Ever wondered how your grant got cancelled? No we know. Some college dropout asked ChatGPT "is it DEI/woke"? www.techdirt.com/202...

declaring “we will win”. it’s gonna take work, lots Yes, we’re tired. But sign that ballot, check that voter registration, listen to folks in your communities, be there for them and then be there for the candidates you believe in, run for something, donate, show up, never give up. It’s up to us.

DHS must be dismantled

Yesterday, those who teach Intro to Sociology at Florida colleges (as opposed to universities) received a ready-made curriculum from the state and were ordered to teach it. Yes, you read that correctly. The *state* is enforcing a curriculum on college profs, complete w/ the following restrictions:

Congress must resume funding NASAs initiative to send a probe to closely orbit the Sun as a proof of concept for our new elite pedophile jail

So SCOTUS, with its fabricated-out-of-thin-air immunity doctrine, has actually made American presidents less accountable than LITERAL royalty.

knock knock -Who’s there? knock knock -…Who’s there? knock knock -cease your torment, foul beast. I know it’s you, old man, or more exactly, your spirit. Didst thou carry that crazed eye to hell? Enough! Will you announce yourself, or leave me be? knock knock -I’m calling the cops

Just spent a year living among wild chesters and can report that it is actually pretty easy being cheesy

Finish at the gym. Walk into the sauna. See this. Turn around. The door is gone. Turn back. It’s Satan. “You died on the bench press.” Steam starts pouring in.

Finish at the gym. Walk into the sauna. See this. Turn around. The door is gone. Turn back. It’s Satan. “You died on the bench press.” Steam starts pouring in.

Worst part about being a ghost is having to speak with reverb

Based on their fundraising texts, part of me wonders if the Dems hope Trump tries the third term thing so they can run Obama again

wow I...I gasped at this one. good Lord

Real-Estate Agent: Please ignore Mortimer. He follows me around and takes on distorted shapes of my tragic past in hopes of slowly driving me to madness, so that I’ll relinquish my soul to Satan in return for a temporary reprieve from the suffering on Earth. He’s not associated with this property.

“Bear with me” (bad): your slides aren’t working and you’re the keynote speaker at a conference “Bear with me” (worse): a caveman is stealing your bear

(noticing the look on people’s faces) oh god im sorry I get restaurant and restroom confused

Posting on president’s day just for the likes-and-a-half overclout

I don’t like how my car starts a ritualistic chant anytime I’m about to back over a person. I won’t satisfy your blood lust.

Coming out that Epstein was somehow the most online guy of all time, in every chatroom and behind every scandal, and it’s starting to make sense why we’re now being run exclusively by the too-rich, too-online guys who hung out with him.

You said I should make checklists to help manage my ADHD symptoms in different areas of life. To keep track of that, I need time to make the lists, which requires making time for some sort of meta-checklist. This is similar to Russel’s Paradox, which Wikipedia says Psych: we can increase the dose?

I don’t like how my car starts a ritualistic chant anytime I’m about to back over a person. I won’t satisfy your blood lust.

crypto bro telling me about the importance of the gold standard

The more Trump hosts overtly partisan campaign-style events with active-duty troops on military bases, the more it might start to seem normal. But nothing about this dangerous trend should be seen as routine. www.ms.now/rachel-maddo...

keep hitting it we gotta deplete the full health bar before it recovers

please help. my AI polycule has turned murderous

All this time, we should have been asking *how* 6 was afraid of 7

All this time, we should have been asking *how* 6 was afraid of 7

My favorite thing to do is to think of all these as urban dictionary sex moves. Ohio car sex New Mexico hugging Minnesota mutual orgasm West Virginia dildo (not recommended)

The commander in chief telling troops who they have to vote for is itself a presidency ending impeachable scandal.

They’re Outright Saying It Now, Vol. 463

no, democrats are not going to save us, but I do think they're trend-following sycophants who will crumple in the face of a strong leftward movement, as opposed to ritually spilling the blood of their brethren on the capitol steps because they didn't like the superbowl halftime show

me: did you update without my permission pc: noooo me: i'm going to open a browser pc: why? don't you trust me? me: (clicks on icon) pc: wait stop I can-- me: well, hello Bing! imagine seeing you here

(sitting in an ICE prison camp) yeah this sucks, but if I was out there I’d still be under the yoke of the capitalist system so tomato tomato

lol. Lmao, even.

Alright, nervous system, I’m in a hurry so we need to move quick. NS: Quick and sloppy, got it. No, not sloppy. Quick, but effective. NS: ready to spill some shit, boss, just point me to the nearest open container

Given that my litmus test for misconduct is whether or not the event occurred on a tarmac, Pam Bondi’s testimony was fine.

“I’m (sniff) just built different” (smugly explaining why I’m too powerful for antihistamines to work)

“I’m (sniff) just built different” (smugly explaining why I’m too powerful for antihistamines to work)

Some children in Dilley were so distraught they cut themselves or talked about suicide, parents told ProPublica. They said kids lost their appetites after finding worms and mold on their food, had trouble sleeping, and were constantly sick.

This is the second account - the first being in Chicago - of DHS agents mass detaining people and then *sorting them by race*.

The past-tense of succumb is succame, who’s with me?

Got a parking ticket from my uni despite paying by app. They had no record of payment. I sent screenshots from the app and they said, oh, you used the wrong app, that’s for the street parking by the lot, the LOT USES A DIFFERENT APP, YOU DIDNT PARK WITH THE RIGHT APP WE ARE LIVING IN HELL

Oops! They accidentally put the “Attorney General” sign in front of the press secretary. Rookie mistake.

"Fight against being ass" is a message that more people need to receive, tbh

trump musing aloud that he's gonna burn in hell has become so common in his ramblings that it doesn't even make the news, this was a few days ago and the only clip i was able to find of it was at RT

I wasn’t ready for so much 21st century packed into a single sentence

Hippocrates: you have plantar fasciitis Achilles: I don’t know what that means Hippocrates: That’s okay, it’s Latin Achilles: what the fuck is Latin