are you me? ↙ ↘ no yes ↓ ↓ dont touch whoa!! dont my stuff touch my stuff

1/ eight years ago we moved into our townhouse and my wife laid an extension cord on top of the baseboard heater in the bedroom and then plunked a dresser down in front of it and that was that

Morning 🤣.

Hey guys my book release is almost here!

i think maybe if you have five or six decent mutuals and some sort of news feed and that's it you've got a shot at a normal life

The real secret to capturing women is potatoes

somewhere between england & america lies a normal skintone

just saw a rat the size of a quail at the gas station and the end of the world can't come soon enough

there's a stern lady on tiktok who teaches you how to swear in chinese i dunno if it's mandarin or cantonese but i'll take it, ǧun kāi everyone!

Oreos more important than oxygen, says Oreos CEO

I don’t care, dude. Nobody cares. Like what are you talking about? We don’t work for the media. We’re just people posting about our day

This might be the worst typo in bluesky history

My friends, we are going on a bold new adventure today. I present to you……. DISCOUNT GROCERY STORE CEVICHE

i'd like to think i'm a good boss, an inspirational boss

i will watch if the big one kills and eats the little one

confidence isnt something that comes from within confidence is some you can only get by buying a gender-affirming truck

I love it when they do nationwide recalls of cybertrucks and it only affects like 125 vehicles total because that’s all that sold

WFH today so it's day 3 of the worst movie in the history of the world. everyone - writers, producers, director & actors (except for lisa marie) - should be fed into a wood chipper. 1:06:31 down, 15 more minutes to go 😭

Still the best film adaptation of The Odyssey

aw hell, i forgot all about this four nights ago. picking it back up at 39:22, it still stinks

temu wilson fisk

Back at my turning wood nonsense.

ted turner died from stage 4 ligma.

new linkedin shit post up

$5.07US per gallon thanks a lot clinton, other clinton, obama & biden

WHAT IS THEIR CRIME? HAVING A PIECE OF CHEESE? A SUCCULENT PIECE OF CHEESE?

needs more banjo and olde timey singin

one hundred word short story

im the meanest rickshaw driver in the city. im drafting around corners on one wheel. gentlewomens hats blown clean off in my wake. pedaling so fast you can’t see my legs at all. if you go beneath my wheels you will wake up in hell

sure you could eat ass but you could also eat a wonderfully crunchy and crispy hashbrown. hell, you could do both. why forego the hashbrown

i am 8:18 into possibly the worst movie ever made but i refuse to give up

severe emotional disconnect cheeseburger

cocaine

We all say it wrong anyway let’s just change the spelling to sherbert

lmfao

baba o’riley’s auto parts

NERD INFERNO IS OUT TODAY! I was so busy yesterday I never posted the last daily excerpt. A day late, here's a panel from Dork #9 (2001), part of the "How to Get Sued" series. The Nerd Inferno Omnibus collects The Eltingville Club, Milk & Cheese and Dork. Published by @darkhorse.com BUY IT, FFS!

gone in the blink of an eye 🥲

friends we're gathered here today beside the railroad tracks to say goodbye to the last mouse that was in my house godspeed furry little man

there are 2 types of bluesky 1. perverts 2. dead pets

starts at the cemetery in tsawassen but i guess whatever samsung

FYI: Front porch is off limits until further notice. There are BABIES living out there

Look we're trying to forget the whole thing

Our 104-year-old neighbor died last week and there are all sorts of gems hiding in her cupboards, like this baby food that expired in 1982 🫣

new mouse is antsy

Coworker showed me pics of the all the hot guys she's seeing. And then i showed her a pic of this sick ass car i saw in our parking lot yesterday

If we get to 300 followers I’ll actually do good posts I promise heh

I decided to power wash some wooden skids. It was a real pallet cleanser.