Air conditioner broke, but it's probably not a big deal. Now time to take a sip of water and remember which city I live in...

Do not answer a phone call from Mitch McConnell, in seven days he'll climb through your TV and take away your right to vote.

The great thing about being American is you're actually from somewhere else.

Impropriety? From the United States of America?! It is to laugh.

Plot twist: I understand all your battles, I'm the battle understander.

Humanity never fails to disappoint me.

Not the same. But I'm almost the same age a TJ when he wrote the Declaration of Independence so that's neat.

I mean, the odds of all the Americans being born on the same day is pretty astronomical.

"Webster’s Dictionary defines a wedding as the fusing of two metals with a hot torch." -MGS, TO

What a man and a woman do in the privacy of Madison Square Garden is none of my business.

Bernie Sanders WAS the compromise.

There goes everything

"Caftan", I whisper as I hurry to start my 3 day weekend.

Looking back, history was bad.

Hypothetically speaking, if I wanted to stick my head in the microwave and liquefy my brains, how many minutes are we looking at?

Vows to finally get shit together for the week; promptly locks self out of house

I use anal beads instead to free up both hands

I hate just barely being smart enough to understand how stupid I am.

Pretty neat trick typing out a post while you're clutching so many pearls.

Bosnia AND Herzegovina?! That seems a little unfair.

Writing a movie that's basically Jurassic Park, but with aliens. I'm going to call it "Jurassic Park, but With Aliens."

Before I leave work for the day I top off my water bottle and take it home. Follow me for more money saving hacks.

25 of the funniest posts we’ve seen on Bluesky this week www.thepoke.com/2026/07/01/2...

Featuring: @youngvulgarian.marieleconte.com @mooseallain.bsky.social @muyrando.bsky.social @raindro.bsky.social @unenthusiast.com and @nick-pettigrew.bsky.social Thank you very much.

Ask your doctor if prolonging your suffering at a significant cost is right for you.

*reading the Constitution* Damn! That's a lot of amendments!

What's rent look like in the backrooms, do the entities help out with chores?

I wouldn't know about having money, but I can definitely recommend against not having it.

Don't even get me started on seahorses

"Is that sarcasm?" If you don't stop asking stupid questions, it won't be.

Clearly this is a bright man

Everyone I agree with seems pretty smart, the people who I don't? Not so much.

*reading news about the USA and Iran* Me: It's like this generation's Ross and Rachel.

When I die, go through the restaurant apps on my phone and claim all the stuff I earned with my points.

there was a huge argument over whether we should keep all of our severed heads in burlap sacks or an ice chest thankfully, in the end, cooler heads prevailed

It's simple, we kill Monday.

Sea creatures are wild, it's like hey, breathe some air, stupid.

Oh no, some politicians might actually have to earn the support of voters now, the horror.

(to Oktoberfest waitress) Can I also get a giant boot of water?

You're a grown up. You can buy those mixed packs of cereal for yourself.

Enough with the hot honey already.

Too much gaba, not enough gool

God: Here is my testament. *God has a kid* God: Here is my NEW testament. Lucifer: You didn't know you were going to have a kid? God: Guess what? You're the devil now.

I do not approve of the fun you are currently having.

Like a lost puppy, I'd be a great addition to any family.

Imagine a thing, now imagine that thing is bad. Pretty messed up.

Just realized the reason I probably don't like to watch horror is I'm usually eating.

I’ve never been married or had a child- a success story

I shit you not I should think you wouldn’t And that concludes the BBC broadcast day and many bingo cards as well