Less Than Zero is my favorite Christmas movie

My favorite portrayal of Santa Claus is the 14th Century Austrian wood-carving depicting St. Nick absolutely shredding on a vintage sunburst Strat

And not spend another Christmas in the emergency room, or at least have my clothes on this time. Amen

Personal Mandela effect: Wilford Brimley's giallo film

Some little known specialized stormtroopers of the Galactic Empire: Fog Troopers Cafeteria Troopers Lost-and-Found Troopers Partly Cloudy Troopers Cat-Herding Troopers Nap Troopers Spoiler-Alert Troopers Mindfulness Troopers

I'm ready with the 2025 wrap-up on your mother

I'm sorry, but I have to be the only Slytherin in the relationship

Some days it's a lot to process, just how bad things have gotten across all lanes of existence.

You’re in his DMs. I’m scribbling his name in crayon on a white padded wall.

GM 🖤 Happy Thursday-Monday, Monday-Friday, Monday-Monday, or whatever. Here we fucking go again...

I can’t help it. Everything’s a mess youtu.be/1JnQfKIFERU

Me, keeping my cool when a family member says something insane during the holidays

Once I consolidate power during the zombie apocalypse, join me, and I promise to abolish all this winter holiday nonsense

People say I look like a malfunctioning wheat thresher when I dance, so I guess I'm technically a dancing machine

Still the darkest, bleakest track in existence. It's beautiful

I don't know who needs to hear this, but Wolfie's fine, honey. Wolfie's just fine

Behind every good hostess is a good doggo who knows how to work a crowd

Welcome, I'm your extremely high hostess. Just toss your coats into that vortex in the corner

File this under "smooth motherfuckers"

I overshot and got almost too high to keep cooking, but I don't have a choice

💗💗💗

Establish dominance at your weekly meeting by leaving abruptly in the middle of it, declaring that you may have put your underwear on backward and can't live with the mystery any longer

Be nice to the stoned girl or answer to a crafty mini poodle ✨️🐩

I'm happy just being a cautionary example

Talk about a camping trip gone wrong 😬

I spent a lot of money on electroconvulsive therapy to get this out of my head, but the shuffle got me 😩

🔥🔥🔥

I just apologized to a wardrobe I hip-checked in case you're wondering what manner of badass you're facing here

Is Zendaya still Meechee or did she get that taken care of?

This is me and Pepper most nights, I reckon

The way they brought the orchestra in 🤌🏼

I'm planning on being high a lot this week

Still the gold standard in ditties about psychotic murderers. It was also skillfully used at the end of my favorite meta horror film

Oh boy, guys, I'm high again, and just in time to commune with the squirrels 🐿

I'm sorry, but I have to be the only Slytherin in the relationship

Pepper's Pick o' the Day:

I'm just in it for the dopamine

It's just me and my book of stickers against the world

All about me, in 60 seconds 💋

✨ Blessed Winter Solstice ✨ We honor the return of the light - a moment of renewal, reflection, and releasing what no longer serves. In this stillness, we plant new seeds and remember the inner flame that carries us through the dark. Wishing clarity, resilience, and brighter days ahead for all 🌅🕯️❄️🖤

Winning the low-speed chase to the newly opened checkout lane augers well for all the cooking I have to do today

Back off, Warchold. Seriously

<--- a suitable case for treatment

FROM CLASS TO ASS !

No more courtesy likes. You guys really need to step it up

December core

GM 🖤 Don't forget to CONSUME

All creatures have unique attributes. Mice are known mainly for stirring