JD Vance looks like yassified Chucky

A guy on the pitt just said to his doctor "are you gooning me?" and I don't think the writers know what that means

every time I give reddit another shot I see the worst thing ever

I love that this scene and the Swedish Chef operate by the same principles

fun fact: bill gates named microsoft after his dick

shit got grim there for a sec

Give us the woo woo woo

gonna get a lot of use outta this

angsty baby corn screaming "I DIDN'T ASK TO BE CORN!"

A guy on the pitt just said to his doctor "are you gooning me?" and I don't think the writers know what that means

Look maybe this'll be faster if you just tell me what you *would* touch with a ten foot pole

I bet my life would be friggen baller if my name was Joey Hotdog

Incredible stuff happening at Spencer’s Gifts

one mole thing,

my cousin texted me about his mom being really sick at the exact same moment I texted him this

It might seem mean to tell someone to log off, but when they're wishing torturous death on a stranger's cat it's really the only option

blue checks are antiheroes. "blue check" is an oppressive class, like Danish people or vegan people.

I really wish I could remember my dreams, especially the ones where I wake up with morning wood.

Before and after saying good boy

Listen carefully when you hear politicians talk about ICE. Are they saying abolish ICE or abolish Trump’s ICE. Guy running for Illinois senate has an ad saying abolish Trump’s ICE. I say that’s sneaky bullshit speak.

This dude's posture is worse than any gamer I've ever met

Finally kids can see when their parents are fucking and vice-versa.

Charlie Kirk blocked me on Twitter and then look what happened. Just don’t do it

Wow what a horrible idea www.cnet.com/tech/fitbit-...

Follow the slutty lobsters

You can always tell when a coworker learns a new word and apparently that word today is ‘deterministic’

holding people accountable is sexy af

ME: I caught Monocle Guy stealing my leftovers again. BOSS: Is that true? MONOCLE GUY: (monocle popping off) Good heavens!! ME: He’s not actually surprised. BOSS: Really? He seems surprised. MONOCLE GUY: (another monocle popping off) Dearest me!! ME: No, he’s doing a bit. BOSS: Hm. I don’t know

Why is it called a sex chair and not a bone throne

Men will wear anything to not carry a purse

If they didn't have their own holiday I would never think about groundhogs

How I stand when someone tells me to act casual

ive used old people expressions tongue in cheek since i was very young but now they just get stuck in the loose skin between my tongue and cheek.

all-timer sentence

If I say "I see a little silhouetto of a man" and you don't immediately follow up with "Scaramouche, Scaramouche, will you do the Fandango?" then we can't be friends

ICE detained multiple kids (all under the age of 10!) in the last week alone. Still kidnapping people based solely on the way they look. Still arresting parents at school pick up. Nothing has changed in Minnesota. Nice words from the Admin won’t change that. ICE leaving will.

remember kids -

FROM: G Hog <[email protected]> TO: J E <[email protected]> SENT: 2014-01-31 17:28:31 SUBJECT: Re: Re: Feb 2 messg received. shadow? what shadow? > FROM: J E <[email protected]> > TO: G Hog <[email protected]> > > want early.summer for our events =little stajames. can reciprocate

wanna come over and werner on my herzog

Back in the day if you wanted to digitally de-age someone you stuck your finger in a tub of vaseline and then smeared the camera lens. If you still needed to make the actor look younger you'd make sure everyone on set was piss-drunk.

This looks like a still from a failed NBC mid-season replacement called Lawyer and The Pervert

Yahoo with the frontrunner for Most Insane Social Graphic of 2026

soup of the day: an extra squirt of big mac sauce

Abolish ICE. There’s no reforming it. There’s no compromise. There’s only one way to rein in ICE’s terror campaign. Abolish it.

punxsutawney phil is in the epstein files