[flour marketing meeting] let’s put it all over the outside of the package

they should make a phone that wails whenever you pick it up just massive howls when you check it liquid thatpours out

whenever I think there might be an earthquake I start recording video on my phone just in case

apps are pretty great if you want computer for your phone anyone else noticing this

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again whatever the moon is paying its pr team it should be doubled

what a lot of newer bluesky users don’t understand is that this website used to be 10-25x hornier

what a lot of newer bluesky users don’t understand is that this website used to be 10-25x hornier

in Wu-Tang’s protect ya neck when GZA says 𝙁𝙞𝙧𝙨𝙩 𝙤𝙛 𝙖𝙡𝙡, 𝙬𝙝𝙤'𝙨 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝘼&𝙍? 𝘼 𝙢𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙩𝙖𝙞𝙣 𝙘𝙡𝙞𝙢𝙗𝙚𝙧 𝙬𝙝𝙤 𝙥𝙡𝙖𝙮𝙨 𝙖𝙣 𝙚𝙡𝙚𝙘𝙩𝙧𝙞𝙘 𝙜𝙪𝙞𝙩𝙖𝙧? that wasn’t very nice

has anyone actually checked to see if the mods are asleep?

if I don’t mark every post I see with a like I’ll start reading them again without realizing I already saw that

society should have a “d.ly” button and if enough people retweet her idea they have to do it

every seat in a movie theater should have an "I have to pee" button and if enough people press it they should be able to pause the movie

in Wu-Tang’s protect ya neck when GZA says 𝙁𝙞𝙧𝙨𝙩 𝙤𝙛 𝙖𝙡𝙡, 𝙬𝙝𝙤'𝙨 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝘼&𝙍? 𝘼 𝙢𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙩𝙖𝙞𝙣 𝙘𝙡𝙞𝙢𝙗𝙚𝙧 𝙬𝙝𝙤 𝙥𝙡𝙖𝙮𝙨 𝙖𝙣 𝙚𝙡𝙚𝙘𝙩𝙧𝙞𝙘 𝙜𝙪𝙞𝙩𝙖𝙧? that wasn’t very nice

please accept this mossy embrace to make the first Moss Monday of 2026 slightly better

bro did you seriously not heed the teachings of yore

please accept this mossy embrace to make the first Moss Monday of 2026 slightly better

it’s a pretty big monday tomorrow so I’ll try to rustle up a bit of moss

hey girl are you a dot matrix printer Because you were loud as shit and I haven’t seen you in 30 years

If she’s your girl then why is she leaving crop circles at my nana’s farm?

if that’s your girl then why is she heading toward us after we red rover called her over?

lying on the couch sexting with my girl while I dump goldfish crackers into my mouth straight from the bag

hey girl are you a nasty ass bitch because thats a lot of beans

you’re in her DMs I am having sex with her, thus demonstrating I understand this joke format perfectly

when we were kids there were two shows: flintstones and jetsons they were exactly the same but one was in the past and one in the future

This article is about kir (Poster). For other kirs by the same title, please see kir (disambiguation).

remember if the cabin suddenly depressurizes you have to hamburger help yourself before you can hamburger help anyone in the seat next to you

at my funeral I want them to do the thing where a bunch of turkeys walk in a circle around my corpse

i need like 10 or 12 turkeys…however many are needed for a convincing circle formation and it’s kind of an emergency

GI Joe is short for gastrointestinal Joseph

My sister-in-law works at the midnight oil factory — yeah she says it’s the same stuff as the regular oil comes out of the same vat and everything

Almost like the FIFA peace prize meant nothing

every phone should be limited to 3 apps

planting bluesky seeds (a post) so bluesky plants can grow (6 likes)

whatever happened to that woman who was butt mogging those zoomers

they’re saying it’s buckle the fuck up january

truer now than the day LL posted this

kind of a classic spider move is to live under your window sill for like a year and poop all those tiny white spots on the floor below and leave a few dried bug carcasses around then shrivel up and die there surrounded in dusty webs

Once I go see those white cliffs in southeast England it’s Dover for you bitches

every phone should be limited to 3 apps

who up not revealing they zombie bite

wearing a ring on my finger so beautiful women know I’m already married (to the game)

planting bluesky seeds (a post) so bluesky plants can grow (6 likes)

2 non 2 chalant

big wind: ooooowhooooo tiny navigator tucked into my shirt pocket whose charts just got blown away by the big wind: ₘᵧ ꜀ₕₐᵣₜₛ!

im so fucking chalant right now. maxchalant even

they’re saying it’s buckle the fuck up january

it’s actually pretty bad, Charlie Brown. they’re going to straight up murder you and drag your corpse through the street

who up squinting into the foggy horizon as they beautiful siren song grows louder

increasing taxes for billionaires isn’t remotely radical enough for the problems they’re causing

using my time machine to go back and convince hitler’s mom to name him chad instead so nobody would be called that today