didn't realize Garfield was a chaser

no one: a cop’s apartment in a 90s network procedural:

Begging for other cis people to be louder more often. It’s not just right, it’s literally a popular position I promise

They don’t name tech companies after Malazan characters, just saying.

starting a lathe of heaven thread to stash all the most cursed ideas that pop in my head

Perfect gender-divide line in america where like 90% of the men seeing this just go "whatever its a robot! its just for fellas to blow off steam and get their urges met theres no issue" meanwhile 90% of women see this and realize "oh fuck im going to need to carry a gun 24/7 this time next year"

Received Colonel Sanders Partner Card.

We should have never given nerds money

everyone who posts about malazan book of the fallen - I'm collecting you like rare pokemon

a neat thing about malazan is if you ever get tired of the erikson books full of characters like anomander rake or icarium lifestealer or k'rul or ursto hoobutt or dujek onearm or trull sengar or heboric light touch, you can switch over to the esslemont ones for The Thrilling Adventure Of Kyle

Kyle is such a Kyle-ass character that a full third of the summary section on his wiki page is "he has a big family and is a good jogger"

i love malazan so much, everyone should read malazan, your 2026 resolution should be reading malazan

careful, Doorknob Jones is a fan favorite and we will accept no slander of his good name

1) the empress is blue 2) There’s a dark elf guy and he can make portals 3) other kinds of magic exist but we haven’t been shown much of it besides “entire army wiped out in seconds offscreen” 4) everyone is named like Gravn Ilkh Haris or Doorknob Jones. The only 2 names

Reading Gardens of the Moon and it feels a little bit like starting Minecraft for the first time ever with, for some reason, no prior knowledge of Minecraft at all, and all youve figured out so far is punch tree to get wood.

would you still love me if i was D'rek, the Mistress of Decay and Worm of Autumn

we out here bonehunting

The placebo effect was named after John Placebo, who loved effects

Birria is stored in the balls

they're right. we need to think of how ice agents and cbp feel conducting their abductions, and how we can make them feel bad enough that they all kill themselves

a gun that sees the future and tells you hidden truths, but can only speak while she's being fired

When my posts don't reach 3 likes

if a mysterious fog rolled into town i would simply continue eating chips

i regret to report this is literally a dell ad campaign

we're so back

TH...THIS IS MY MUG! IT WAS MADE FOR ME!

a gun that sees the future and tells you hidden truths, but can only speak while she's being fired

rip brigitte bardot, our entire culture owes a debt to her pioneering example of being hot and racist

everyone loves a talking sword, this is true. but the broader concept of sentient weaponry has been sadly under-utilized in modern fiction. where are the clinically depressed battle axes. the halberd that dreams of a career in standup. a gun with a reloading kink

why is that gap between xmas and new years always the saddest time of the year except for maybe the entire month of august

i love bluesky sm bc i can post a video of some white woman with sharpie eyeliner saying FAGGOTS like it's slam poetry and all my oomfies will eat that shit up but when we're trying to genuinely offend each other someone will post this stupid fuckin jpeg

One of my GotY for 2024. If you like strategy-based puzzles, this is your jam.

Sentences from Wikipedia that would chill you if you read them in a science fiction story written 25 years ago, part 1 in an ongoing series en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apocaly...

yeah i definitely read that wrong. presented to you by after work wine 🍷

if you want a video of the future, imagine a man kicking his own dick with a robot - forever

They should create an anything nice we actually can have

I sent this video to my friend and she got mad at me

Blanket censoring the word “gambling” is literally a pro gambling move. Gambling platforms avoid the word for obvious reasons, so YouTube eliminating its use under the pretense of combating gambling is the best fucking cover a gambling platform could ask for. It’s pretty disgusting.

Jon Stewart has been problematic on disability for a long time. He's on the board of Next for Autism (an ABA-focused charity) and has not listened when autistic people have tried to educate him about the harms of ABA or get him to learn from autistic lived experiences. So this is not a surprise.

no more jon stewart. society has progressed past the need for jon stewart.

jon stewart is a bully, which is great when he’s doing something righteous, but it’s just mean when he’s doing something bully-ish

this stupid menu does absolutely fuck all. useless.

Joachim mode feels so cool in Lament of Innocence, doing psychic sword shit is so much cooler to me than swinging one normally lmao

DEVIL: You shall stay forever young, but this picture of you will bear the marks of your sin! DORIAN: Can I hide it? DEVIL: Well, yes, but— DORIAN: And there are no other consequences? DEVIL: This… This picture will become so foul! DORIAN: Again, probably I’ll hide the picture.