Poprocks in my foreskin call me penis poppins

Slept in my Linkin Park shirt and now I'm about to break

THIS IS MY REAL FEAR OH MY GOD

You make art, and that's dope. I married art. I fall asleep next to art. I love her. Sometimes she lets me touch her booty.

Pros and cons of being my friend Pro: you have a friend Con: it's me

Went to the humane society the other day and asked for the big dawgs. They had me go to the back and it was a picture of you

See a meme share a meme?

For the longest time I thought the song "I'm bossy" was "I'm bouncy"

I spoke with Where Winds Meet devs at GDC! They spoke about Chinese stories being universal, Wuxia as the foundation for action cinema, and more. Given the well-known sinophobia in the industry, it was refreshing to see how proud they are of putting authenticity first. Read the interview 👇🏽

Pyrithione Zinc? I'm tryna pyrithione zinc my teeth into your inner thigh

Over the course of the last couple years I've noticed the best way to get my son to fall asleep in the car is to put on some kind of metal. Today it was Violent Nature by I Prevail lmao

4yo: look at my outfit Wife: wow that's great buddy, you're really good at making outfits 4yo: thanks. I AM really good at making outfits Wife: and so humble 4yo: that's right, I'm so humble

Me: I will eat your leftist ass My wife, rubbing her temples: Derek can you just say something normal?

Its been a month since Lady Liadrin and Zul'Jara fell in love and they haven't kissed ?

How'd you guess we're from the midwest? My 4yo, who's never lived in the Midwest: ope

When she finds out you're uncut

GenAI is exactly this, except that they have forced us to access your word processor and spreadsheets though the useless VR.

I just think the strong museum of play is dope as fuck

You either live long enough to poop standing up and die a hero or you don't

New favorite quote/truth bomb just dropped: “asking questions is good, being actually interested in people's answers is a gift”

He's in Michigan, for an awful reason

The fucking accuracy

You'll never guess what this is in response to

Happy MAR10 day to all who celebrate

LotR Uncut Trilogy is when Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli compare foreskin lengths.

Director's cut Means the film was made by someone who's been circumcised.

Zelda tattoo is finished!

so many people message me and ask “what is the need now? and “are all the needs met?” the needs are endless. we are trying to patch 1000 holes. fuck ice. fuck trump.

Currently tearing my hair out because I adopted an urgent rent need for a family that needs to pay $3050 RIGHT MEOW to stay out of eviction court and then I got an urgent request from another rent fund and there’s $320 left in my Venmo account. So much need and I wish I could be everywhere at once 😭

There she was a just a walking down the street Singin doo a diddy you've got cum on your shoes

Heads up SW! 🧡🖤 From a friend - WARNING: Amazon is updating it's list settings. With the new update, "your address may become visible to gift purchasers through delivery updates and tracking information" #spicysky #infosec

When I was A young boy

Why does my son have so many spoons

My wife: yeah we definitely didn't get three inches today Me: yeah and you definitely know three inches when you see it MW: Derek

Cumdump truck Is this anything?

Ok all done jorking penits. It's officially sounding sausage time. Who up sounding they rod?

pretty wolf

Pramanix #sketch #art #arknights

Who up jorkin depenis

Idk what to tell you all but

Transphobes get fucked forever

Who up staplemaxxing? I got staples in my head

Tiled Window Catte #pixelart #ドット絵

they are sending ppl to slave camps in other countries

Posting this again to remind you you dont have to be an amazing artist to draw comics!

transwomen are women! love is love 🏳️‍⚧️