What, you still here? #rapture

Sweetie, are you wearing your good underwear, it's Rapture day?

Happy Rapture Day! youtu.be/pV-_GDveft8

#HappyRaptureDay everyone! #FunFact: "Rapture" was the first rap single to top the U.S. charts. www.youtube.com/watch?v=pHCd...

"There's reason to believe maybe this fiscal year will be better than the last" - Accounting Crows

I think I said it best when I said all of the things I previously said.

Today's press conference on Autism was just the first in a new daily series from the President, addressing a multitude of medical conditions and dispensing advice to the American people, not from doctors or studies but from Mr. Trump's estimable common sense.

tylenol is basically worthless, i ate like half a bottle and guess what, still hungry

Look, it’s Heroin and Adderall ganging up on Tylenol.

On the street, it's got a dozen names. Some call 'em White Devils. Simple, classic. Some cats call 'em The Levelers, 'cause they take you from a 10 on the pain scale down to a zero. Smooths you right out. You call it Tylenol. I call it death.

Today’s autism announcement was just as bad as we feared Trump blamed Tylenol & vaccines for autism They encouraged women to just “tough out” their pain They praised people who don’t “need” meds or vaccines These are eugenicist talking points & they’re devastating to the disability community:

We’re getting fucked up on Tylenol before God arrives

You know how I know it it’s not safe to take Tylenol? A heroin addict told me so.

I'm sorry I'm not very good company right now, but I've just been through a bad breakup. - Humpty Dumpty

Trump: "We've got a lot of stupid people in this country running things."

if you’re in line to get raptured, STAY IN LINE

super fun hearing my Vietnamese refugee parents talk about fleeing their own country again, very cool country we have here

They’re only going after Tylenol because the president of the United States can’t say acetaminophen. 🤦‍♂️

it is amazing how many of these guys love to make tough boastful statements then at the slightest sign of pushback back away like little bitches

my mom took tylenol when she was pregnant, which made me super focused on menswear and now i have a million followers on twitter

I know antifa isn't a real organization because I don't get 40 texts a week from them asking for donations.

Well, there it is. Sinclair is digging in for a fight, so please help push back -- find stations in your area, watch their local news to see what ads they run, then write those advertisers to tell them you're boycotting as long as they're on a Sinclair station. List here: sbgi.net/tv-stations/

Using alt text to explain the joke.

paid a visit to the river styx this morning

This:

Knowing you'll make it through doesn't make it any easier

So tired of this fucked up world we live in. Nothing but a daily horror show slowly chipping away at all of us.

sexting in the time of cholera

I think I'll go to bed early tonight. That way, I can get up bright and early to start hating on everything first thing in the morning

You can steep your teabag in my hot water if you wanna

I only have a few friends but hopefully I’ll be able to get rid of them soon

fuck ascension i be descending into abyss

This is the only rapture I care about.

My first exposure to drag was Bugs Bunny.

Anyone having a rapture watch party?

When you're trying to come up with a fake name to tell the mall cop after he caught you stealing from Spencers

No idea huh? I wonder what the dragon's like. Is it a Grand Dragon, Stephen?

Cannot even with this guy. I just wanna squeeze him.

*mournfully shooting off a tshirt cannon into the sadly cheering funeral crowd*

my favorite subgenre of Halloween decoration is “skeleton of things that absolutely do not have skeletons”

I'm having surgery on Tuesday and I'm thinking it might be inconvenient if some of the medical team gets raptured mid procedure.

CNN: “4 US citizens, a father and his 3 children, were among 5 people killed Sunday by an Israeli air strike on southern Lebanon…” www.cnn.com/2025/09/21/m...

Does anyone know in Tuesday's Rapture if these folks get lifted right out of their cars or if the vehicles ascend with them? This is my first Rapture and I'm trying to plan my commute.

I hope I'm depressed and not just terribly lazy.

Charlie Kirk's grieving widow had just left the stage moments before the fireworks for Trump kicked off. Just so wildly and blatantly inappropriate for a memorial service for someone else. Fucking nuts.

doctor: let's start the stress test me: ok doctor: *turns on the news*

I’m completely out of control.

Our first dishwasher wasn't even a built-in model. It was an ugly beast on wheels and you had to roll it over to the sink when you were ready to use it. It had two hoses that hooked up to the sink faucet for water and drainage. Totally steam-punk.