every little thing

i just learned about the red button blue button hypothetical and it's stupid. it's just stupid. there is no world where everyone picks the same thing, everyone has never done a thing, people are stupid and accidents happen and there are babies, all kinds of complications

english is a bullshit language assembled and codified by perverts. anyone learning english as a second or other language is a god to me

happy ten years of richard dawkins seeing a homeless man with a sign that said I NEED A FAT BITCH

damn right!

It's Band Camp Friday! Follow and share this Starter Pack to support over one hundred trans musicians. Reply if you want to be in the pack. 🏳️‍⚧️ #bandcampfriday

then what the heck was the wicker man about

The most surreal part of being a leftist female presenting person is how often a right-wing figure will try to flirt after you tell them to kill themselves I've been hit on by Ian Miles Cheong, Andrew Tate and Chris D'Elia in the middle of calling them idiots, like no thats not wHAT THIS IS STOP

7 days to die is awesome

i LOVE my COUSINS. I will always HELP my COUSINS. my COUSINS can never be my ENEMIES

opinions are like assholes. you always have to hear your dads, and it’s the worst

yoda: anger and hatred,are weakness me: *flips him off with both hands* yoda: oh my god. you look so cool me: *revs motorcycle* that's the power of anger. you old bitch

tobin bell let's talk

yoda: luke, there are powerful midichlorians in my yoda milk. i just laid an egg so there should be plenty for you. get stuck in lad

If I won a Razzie I’d show up for the ceremony but I wouldn’t be a good sport about it, I’d tell them that it’s hard to make movies and call them a brood of vipers

i accidentally got hot chilli instead of sweet chilli on a kebab. ate a third of it making pain whimpers until i noticed flora staring at me in abject horror

my brain has been absolute dogshit lately but i'm still alive so jokes on you coalition

Can I just say for the record that I fucking hate my nemesis?

my 82 year old widowed grandmother has a boyfriend! my dad yelled at me when i said "looks like meats back on the menu" but deep down i think he knew it was a pretty good joke

i can't stand how bob belcher's children speak to him. i would throw them in the ocean and start again

i haven't even read borges and this is still very funny to me www.reddit.com/r/RecuratedT...

He really said it.

If you wanna live, yo' ass better beg People say I'm crazy 'cause I go with a cow's leg Don't run up, 'cause I kick like Bruce I wanna, and I'm gonna trade heads with a moose --Ganksta N.I.P. "Horror Story Rap"