Insomnia can gargle my BALLS

If you dont know how to ask "can i kiss you" without looking cheesy or killing the mood or whatever I dont even know what to tell you.

Considering doing my first adventure to Seattle tonight on a whim cos I wanna ✨️dance✨️ for some reason but also I'm like Physically pretty tired. Even if my brain is still going. But that would also guarantee I sleep real good right? But also that's A Drive and Parking and I can't drink Ugh idk

imagine no longer 💕💁🏼‍♀️

2 hrs sleep One red bull Pissed off the moment I clocked in cos graveyard might have fucked us on a time limit job I WARNED THEM ABOUT. I. Do not!!! Like being Angry. At people I like!!! But I TOLD YALL I TOLD YALL

I don't think the Batfarm has a horse yet!

i have a fat brain and a fat ass

It's National Anime Day. FINALLY @jiraiyasslampiece.bsky.social can talk about some anime.

Wild that Altman is being sued by his sister for repeated sexual abuse and that doesn’t come up in basically every conversation about him. I get that it’s alleged but if that shit was happening to someone else I feel like that would come up, particularly if that person had a history of lying a lot.

Worth the risk tonight

Considering risking the bar just for a hug from literally one person. Any person who I can pretend in that moment loves me. That's fucking sad.

Do you ever hurt your own feelings thinking about how goofy and silly Chester Bennington and Robin Williams were, how hard they tried to connect with people in the face of their pain and mental illness And feeling the same way knowing where they ended up I won't even lie It's fucking terrifying

I am 35 years old and wonder once a week when I'll stop crying over Chester Bennington

My mom sent that fuckaas text last week, hasn't spoken to me since, and somewhere in that time, blocked me on tiktok I feel both validated and relieved that I'm not the one being fucking batshit right now

Weekends are for makeup

🤡

Shonen is for girls and shoujo is for boys THE FIGHTING ANIMES ARE FOR THE GIRLS AND THE (hetero) ROMANCE ANIMES ARE FOR THE BOYS

there's a lot of terrible stuff going on right now but don't think that means it's okay to not use alt text, you are still not being the person mr rogers believed you capable of being when you refuse. please be a helper thank you

Bout to feel like Rock Lee in the Chunin exams when I rip off this double stack of lashes

off leash boyfriend owners are extremely irresponsible. what if he bites someone or shits on the sidewalk

I have my gross hair slicked back, bareface and spent too much of the last 3 days crying But one of my favorite coworkers told me I'm so pretty, so, it's all good

"If it's not for me, then why is it me-shaped?"

one weird thing about this era is I worry about climate change less because it's getting far easier to imagine very immediate man-made sabotage that could undo civilization in the next, like, 24 months

every night I like to play a game called How Many Sad Things Will Make Me Cry Tonight. I win every time

"bluesky will never be twitter" that's because bluesky is tumblr, idiot

The only way I can get through most days with an intact spirit

dudes will quote post you without considering the fact you can do it back and then start malding once they realize your followers are meaner. looking forward to a screenshot thread about online bullying in the bsky echo chamber

writing an e-mail and getting a prompt from AI "this sentence could be more concise" no. i am verbose. i am loquacious. i am long-winded and often redundant even. you machine, do not tell me how to form my words

I'm this close to just sending her the foulest "well, fuck me, I guess" text I can concoct because that shit ruined my whole goddamn night and now even the idea of trying to settle back into sleep is pissing me all the way off

The way my son contentedly settles into my side when I snatch him and squish him against me is just Mmm The good shit Little dude just says "oh time to eep? Bet" and 💤

This is that one Cis White Gay author when he sees another queer in the wild

"You should have thought of that before you had sex" And more things parents say I think should disqualify them from parenthood ....I'm watching The Pitt

I cast SHUT *UP* MOM, SILENCE FROM YOUUUU because of that fuckaas text message I received from her as I'm laying down for a nap

I'm so sorry I keep asking for help. I have moving expenses coming up really soon with bills and food that keep emptying out my account and I've been sick and stressed because of it all. I'm literally over $2000 short. even if you can just lighten the load with $5, please help me or commission me

Stunned, I tell you

To the man whose first picture on tinder is him in a banana hammock: Why

Just discovered Rita Moreno was the voice of Carmen Sandiego 😭😭 my CHILDHOOD (I'm watching Oz)

sorry to this fry

yeah it was worth it

She left her agent because he was in the Epstein files, and just like that, there’s a bot-driven smear campaign. You fell for it with Amber Heard and Blake Lively, stop fucking falling for it.

bluesky is and has always been a posting retirement home for elder millennials

"I am a respectability gay, I will hold this position right up until the very second things start to affect me personally."

Brain stop doing that thing You know what I mean

Despite what some adults seem to think, teenagers are fully human.

Depluralize a movie. The Lost Boy

it also has this one

The only place lil man wants to be

I love how @jiraiyasslampiece.bsky.social and I will randomly strike up a conversation with each other in the middle of the night about Old People Sex.

"Let the old people fuck" - @lem0nb0iii.bsky.social