in the grand scheme of things we don't matter, in the grander scheme of things I am the center of the universe

eating crackers with Gouda cheese

u rly should be pirating all your media and then giving me that money

hey @nytimes.com: there is no counterpoint here. There are no credible legal experts who would EVER say that the US military has any right or authority to blow civilian craft out of the Caribbean and kill their crews from afar without any provocation. There is no other side to this question.

When you’re on the toilet and you forgot your phone.

I'm not so easily deceptualized

i don't like the new star trek shows that are like weird reboots it confuses me and makes me angry

“you can kill the worst and most dangerous people” yeah i can think of one of the worst and most dangerous people right now

Remember Charlie Kirk? Well, this is him now! Feel old yet?

"Medbed" you mean getting laid?

I'm so excited for my own med bed card

bathing in soup

smelling the bros

this is whats gonna happen to bryan johnson

irrationality is when I wouldn't do it personally

angry men be like I gotta give myself a reason to kill myself

The Life of a Showgirl Fuck The Gays Edition Target Exclusive

the Dems: oh good so he's open to compromise

i need a sleep mask

slang that resurfaces in a later generation is still slang of that generation, the credit doesn't only go to the first generation who ever said it, it's history not the Guinness book of World records

sorry to my balls

infinite jerkoff nexus

menswear guy #blocked me cuz I tussled for my mutual

pope mcgruff - take a bite outta sin

we need a pope who's tough on crime

HE'S GOT A NEW HAT

He must be so cunty when he eats alligator

hickory smoked dick

me after 1 imaginary sex:

sure we're okay, we're better than okay, we're fine

what the fuck

penis palpitations

Me if i was a fender rhodes repairman: It's "tine" to go to bed

could someone's opinion on a fictional character be a deal breaker day one? it's possible.

Donald Trump is basically a cheugy karen

ufhoes

I'm not at the end of my rope, plenty of rope left.

did hardcore laundry

Sure a sizable portion of the work of Tom of Finland is no longer allowed on the App based on the new rules but only fucked up freaks could possibly upset about it if you think about it.

“It is the hour of freedom or death. Death by missile is real, but so too is freedom in the human heart.”

Theo Von I am here for you if you need woke counseling!!!

Pining for Apples

True meaning of Transness

love that it seems like the filming of Wicked went fine without issues and yet everyone is like oh my goodness Cynthia Erivo and Ariana Grande are the most dramatic women in all of Hollywood

he's so hot

peaceful protesters humming in unison such that the heads of their oppressors explode

the downside to my parents going out of town for a day is worrying they'll be kidnapped by the gestapo

I was busy thinkin bout woims