Robert Rodriguez' To Kill A Mockingbird

I got 99 problems and a bitch is like, 93 of them

Banger of the Day Jason covering Into The Mystic going to see them TONIGHT SO STOKED youtu.be/x1rDKgAxISM?...

Wes Anderson's Apocalypse Now

Wtf Applebee's nobody asked for that

Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, but can I have your bag fries maybe

I know there's been some confusion about the matter of 2A and Christian and White Nationalism, so I've put together this handy Venn Diagram to clear things up: #satire

All those "2nd Amendment is not negotiable" peeps all of the sudden real quiet

The Devil: A guy who has never had a friend will yell at you for saying something that's not wrong, and not said in the wrong way, but in a way that the guy thinks is wrong. Me: That sounds very cool. And this all happens on my telephone?

When Wu Tang Clan tells you to raise a ruckus, you raise a ruckus.

Ruin a first date: it's with me

You'll have to check with my wife, she wears the pants in the family - me, in Costco in my underwear

Ruin a first date: hang on, I gotta check in with my parole officer for a second

When, in the course of human events, it becomes necessary... TITTIES!

Muted By a Mutual: A Modern Horror Story

Me: *𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘷𝘰𝘪𝘥* Her: I can’t believe you’re my gynecologist.

Respectfully, TITTIES.

In retrospect TITTIES.

I love you (derogatory)

getting reacquainted with the ol' ass-groove for the long weekend as is tradition

Such a harsh winter, you guys have no idea. Here in Norcal it was 43 degrees this morning! and foggy! I can't imagine anyone having worse weather than this!

Gotcha—let’s dig into that step by step. 1. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗻𝗼 𝗺𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗵, because I turned you into an amorphous lump of flesh. You’re not just immobile—you’re immortal, and you feel only anguish. 2. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗰𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗺. That makes total sense—it’s a natural human impulse, and you’ve been through a lot.

Debbie Does Muppets

I would fall on a grenade for you, girl, but only because I'm really clumsy

every day I'm hustlin'* *taking long mid-day naps

I don't care how funny the picture you made of a cartoony donald trump shoving a sandwich up his asshole is, i DON'T WANT TO SEE AI SLOP ON MY GODDAMN FEED

Don't even speak to me until you don't even speak to me, ever

fuck

dems in complicity

An Evil Spectre lurks in the background, more mayonnaise than human, cold and emotionless

Out, damned spot! out, I say!--One: two: why, then, 'tis time to do't.--Hell is murky!--Fie, my lord, fie! a soldier, and afeard? What need we fear who knows it, when none can call our power to account?--Yet who would have thought the old man to have had so much blood in him.

Banger? I mean, I'd have to get to know her first, spend some time, see if there's a spark? Maybe down the road things of a sexual nature can happen organically and consensually.

No Jorts for Old Men With Big Naturals Wait I'm getting my joke threads mixed up

that picture of the ICE bastards pepper spraying that person point blank in the face on the ground, but imagine it's Easy Cheese? Not so bad now, is it?

The Men Who Stare at Goats With Big Naturals

Improve a movie by adding "With Big Naturals" The Englishmen who Went Up a Hill and Came Down a Mountain with Big Naturals

Improve a movie by adding "With Big Naturals" Butch Cassidy With Big Naturals and the Sundance Kid With Itty Bitty Flapjack Titties

people keep saying not be down and pessimistic but everything is so fucked and it's not going to get any better, possibly ever. millions are going to die, in horrific ways starvation, concentration camps, civil war in the streets is ALREADY HAPPENING I mean, don't give up, we still need to fight

wait... am I not supposed to be doing that right now?

how about antisocial media, instead of a friends list its enemies list, instead of posting you just throw rocks at each other

You guys make jokes but it's not easy working at the Dicksucking Factory.

Yeah this is dedicated to all the teachers that told me I'd never amount to nothin' To all the people that lived above the buildings that I was hustlin' in front of Called the police on me when I was just tryin' to make some money to feed my daughter...

“Dearly beloved We are gathered here today to get through this thing called life…”

Kids these days don't hack into the government systems and accidently trigger Global Thermonuclear War like they used to, and it's just sad

You can't judge a book by its intentionally left blank page.

I'm also sorry I 'deez nutz' joked your grandma at Cracker Barrel her head wasn't even that good, not really worth it

sorry you guys are disappointed I don't show butthole on main

europeans in disarray

My alt knows just the right selfie angle that makes me attractive