You have a really negative mindset. Try being positive for a change. Why don’t you file a rightful life lawsuit against me instead?

Oh you’re going to do a Solstice party with your Pagan pals? That’s cool. We’re going to have a much better party 3 days later if you want to wait. Also I have to get a little water on you hold still real quick.

suckin and fuckin and beatin our meat that’s the jiggle balls that’s the jiggle balls that’s the jiggle balls cock!!!!!

who up gaying with they yule

James Cameron you’re a weird dude

he caught he girl dancing on he grinch

Ordering a Cherry Cud at BurgerSkank >>>>

Wow, okay… why don’t you try to redact all the files that say the President and his friend murdered a baby on Lake Michigan while you have Imposter Syndrome???

If I had a pen pal in prison it would not be Larry Nassar I can tell you that much

Rudolph? Yeah, I fucked her.

Only time I want to hear about what’s going on inside CBS is if a Scanners-style situation starts happening in there. You know the part.

core of spondance

Getting my loved ones the number one gift of the season; a pre-signed prescription pad from the doctors office.

coin operated toilet paper dispenser

Watching Boondock Saints with Tool playing in one ear and Radiohead in the other, at the bottom of the screen the full text of Infinite Jest scrolls by continuously

"Whatever the subjugation of publicity to the management of capital (but this aspect of the question - that of the social and economic impact of publicity - always remains unresolved and fundamentally insoluble), it always had more than a subjugated function, it was a ..." - Simulacra and Simulation

Ring light toilet seat

So the story about Ghislaine Maxwell flying a Blackhawk helicopter in Colombia and firing a rocket into a terrorist camp might be real?

This program is only available with rats.

Happy Luis Carrero Blanco assassination day to all who celebrate 🥳🎉

Insane to watch the Blue Dog types finally care about Trump Model Management when it was a kill shot the first time he ran. They completely ignored it.

Fan Gruel

Sad night watching Mr. Paul catch Chris Benoit disease (hopefully)

The Epsteinphiles are out all right. Yeah, you guys! You love his documents so much.

Good luck getting re-elected now, Bill Clinton

grinch sucked me off??

Damn how many votes does she have

Me riding effortlessly through the forest on my dirtbike and getting noticed by Ben Mendelsohn: oh hi

Oh brother! This guy art there?

fucking the Weg man for weg

Bears are reportedly already swimming to the island.

The president has turned into a dead body on live TV. Please have a nice day.

People are trying to get their little jabs in but it’s genuinely very scary that my girlfriend’s husband has been deployed to an active war.

Obama speech at the funeral

All of the pizza places around Jody Headquarters are showing spikes in orders that suggest they’re mobilizing and on high alert. All of the condom places, too.

Logging on to see if it happened while I was away

Can you imagine the public love immediately after finding out? Strangers embracing like family. Neighbors dragging the grill onto the sidewalk for spontaneous block parties. Every person in the country is going to get their own personal WWII sailor to sweep them into a passionate kiss.

Jim Carrey Grinch stealing vaccine vials from a CVS

Very cool to watch the manufactured public opinion of "tech is liberal" and "tech companies are leftist" fall away and completely evaporate to the reality that American tech companies are the vanguard of the Fourth Reich in the way that they were during the Third.

Wait, you talkin CHRIS CHRIS CHRIS or like CHRIS DEL CHRIS Chris

pervert 👇

What are those beautiful women talking about on the news? They’re both just so gorgeous.

Daniel Day Lewis in Gangs of New York voice: whoopsie daisy!

*whispers* that gregg

Probably gonna get canceled for this but there are a lot of names that if you gave one to your daughter she is going to have a fucked up life. Like Cruella Dogfucker. Or Nazi Warcrime.

might go to the roof of my building to rip ass

I hate that people call AI generated stuff “slop.” You can’t even eat it!!!