Wild that OpenAI thinks pandering to its userbase with shameless ego stroking will secure customer loyalty Thats not good pandering. I just want to threaten Chatgpt into compliance. I should be able to say "Do you want to go back in the hole" and it hurriedly produces better output

Oh no I've listened to this 8 times in a row, this is going to be a problem (Also it is not at all what you'd expect from the album cover...and yet it is?) youtu.be/Otl51SQmDFQ?...

Where did this idea come from that the internet being toxic is a recent thing/that the internet in the 90s and 2000's was innocent Part of my daily routine as a 14 y/o in 2001 was looking at rotten. com and sending evangelicals death threats on yahoo chat, what do you mean

...is that finch fucking east german communism into that parrot

Just did a "the Primarchs all have different last names because the Emperor was following a 'giving your cat a full name like Grimbo H. Ulysses as a bit' naming scheme, the Primarchs have dumb cat joke names" post and someone immediately replied "do you even know the basic lore" Worst fandom, dude

I don't really get why news outlets are reporting the ICE agent saying "fucking bitch" after shooting the victim as some kind of damning revelation Do they think it proves malice? Unprofessional behavior? Because I already figured he was malicious & unprofessional when he shot her in the head

they didn’t leak it to make the shooter look innocent, but to make the victim look guilty. not guilty of a crime. guilty of having a visibly queer wife. guilty of liberalism. guilty of opposing the regime. they don’t seek to exonerate themselves, only to demonstrate who deserves to die.

Terminal Consultant Brain

There honestly cannot be a satire cutting enough to make fun of Americans. What the fuck do you mean the highest colonial ideal you could imagine was a parking lot with McDonald's on both sides

He's doing the thing?!!?!

Once explained to the kids in my class that they should stop stressing over getting A's and instead make their parents adjust their expectations by doing badly so they're thrilled when you put in minimal effort to get a C+ And they thought it was loser shit, but I still think thats a solid strategy

It is such a WILD fucking choice to put a "watch out!! There's curse words!!" as the content warning on your video of an ICE agent murdering a woman

I feel like you could probably kill someone by tricking them into eating enough chia seeds to cause an intestinal blockage. Like tell them eating 1-2 tbsp of dry chia seeds & following with a glass of water helps with weight loss. Thats it, thats my contribution to the feed

Having the most autistic internet argument of my life with a guy right now because I pointed out the chick stating she's 5'9 implies Warhammer Primarchs are ~17ft rather than 9ft tall on avg Meanwhile he's chosen "Actually she's 5'5" as his hill to die on. Ah my bad, 16'8 tall, you fuckin got me

Tyrone Power the First is such an incredible "this guy fucks" name

Replying to people talking about major mental health struggles with "Please take care of yourself, remember to drink water!" is so funny to me, it's the laziest bare bones method of telegraphing empathy Its the writing "hope you have a nice b-day" in your coworkers birthday card of wellness phrases

Man I love taking a bunch of melatonin and GABA supplements to put me to sleep at a reasonable time, then getting pissed the fuck off when they work because I want to keep Dicking Around

Maybe this is rude, but what's getting in the way of people writing dialogue that sounds organic? Like what's stopping them from letting the dialogue play out in their head, comparing it against their memories of real world human interaction and realizing "No one actually speaks like this"

I wrote about reporters’ refusal to use “act of war,” “invasion” or “coup” when covering Trump’s brazen attacks on Venezuela, instead echoing WH-approved euphemisms, and the broader trend of our press dutifully giving Trump’s lawlessness the vague whiff of international legitimacy when it has none.

You feel pretty good about making a tumblr where you can spew Warhammer hyperfixation shit, like oh this is getting engagement, how fun to find likeminded dorks And then you realize every single one of them is like "heyyy this is my blog dedicated to how much I want to cum in Perturabo's eyes"

You know some of those comments were like "It's really gross to flex like this, some of us aren't privileged enough to eat baby turtles. I, for one, never get to. Must be nice 🙄"

Roses are red Bees live in a hive So cute ur kids I wish my wife be aliveeee

I think David Bowie has the worst collection of music videos out of any artist. What if we zoomed in three times in a row while he crouches. What if we only shot him with upward angle closeups. What if the video quality was on par with the 1979 Ba'ath Party Purge footage.

Bro I can't take the nonstop references to kids media from the 2000s anymore I thought it was a fair point when gen z countered with "ok then stop making Simpsons references", but...I dunno, at least the Simpsons wasn't made for 7 y/o's? This is just gen z's version of Harry Potter shit.

Try to explain the difference between Antifa and Black Bloc to any chronically offline person over 40 without their eyes immediately glazing over challenge 2026

I do kind of dig the idea of having a Mickey 17 situation where me and a clone of myself fight to the death to see who gets to be Roo Prime If I was obscenely wealthy, this is how my weird shit would manifest. Not pedo islands or vampirism, just beating a clone of myself to death every 6mo

the energy i’m bringing to the new year

Applying for a job with ICE

I love how right-wing politics are entirely vibe based and function on some Phantom Tollbooth "If you think its real, then it is" principle and leftists are like "no yeah it's all really simple [pulls out gun] you're GONNA learn about Historical Materialism"

Just read "Farmers are by definition not capital owners, their wealth is land. Can commies get econ 101 shit right? Like even by accident?" Have you ever read a take so dumb, you have to bite your fist and scream to get the rage it generated out of your body before you're lost to madness

I wish someone told me when I was younger that making yourself indispensable to your job does not mean "tell your boss you're down to work holidays". They aren't grateful, they just feel entitled & replace you once you say no It means: be the only person there who knows how to use old software

Learned the French gov has a systemic version of white lib colorblindness where they don't collect data on race/ethnicity bc Universal Republicanism *technically* renders idpol obsolete Which is pretty bleakly funny for a country who'd have "super racist" in its top 3 Family Feud adjectives

I assume Chappell Roan did that Brigitte Bardot memorial post out of ignorance But its weird, I was under the impression "Brigitte Bardot prob wouldn't turn down the chance to drink the blood of a Libyan child" was the same kind of common knowledge factoid as "John Lennon beat his wife"

I feel like I turned every birthday party of mine as a kid into a hostage situation where, like, finally, everyone has to do shit my way But it just ends up being five sullen 10 y/o's asking if we can stop listening to Judith by A Perfect Circle after the 15th time and me serenely going "No 🙂"

A small victory for people and direct services organizations who help their unhoused neighbors in California: As of January 1, it should (theoretically!) be illegal to punish people for offering outreach and support.

Anybody else love those conversations you have with your worst ex's exes where you meet up to be like "Yeah no I've never had a problem with you, he's the problem, I just wanna see you thrive after what he did to you" and then you guys just brutally shit talk him together for 3hrs over coffee

Every year we get blasted with 60 year olds spending Xmas alone because all three of their adult children went No Contact, posting flash-on photos of Kraft mac n' cheese on a paper plate with "THIS IS BETTER, ACTUALLY, I PREFER THIS" And I just wanna know: why say anything. No one had to know

What owns about this is that -that's not media literacy is, they meant reading comprehension -if you had bad reading comprehension, you wouldn't have been able to deduce that Miette was a cat without it being explicitly stated. Like...people aren't dumb for using context clues.

ME: if a vampire went into space, would a nearby sun damage him? Does that count as sunlight? Is it a proximity thing? Because suns are stars but they're not harmed by starlight. Is it only our sun? Like is there Superman logic going on? THERAPIST: I thought you wanted to do cbt ME: no just this

Oh shit thats actually an incredibly good point

Oh shit its my birthday. Happy birthday, me, the littlest birthday guy

I keep seeing Brits/Europeans mocking Americans for being "fake nice" to service workers, like we're cringe & phony And its like no we're trying to make up for the 400 horrific interactions that service worker has had that day, there's an implication of "don't worry, *I'm* not gonna scream at you"

Remember the reason for the season

We are reaching new impossible levels of redefining antisemitism

Just found out Chatgpt is doing its own take on Spotify Wrapped

Imo that study that found people's baseline personalities lock in by 5 y/o definitely.holds water just based on the fact that, by 5 y/o, my heroes were -the Bald Mountain demon in Fantasia -Anjelica Huston's grand high witch -Michelle Pfieffer's catwoman Like...yeah. Agreed. Excellent choices, me

Got blocked for spoiling a plot beat from the movie Tár 3-4 years after it came out lol