My panic room is just a broom closet full of Oreos

I wish I could love myself like I love my back

I’m looking to make friends with researchers and theorists working in general relativity, quantum cosmology, black hole thermodynamics, and mathematical physics! Professors? Students? Editors? I’d love to get to know you and your work! Say hi!

Rep. Yassamin Ansari has set up a table and this sign outside Speaker Johnson’s office.

The Thing 2: Just One More Thing starring Columbo

Why just Chicago? 'Escape from USA' seems a rather fitting title :D

There's no way we get this lucky

Rebelling against my teen going to a baptist church by blasting Chappell Roan when I pick him up from Wednesday night youth group

Moevember day 6

Get several. Make sure the batteries are good. Keep your phone charged. Have some drinking water stashed.

Sometimes you just need to talk it out with your demons

I love that Mamdani is what the right claimed Obama was: A Muslim socialist born in Africa. The right practically manifested Mamdani into existence.

I’m sorry your Nazi didn’t win babe - Republican housewives

If I was gonna pick one film to introduce newbies to the world of film noir, I'd go with KISS ME DEADLY (1955) #Noirvember #filmsky

exhausted🖤

Moevember day 5

I voted ✌️

I spotted this on Mastodon and I find it horrible, not least for the speed with which this has happened.

Not many people think of baby crows, and that's a shame 🥺

This is the president of the United States taking a break from gold-and-marble interior renovations to say he’ll defy a court order to feed hungry Americans. Nero would be proud.

Uppity broad logging on

Just once I’d like the confidence of a chicken chasing a human.

I’d give you my other walkie talkie

Moevember day 4

GM 🖤

Moevember day 3

I'm the biblically accurate Disney princess

a decent bidet bids you adoo.

well don't come to Pittsburgh.

FACT: you should be sappier with your friends and loved ones. there is no reason not to be.

For you ladies at home, I recommend the mailman over the milkman, if you’re considering your options. Except for Carl, he’s a good-for-nothing scoundrel

Keep your heads on a swivel, friendos

It was the worst of times, it was the "fuck it, post" of times

Some people waited in line up for 14 hours to receive a food box from a church giveaway. 500 people volunteered to help and they still ran out of food. Remember for every one person a food bank feeds, SNAP feeds 9. By turning off food assistance the regime is starving Americans.

Another week, unleashed on an unsuspecting public

Called in to work and just played the Silent Hill siren

Fkn Monday...

This is always post-apocalyptic fitness goals, and good inspiration for me to hit my kipping, leg-pedaling, Muppet-like attempts

I need to go into winter with a solid reading list

I apologize for not solving all the world's issues and everyone's individual problems within the scope of a single character limited post on a micro-blogging app today, but I promise to give it a go tomorrow. Definitely. Maybe.

Sincere Post Alert: If you can, please consider donating to a local food bank like @foodbankrockies.bsky.social It will make you feel good and at least 25% more sexy!

Folks, I'm really sorry, but something went wrong with gravity or something, and we need to turn our clocks back another hour tonight

💗💗💗

A bleak November work week ahead - it's Madison time, hit it!

Thank you, stoners of yesteryear. I finally get it ✨️

Motherfuckers...

It would be fun to stay high for the entire work week