if i were a burglar i’d just carry a vacuum into houses with dogs

SOTU? more like STFU

I honestly don’t even want to vote for anyone who isn’t a woman.

The funniest take I've seen is a woman absolutely dragging Team USA Men's hockey over a century to clinch their third Olympic gold medal while noting that Women's hockey has only been an Olympic sport since 1998 and the Team USA Women's Hockey has already landed 3 gold medals.

The idea that X is a proxy for the public sphere at large is a distortion effect produced by journalists, academics, and politicians themselves. It’s nowhere close to being even the most-used platform in the US—any argument that one needs to “fight for it” is absurd. 5x Bluesky and you’re at X.

✨ ✨ I mean, now would be good✨ ✨

Democrats attending the State of the Union who do not actively obstruct it are fascist collaborators.

Rubin: "There is at least one witness for whom 3 interviews with the FBI in in 2019 are missing [from the Epstein files]. What's the big deal? We can also confirm she is the same person who in a 2025 FBI presentation is identified as accusing Trump of a sexual assault when she was between 13 and 15"

The US Justice Department withheld testimony that Donald Trump sexually abused a girl when she was 13 or 14 - according to a source who viewed unredacted Epstein files. This is the worst scandal in US history and should be the biggest news story on the planet right now. www.npr.org/2026/02/24/n...

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A+ State of the Union counterprogramming by TCM.

if you actually enjoy getting mad about shit you already knew there is a person you can talk to about that and often their fee is at least partially covered by insurance if you have insurance.

just a reminder that you already know everything you need to know about the state of the union and unless you will enjoy watching it there's a million other things you can do. you don't have to be "in the loop." the loop is a trash place to be tbh

have been in a generally grumpy mood for days and felt better today and realized it's because the sun is out and i have a large glass of water. i'm literally just a plant that's been cursed with the ability to complain.

Aliya Rahman, woman who was dragged out of car by ICE in Minneapolis: "I've spent the last month learning the names of the tendons in my shoulder, because both of my shoulders are torn -- cartilage and tendons. But what I haven't learned is the names of the people who did this to me."

Social media for the next few days is going to be filled with commentary about the SOTU. What I need to emphasize is that I don’t care. Oh he said a bunch of shocking and dumb things? Duh! He’s a fucking loser. Update me when he’s either dead or removed from office.

Jennifer knows which one of us has a spine. @mizzwelch.bsky.social @ivehaditpodcast.bsky.social

I'm cackling.

This is Wiley. He has never seen snow before and wants to make sure he gets a real good look at it. For science. 12/10 (IG: smileywileydog)

just an an addendum to this, last storm he offered $19/hour with a possible increase to $28/hour after a certain amount of time worked, but i imagine that number wasn’t attractive enough so this time he was just like, $30 for everyone. adaptability!

Elizabeth Warren: "This one is to me not even open or arguable. How would the US government keep money that the Supreme Court said it did not legally collect from American businesses, that it did not legally take away from American families that ultimately paid this?"

Gonna save everyone some time. The state of the union is bad.

Mayor Mamdani shovels his constituents in Brooklyn out today

is everyone ready for the eternal panopticon

I don't think it's a good thing for society that everything is now gambling

I’ve been talking about Alysa Liu’s story about her quitting skating only to come back and become even better because she did it for herself and this came to me in a dream…

I will not be watching that bruised up senile sexual assaulter’s SOTU tonight. If I wanted to hear an ass talk, I would fart. Thank you for your attention to this matter!

For the record: Mayor Mamdani’s handling of both snow emergencies has been outstanding! He is decisive, creative, effective, compassionate, and extremely visible. He is also leveraging the greatest asset he has -the people of NYC - in a way no previous admin bothered to. Well done Mr. Mayor!

Former ICE agent: My first day training new cadets, I received secretive orders to teach them to violate the Constitution by entering homes without a warrant. I watched ICE cut classes that teach our legal system, firearms training, use of force, lawful arrests, and the limits of officers' authority

Listening to some antifascist music last night around some pretty rad people was good for the soul.

Why do I have to pretend that I'm going to print something in order to save it as a PDF. Why do I have to engage in a little ruse.

You think "the online left" is unhinged, dog please talk to an independent voter IRL. They want universal healthcare and abolish taxes. They want to dissolve the coast guard. They want to rename the army the coast guard. They want their alien implants removed, and they also want more alien implants

Why would anyone go to the White House when they can meet Flavor Flav

Formal invitation to the hockey team sent,,, if any people with connections to the hockey team wanna have them email my team my bio. I’m for real. 👍🏾👍🏾👍🏾

I ain't "gettin' by" I'm just here. Been here. It's life that's gettin' by on me

WIRED just reached out for comment on the UCLA professor we now know has a history of correspondence with Epstein—professor still has his job. WIRED is contacting me because people keep comparing and contrasting the way UCLA put me on immediate leave and fired me over posts about Charlie Kirk. SMH.

Some say that republicans should be grateful that women are seeking equality instead of revenge. But if I’m being honest, I’m kinda leaning toward revenge at this point.

whenever he is sitting around looking upset we've started calling him "Upsetti Spaghetti, the Italian cat" and i'm pretty sure it just makes him madder

genuinely so fucking funny kash patel was partying at the olympics almost simultaneously as trump was nearly assassinated by one of his own supporters again

Police in Britain arrest Peter Mandelson, a former ambassador, in probe into Epstein ties apnews.com/article/poli...

“Smash that like button!” Best I can do is roll my eyes

Every now and then, I remember that JD Vance smashed the "like" button after reading this tweet, then went back and unliked it five years later when he ran for the Senate.

if the love is real, it will always be there

I mean this is the most church counselor way of putting it, but intelligence by itself is nearly worthless. wisdom and prudence and discernment are necessary qualities for intelligence to be useful. innumerable religious scriptures have tried to explain this but yr tech bros aren't big on books

(bob dylan voice) everybody must make posts

Kurt Vonnegut stop being so applicable to all time periods of American life, you can’t do that Kurt Vonnegut, your insights are too evergreen Kurt Vonnegut

She lit up a room, like a flashbang grenade.

Please don’t be insensitive. Posting about what you enjoy is triggering to people who can’t enjoy anything