You: It was nice to meet you, um, Mr Peepiss Mr. Pee Piss: It's Pee Piss, actually

watching a porno wearing a jersey with the face of one of the actors on it and cheering when they cum. and booing when the other actor cums

thinking about what a nice game rdr2 was. all I have to do is remember playing it and my brain is like “here’s some good chemicals, on the house.” Arthur Morgan was real and he was my friend

I have a way with words (derogatory)

Right about now, the honk shoo brother

[Approaching the counter at the sex shop and forgetting what a "Chastity Cage" is called] "Yeah do you have uhhhh-"

Rinse out that bowl playboy. What if you want to eat more bowl foods later and don’t want to start fresh bowl

peeing at the urinal with my pants pulled all the way down to my ankles and my shirt pulled all the way up to my nipples

*putting on shades and racking a shotgun as a guitar solo electrifies the air* I'm sorry I was mean earlier it turns out I needed a snack

Based on what I'm seeing on the TV, if the US actually does invade canada it looks like we'd be better off offering the soldiers a hot home-cooked meal over a bullet. Issuing a statement now, stray cat rules apply to all invading US soldiers. Wear an oven mitt, they may scratch or bite.

And then you realize we've been going around like "East Asian cultural values are largely rooted in Stevenism--", like what are we doing

Anybody else find it weird as hell that we still use the name Confucius? He went by Kong Fuzi (aka Master Kong) 16th century Europeans basically pulled a "You can't seriously expect me to make those crazy foreigner noises with my mouth, I'll just call you Steve"

Im kind of insane from being in the arctic for the past 15 days but hopefully will be home monday. Rather than take a bath and eat veggies and decompress I'm thinking about eating 5g of mushrooms on the way home from the airport and see just how deep this rabbit hole goes

I keep tellin myself that dont exhibit leftist brain rot but the grocery store near me has child sized carts that have placards that say 'Customer in Training' and rather than say 'ah cute' i want to tear them from the hands of innocent children and throw them in the ravine behind the carpet factory

It's over: I've already depicted you as the seething broad gauge train, and myself as the smug narrow gauge!

You, a dumbass: the moon is an alien space station Me, took LSD when i was 19 and personally spoke with Molekular, the demiurge that created our universe within the already existing universe: nope. Its an egg, dummy

I like the idea of the demiurge, specifically as an argument to use against christians. 'yeah man i believe in god too, but given the evidence its clear that whatever it is loves suffering and evil' Someone should write a book about how lucifer is the good guy. Cant believe no one has done this

*extremely calm and unbothered voice* oh my god what the fuck have i done what is going to happen to me oh god there is no hope there is nothing

I wanna chill with you on a mountain I wanna chill with you in the sea

The three types of ‘50s pop songs were come on everybody let’s do the snap pea, if you ever kissed me I would turn into some goo, and hey hey beautiful child I would never take you over state lines

Flying Squirrel Loves It Every Time

Zohran Mamdani has entered play. You may untap up to 4 mana

My recommended list on youtube kicks ass today -2hr video of re-handling an axe -conspiracy video about dogman attacks in kentucky -a man named danny carving beautiful inlays in leather -some nerd yelling about unreal engine 5 being a piece of shit -something called 'spiritual bigfoot' Hell yeah

(crouching in front of a dog tied up outside a coffee shop) who are they to restrain you? what right do they have? what laws have you broken? can the jailor ever truly know a prisoner's heart? (releasing the dog and it runs directly into traffic) ah divine judgment, fickle fate

My milquetoast post about a TV show has got people sephiroth posting in the quote tweets

Everyone else says they get right wing stuff pushed to their YouTube homepage and I get stuff like this

Its -30 Celsius today. Here is what it looks like when sea spray freezes into ice fog. A little hard to see from the pics. Too cold to get closer lmao

Oxblood leather onesie for infant toddler small size genuine leather for kids baby full grain

Ive started working leather

There is nothing more therapeutic than crafting

Its really good to see normal every day americans push back against the intensely weird and hateful right wing government. I dont specifically mean leftists or online politics people I mean like aunt deb and uncle jerry. Regular people who dont want to define themselves by hatred

Marmalade Update: marmo is a lap goblin

Crawling around the boiler room on all fours, hissing at technicians

Not gonna lie id try skooma given the chance. Sittin around with all my lizard homies, They-That-City-Swims and Swamp-Sucker Peter. Just hittin the pipe, talkin bout cat girls and inventing slurs for high elfs

Wearing a motorcycle helmet or hard hat may protect your head from the Mad Clubber, but he can still batter you about the arms, legs, and torso. You must flee

Some 17yo: i loved the latest film aimed at my demographic Some clinically depressed weed addicted 39yo: then youre an idiot because it sucked

whenever i remember that toilets are made if porcelain, i crack up oh, u mean like the desirable skin? like a precious figurine?? lmao

Would you rather be given 1 million dollars or tongue kiss one of the guys who breathes really loud and has a white crusty mouth?

Learning to shut the fuck up as Zen Buddhism and smiling serenely with the knowledge that my opinions are largely without quantifiable merit.

Extending a meeting indefinitely by asking a group of engineers their opinion on a minute detail that doesnt matter in the slightest

The reason 30 Rock succeeds years later while parks and rec has aged like a toilet full of milk, is that 30 Rock doesnt shy away from portraying Liz Lemon as an obvious villian with a victim/hero complex, whereas Leslie Knope was played just a straight hero character, even tho she is a neolib shill

I met an autistic inuit kid today and he was very excited that I'm also on the spectrum so I took him along for my assessment on his parents property and he chewed my ear off about how he perceives the world and how annoying it is that no one else gets it. Good kid.

*mouth slowly opening as i realize the logical endpoint of capitalism is one wizened, soulless old man holding the full sum of the world's material wealth, sitting on a throne built from the corpses of the rest of us* Shit sorry, brain fart. I'll have 3 mcdoubles please

Me, drunk pep-talking myself in the mirror: people dont like when you get immediately political. Just fucken chill. Its fine Me, 5 seconds later talking to someone ive only just met: capitalism is why youre unhappy im a full blown communist btw

What van WHAT? Not in this house

interviewer: under skills you listed evading large predator animals me: that’s right you see any hippo or lion bites on me? interviewer: i see several bites on your arms me: those are from a beagle which we can agree is not a predator of man

Day 11 in the arctic and I've begun to go insane. Not due to anything other than being stuck in a tiny hotel room and missing my cat and interacting with people I dont work with.

my friend: lol you could just call a guy named Richard “Dick” and he wouldn't know if it's an insult [later] me: hey richard, you fucking dick.