office work should be seasonal so we can retreat to the country for half of each year

one time when I was in university studying in the library there was a little hole in the drywall with an arrow that said “in here” and I looked in the hole and there was a folded up piece of paper that said “in here” and when I unfolded the paper a bunch of pubes fell out and it said “pubes”

office work should be seasonal so we can retreat to the country for half of each year

who up squinting into the foggy horizon as they beautiful siren song grows louder

me and my buddies would have steered the ship into the rocks when we heard that sweet siren song i can tell you that much

if I like your post it’s because I definitely understand it

I can tell if your heart isn’t pure, if your spirit isn’t calm. Basically everyone here knows. We can all tell.

me: nobody remembers your flops so basically just keep posting therapist: mmhm me: therapist: right. you said your mother had “the poster’s spirit” what did you mean by that

The forbidden confetti

there should be a move in chess called Big Rock that takes three of your opponent’s pieces

hey fellas we should do 2007 fashion again

im so logged on right now

say “hi rogs 👋” below if you’ve seen rogs on here

one time when I was in university studying in the library there was a little hole in the drywall with an arrow that said “in here” and I looked in the hole and there was a folded up piece of paper that said “in here” and when I unfolded the paper a bunch of pubes fell out and it said “pubes”

[second date] yeah i low-key made you the beneficiary on eight life insurance policies

first date idea: a niche micro blogging website were you can trade posts for notifications

Blackhawk Down to clown

shoutout to everyone still using alt text on their images. it’s good for accessibility, it’s good for muted words and search, and it’s even good to help me understand your esoteric references

Blackhawk Down to clown

nice flavour is it blasted?

Happy Moss Monday

shoutout to everyone still using alt text on their images. it’s good for accessibility, it’s good for muted words and search, and it’s even good to help me understand your esoteric references

got my huge dick from my mom’s side of the family

Have you got any moss to share with the class for Moss Monday?

hey are we supposed to pay taxes in canada too or is that just a trump thing

haven’t said free Palestine and fuck ICE for a minute. Free Palestine and also fuck ICE

Have you got any moss to share with the class for Moss Monday?

How are you and your family celebrating Moss Monday today?

haven’t said free Palestine and fuck ICE for a minute. Free Palestine and also fuck ICE

please …i need to read like 8 bangers before i can put my phone down and prepare food for my family

let me call you back boss I’m with a custoid right now [hangs up] i’ve been dreaming of ways to serve you.

spiritually, it’s time to think differently about crime

[youth pastor flipping chair backwards and sitting down]

Didn't have to blast out, but I did anyway That young punk had to pay, your honour

We are the granddaughters of the Baja you could not Blast

have you tried lubing up your cloaca?

how many eggs are you guys laying each week? I’m only up to one or two but I think it should be higher by now

if I owned a chatbot company I would need A LOT of money to get rich. billions or maybe even trillions

if I owned a chatbot company I would need A LOT of money to get rich. billions or maybe even trillions

i heard when they were in space the artemis ii astronauts were swapped out but the new ones look like 99% the same

i heard when they were in space the artemis ii astronauts were swapped out but the new ones look like 99% the same

don’t sleep on birkenstocks they’re like if slippers were for the street

ooof lots of followers. i’ll try to shake them around this next corner

if you think bluesky sucks because you can’t monetize your content you should try The Original Oreos L’original by Christie baked in/preparé au Canada 270g 160 calories per/par 34g (3 Oreos)

fartemis II

fartemis II

[said wisely] historians of deal making will study this moment

to prove it’s open trump should pay $2 million to sail through hormuz

to prove it’s open trump should pay $2 million to sail through hormuz

[said wisely] historians of deal making will study this moment