her: can you hurry the fuck up we’re going to be late me: im coming chill out [posts “mad libs is short for mad liberals” on blue sky and then immediately checks to see if it gets any likes or reposts]

who up jacking to the Iowa memorial for the war of the rebellion 1861-65

who up jacking to the Iowa memorial for the war of the rebellion 1861-65

if you didn’t take tylenol because the president of the united states repeatedly told you not to you may be entitled to compensation

trumps people probably bought the kimmel dip and they’re selling now. It’s all part of their plan

noticed one of my cherubs' stream was weak and told him he should get screened for prostate cancer. turns out he's got it, stage 3. had to let him go though, unfortunately. there's no room on this fountain for dribbly pissers

legend has it if you sit very still and listen closely you can still hear him reposting his down with the sickness ooh wah ah ah ah post

her: can you hurry the fuck up we’re going to be late me: im coming chill out [posts “mad libs is short for mad liberals” on blue sky and then immediately checks to see if it gets any likes or reposts]

mad libs is short for mad liberals

legend has it if you sit very still and listen closely you can still hear him reposting his down with the sickness ooh wah ah ah ah post

this rapture could've been an email

This Rapture could’ve been an email

pfft this rapture could’ve been an email

this rapture could have been an email

This Rapture could have been an email

This rapture could have been an email.

r u guys getting raptured rn im not feeling anything yet

r u guys getting raptured rn im not feeling anything yet

if I get raptured im going to need you to take care of the orange box in the lower left cupboard in my kitchen it’s important

Moss Monday is back in the alpine this week. But you can find moss anywhere tbh

I’ve seen how liquidy these babies can get and you wouldn’t even believe it

Tony Hawk pro skater 2 is short for Anthony Hawk Professional Skateboarder the Second

I’m hoping the fireworks at my funeral are way better than that. Lazy ass monochromatic shit if you ask me

I have to be invited in to enter a home. not a vampire (I swear) but it just seems polite

🚨 Moss Monday 🚨 If you’ve got moss, post moss.

happy Moss Monday, bitches

Let’s get a little moss going around here for Moss Monday

Moss Monday is already upon us. If you have any moss, now would be the appropriate time to post it.

Got this too

amazing stuff happening for Moss Monday this week

are you a bad enough dude to allow yourself to be vulnerable and post some of the moss you’ve got stashed in your camera roll?

Moss Monday is back in the alpine this week. But you can find moss anywhere tbh

Who wants to buy a cops gun? I haven’t got any yet, but I see them all over the place

i went out to get smokes and when i got home all my kids were gone?!

republicans wouldn’t do nearly as well electorally if people knew they were responsible for at least a couple of the dash lights that are illuminated in your car democrats need to stay on this

the best revenge is living an active lifestyle and using PAUL MITCHELL Platinum Plus Deep Violet Shampoo Add to Wish List SKU: 298012124

few dare to ask,

everyone’s got that one homie who carries a special coin in his pocket that he can flip to determine your fate

tapping the sign, clearing throat, etc

ok I downloaded the new bluesky update. You can all start liking my posts and reposting them again now ✌️

small account handcrafted artisanal skeets

might get baked again later

FUCK IT!!!!! TIMELINE CLEANSE!!!!! ROLL THE CLIP!!!!!!

the best revenge is living an active lifestyle and using PAUL MITCHELL Platinum Plus Deep Violet Shampoo Add to Wish List SKU: 298012124

i got stung by a fucking bee yesterday this isn’t a joke post

republicans wouldn’t do nearly as well electorally if people knew they were responsible for at least a couple of the dash lights that are illuminated in your car democrats need to stay on this

building a new disney within the shell of the old

So smash patties are just thin-ass burgs and everyone is just fine with it?!!

I never did find this smh