hi my names poof birb im not actually an alcoholic im just trying to meet people who aren't drunk all the time no i don't want a keychain thanks

how am i supposed to know you're upset if you don't call me an asshole while taking a shit directly on my face

it's the year 3000. you go outside and they rip your nuts off immediately

he was jesus on earth. he was like living ai where you could go and ask it a question and it would respond to you but with god

farting and shitting with the handshake emoji between them because usually that's what happens

the 1980s was the era of parents who smoke weed. now they shit constantly

you put the dicks in your ass and then you fart, so it's dicks farting out your ass

people must look at me walking around and think IM GONNA SHIT IN HIS ASS

visit my mom's house. hear "oh mai gad son i haven't seen you in yeeas". walk straight to the kitchen. throw up in the dish washer. leave

the 👍 is an antifa cat whistle

antifa sabotaged the WHAT

holy epic nutsack

stop asking me to wack off to Instagram ads. I've clicked on this one 9 times already

I ordered extra balls with asshole. and when I got my order? the regular amount of balls. 1/5 unbelievable

i always thought "type A personality" just meant autistic

im using this to edit all my video now i don't even care what happens https://github.com/WyattBlue/auto-editor

if i was being yelled at for being autistic i would just say "thank you sir for estimating my emotional requirements"

welcome to poof birbs house of complicated garbage crap

im going to write a 90s sitcom about a stray dog that approaches groups of people and holds eye contact with them while it takes a shit on the sidewalk

one time i tried to fart on my friends face and it was just poop

i am getting raptured every day its annoying

you have to keep feeding the algorithm or it will get upset and eat the dog

every time my computer makes a ∫ character i say thank you genius apple man for your incredible design knowledge

that is an oddly specific way to shit your pants

haha i love porn game

taking a 14 hours course about how to not disappoint your dad for once

i think someone made an ai of this

sounds like the association of press is about to receive a 100 billion dollars lawsuit

@bsky.app hi can we have circles so that i can post pictures of my nuts

im going to be so annoying when im dying or whatever

Just gotta say you’re not into diaper fetish stuff and walk away

"beaverton"

i would consider moving to portland because of how cool they make it seem in portlandia

you go to something called the man's room and it's just farting and shitting

in a bacterial situation, i would be the flagellis

animal known as the carb

r/shitposting is more openly and consistently fascistic than /pol/

putridity. botulism. leaving your puke on the stairs

24 hours per day slug ass

a $1 million dollars fee for h1b visas just means more contracting with overseas outsourcing firms

up the river without a cow

if i had a podcast nobody would come on as a guest because it's just screaming and burping

at least he had something to do

they do strange things in poland

planning the day's farts while enjoying a cup of wet crap

from now on im not doing anything that chat gpt can't do

the only way to get through to a conservative is to appeal directly to their racisms

getting tested for Toxoplasma-specific IgG, IgM, IgA, or IgE antibodies

cheeseburger hitler's incredible shitting fart ass