Oh hey a SEVENTH J6 insurrectionist pardoned by Trump has just been convicted of sexual crimes against children

Oh hey a SEVENTH J6 insurrectionist pardoned by Trump has just been convicted of sexual crimes against children

If you're a vegan it is okay to eat a comet but not so much an asteroid because they're a little meteor

Hate it when someone chops my arm off as I reach the top of the siege ladder. Ok I guess I’ll just tumble screaming into the throng of attackers below ?

Markwayne Mullin looks like if gas station hot dogs had a faltering lawn mowing business

RIP Kristi Noem you would have loved taking Kristi Noem out to the ol’ gravel pit

Qualities you want in a DHS Seceratary: 1. Dumb fuckin name 2. Googling his name and “cowering” produces tons of high quality results 3. Initially disappointed he’s not three guys but after hearing him speak for 5 minutes actually you’re glad he’s just one guy

RIP Kristi Noem you would have loved taking Kristi Noem out to the ol’ gravel pit

Kristi Noem would have taken Kristi Noem out to the ol’ gravel pit by now

Qualities you want in a DHS Seceratary: 1. Dumb fuckin name 2. Googling his name and “cowering” produces tons of high quality results 3. Initially disappointed he’s not three guys but after hearing him speak for 5 minutes actually you’re glad he’s just one guy

human bag of rancid hockey gear, markwayne mullin, has never met a dog he wouldn’t teach to lick peanut butter out of his asshole

Markwayne Mullin looks like if gas station hot dogs had a faltering lawn mowing business

This one’s gonna be tough, but I have a great idea for the milk part that’s gonna make it tougher Gonna use my jar of tile off-cuts and scraps for the cereal bits, I just didn’t want to render them all #art 🧶 #diy

This one’s gonna be tough, but I have a great idea for the milk part that’s gonna make it tougher Gonna use my jar of tile off-cuts and scraps for the cereal bits, I just didn’t want to render them all #art 🧶 #diy

Sailor: oh no, Boatswain Tully has gone mad from drinking salt water! Captain: ay, he forgot to put some gnocchi in it first, oldest rule of the sea laddy

He sexually harassed her until she killed herself by setting herself on fire

Things no one has ever said: Did you forget to put a bay leaf in this?

Things no one has ever said: Did you forget to put a bay leaf in this?

I forgot that I met the man that invented those toys in October. I asked him about this idea and he just stared at me then I just walked off both reactions were totally justified and fine

How to win in November

The ShamWow infomercial guy is running for congress as a Republican and the last 2 seconds of his ad are WILD

CEO of a company that sells ice: “Folks, we never thought this day would come, but it’s 2025 and I believe we need to rebrand.”

drinkin water like I got a quart order

all the microplastics in my bloodstream explains why whenever I stand up my knees sound like when you crush an empty water bottle

defeating Bloodskallion Killstomper, Water-Baron of the Deathly Drylands in 2062 by digging up his parents’ 2024 IG Live gender reveal set to Angel by Jack Johnson

Dad who bought too many bananas: Ok that’s one chef’s special peanut butter and banana sandwich, I think you’re gonna love that. And for you sir, may I suggest an unconventional topping for that slice of cold leftover pizza?

You have two wolves inside you. There are raccoons riding on their back. Turns out they were both AI and I had to scroll back and unlike them

NEW MONTH NEW STICKER VOTE NOW or EXPERIENCE DIFFICULTY 1 - gloop of love 2 - mini meadow 3 - blessed repast 4 - portal peeper

I’m so tired of all these funny people and their entertaining posts. I really wish more of you would “no but” their jokes to death with logic in the replies

For real tho, I’ve just started fully blocking people who do this shit learn to riff or die

For real tho, I’ve just started fully blocking people who do this shit learn to riff or die

I’m so tired of all these funny people and their entertaining posts. I really wish more of you would “no but” their jokes to death with logic in the replies

You have two wolves inside you. There are raccoons riding on their back. Turns out they were both AI and I had to scroll back and unlike them

waking up in 2026 like

We should set aside our petty grievances in order to make room for new and even more petty grievances

I am not looking for a politician to explain why blowing up 100 little girls is good

NOTE 1 Pregnant because raped in custody 2 Moved to TX because the regime has anticipated a need to circumvent state laws regarding abortion, medical rights 3 the infants in question will likely be trafficked into evangelical adoption networks or be subject the consequences of a lack of medical care

We should call them Flaps

NEW STICKERS: HELL AND DAMN YEAH EDITION

Night’s Watch Commander: …you will take no lands, hold no titles, and take no wives Jon Snowboard: *raises hand* NWC: yes Jon Jon Snowboard: Can we still shred mad gnar? NWC: you can still shred mad gnar Jon Snowboard: Sick. Nights Watch Recruits (in unison): Sick

lowkey, goated, but can I get the sauce on the side?

Fetterman is just this but for Democratic leadership foreign policy

We should call them Flaps

Man with a pick axe in his inventory: oh man my wooden club doesn’t break this pile of rubble. Let’s try a lightning spell!

Man with a pick axe in his inventory: oh man my wooden club doesn’t break this pile of rubble. Let’s try a lightning spell!

Ok are game streamers just a little bit bad at the games on purpose? It’s it a rage bait thing?