Sometimes your couch will make a really fucked up sound and then be totally fine for 8 years. Its just a thing furniture does

I love boomer Facebook so much man

Marmalade update: marmo has noticed theres birds outside

Whatever is going on, don't stop. Don't slow down. You're making good time. Just keep going.

Ok cool so how do we make sony release all these cool ass games on PC bc i will take a hammer to my balls before i go back to consoles

Im gonna make the gayest wallet this world has ever seen, for pride. Then im gonna give the bastard away. Ill post it later or tomorrow on my leatherworking account. Keep your fucken eyes peeled @boiledowlleather.bsky.social

Eating cheese slices by the light of the refrigerator. Just enough illumination to see what I’m doing, but not enough for it to count as a sin.

I just ordered 5 arbys beef and cheddars like a shell shocked soldier orders a double whiskey

Bearing down on the Arbys

The assassins creed eagle sound plays as i climb the the tallest building in a new city to scan for the closest arbys

Thanking all the patriots at arbys for helping me get my pants back on

Stabbing a home intruder in the jugular with a quartz healing crystal point and placing him under a wicker laundry basket to see what will happen next.

Omg I love this shit

google memories gets me

best I can do is drop it like it’s warm

me and my homies all have various aches and pains

Commenting "this is grotesque" on every post in my linkedin feed

Lining up in the home depot parking lot for my turn at the salt lick. The other fellas got 'er almost licked down to nothing. im worried ill be lapping at mush.

Theres a guy at the gas station who sells lizards but hes not officially sanctioned by the gas station hes a separate entity. Dont ask for lizards at the till they call the cops on you if you do

holodeck cum roomba

Over the weekend i watched the reckless ben bricks and minifigs stuff with parents and my dad told me they got all their neighbours to watch it. Their main takeaway appears to be 'fuck mormons' and 'corpos will fuck you any chance they get'. Proud of them.

I forgot that all the children being marketed to here are 40 years old and all the toys are $500 figurines sorry everyone i am learning and growing.

It sucks that due to the current entertainment landscape that a movie that SHOULD be nothing more than an artistically vacuous vehicle to sell 12yos toys is being talked abt by adults as tho it is, or should be, art. This is about He Man. It looks bad because im 40. Shit would go hard if i was 12

how to answer about the gap in your resume

Heres what this person says to do, but as someone who routinely conducts interviews, im telling you, do NOT do this. This makes you appear disingenuous, which is way worse than employment gaps. Just be upfront. 'I was taking care of my young children, i was laid off from my previous position, etc'

Guy came up to me today. This guys a real piece of work. Got the roaming countenance of a vanguard. You know the type. Anyways, get this, keep mind i can see right thru this guy. The man's got a nature most disquieted, dude. Plain as day. So he comes up and keep in mind im not buying it but he goes

Smoothing my brain out with a bone folder until The Atlantic and NYT articles start making sense to me

My little nephew, aged 4, has started calling everyone bro and sister said 'you cant call girls bro' and he said 'yea I can all girls are my bros'

In this house we ride for weird art girls. Keep amy march's name out of your fucking mouth while you still have all your teeth, pal

Tying a hammer to a bull whip and saying 'this ones just for the girls' while i use it to destroy a ford F150

Eating a big handful of beetles and grubs to get attention from girls

Reading catch-22 at the bar and shaking my head so all the girls know i disagree with WW2

Peach Horse Portrait

Throwback to when a TV station in Iceland accidentally aired an episode of Teletubbies with subtitles from the Sopranos 👌🏼

Gotta work from home today. Doordash driver addressed me by name last night and now that thing in the fog can command me. Wont effect my performance

good news, everyone

Pliny the Elder died when he tried to suck the volcano off. That's the part Pliny the Younger left out of that story

happy pride month

my name is Alexis Olivegarden

She lost her legs and the glaze turned out whack, but she mostly survived

Weed is something thats 'just for the girls' but its okay for men and NBs to smoke it too as long as they sit quietly and behave.

Some 17yo: i loved the latest film aimed at my demographic Some clinically depressed weed addicted 39yo: then youre an idiot because it sucked

Hashish, flower, shatter, and concentrates. Take up the sacrament and let your soul rejoice in the chorus of all creation. Sing with me, brother

May the weed find you happy and prosperous, wayfarer