DeeDastardly
@mydmac.bsky.social
π€ 5644
π₯ 354
π 621
Dignity is overrated.
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:lide4pmipalr44al3prwz4hv/feed/aaaniuz2cpqlg
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Popcorn ceilings just arenβt as tasty as youβd think.
about 1 year ago
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I still have a passionate love of *life. *naps
about 23 hours ago
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Choosing to be slothful and not ruthless is a professional goal.
3 days ago
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I can't wait until I'm really old so I can bore people by making 30 second stories last for hours then relating it all back to the weather.
3 days ago
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π±πππ ππππππππ
3 days ago
Thereβs an unexpected item in the teabagging area.
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Deeks π«Ά
3 days ago
Redoing my resume in all emojis in an attempt to stay relevant
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Itβs been so long since I shopped for groceries itβs just the string cheese keeping me alive.
7 days ago
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Brick's House π
8 days ago
Can any reply people out there tell me what a rhetorical joke is?
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Jake_Vig
9 days ago
Social media 2% useful news 7% clever and/or funny posts 3% useful or interesting political posts 1% interesting pics or images 87% the absolute worst
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Marc
10 days ago
On average, I spend about $150 a year to watch bananas turn brown.
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Love means never having to say sorry for your misuse of your and youβre.
9 days ago
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20 years ago you could never have said that your Yeti smelled like Pina Colada without people thinking you were a pervert. What a wonderful time to be alive.
9 days ago
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stefan
9 days ago
a vampire who hunts down his own kind, fueled by the rage of being burdened with the dark gift he never desired and deprived him of his true love: garlic bread
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Danny
10 days ago
Does it seem more respectful to say Mature Woman than Ole Miss?
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πππ π¨π¦
15 days ago
At my age, my hobbies now include: finding a comfortable position, and regretting what I ate.
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I wanted to become an undertaker but the industry is dead.
11 days ago
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2 factor authentication but for people who knock at your door.
11 days ago
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Blair Loudly
11 days ago
a yellow submarine would really stick out i dont think the beatles ever saw a real submersible
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Open Doorley, Antidepressant Season Acknowledger
14 days ago
Just read a great financial times article about how to safely burn furniture for warmth
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Kelly
10 months ago
I'm afraid the price of dirty deeds has risen precipitously due to tariffs and inflation
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Dammit, my clothes have shrunk again.
over 1 year ago
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Diet day 1 I have removed all the bad food from the house. It was delicious.
about 2 years ago
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Brick's House π
17 days ago
Ballpoint pens were once a huge advance in technology but here in 2026 we have 14 ways to spell Jackson
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I celebrate the New Year like most people, joyful in the knowledge that Iβm another year closer to retirement.
16 days ago
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FRONT TOWARD ENEMY
16 days ago
Hang on I gotta put a fake tree in the basement until November
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presentdadππ»ββοΈ
about 1 year ago
kate bush running past sisyphus
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los π¦¦
17 days ago
A bel biv devoe bahn mi shop called that girl is hoisin
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I keep my friends close, but my cheese and wine closer.
5 months ago
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My life is loosely based on a true story.
about 1 year ago
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I've always respected and admired people who think before they speak.
6 months ago
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Bogey
6 months ago
Every day a new test of my composure.
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Jimmer Cork-Bottle
6 months ago
Be yourself; everyone else is already Batman.
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Sam
6 months ago
I think it would be cool to merge retirement homes, childrenβs homes, and animal shelters. A community where older people teach young children about life and take care of abandoned animals together. I bet it would do wonders for everyone involved.
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A Shot of Steveβ’ β‘οΈ
6 months ago
The United States is the new Evil Empire.
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You think you know fear, I've seen me naked.
6 months ago
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I know that you know that I know that you know that I know what you did last summer. So now you know.
6 months ago
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Skip βSkippyβ Skipperson
6 months ago
βPut them in the freezer, weβll make banana bread with themβ and other lies we tell ourselves.
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DeeDastardly
Veruca's Alt
6 months ago
Nothing good comes from putting on pants.
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I only get called βladyβ by little kids who donβt know any better.
6 months ago
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π±πππ ππππππππ
over 1 year ago
Good news, guys. My shitshow has been renewed for a second season.
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Dak
6 months ago
My toxic trait is thinking I can fix my entire life by buying a new notebook.
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Nate's Myth
6 months ago
busy ghosts keep a to-boo list
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Canadian Bacon
6 months ago
I love watching the sun rise, but I prefer not to be driving to work when it happens.
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DeeDastardly
π±πππ ππππππππ
6 months ago
Her: Howβs your anger management therapy going? Me: Long time no seethe.
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Dan Cerinthedark
6 months ago
In these awful times, itβs important to remain sexy in our own stupid fucked up little ways
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The older I get the more I regret not having told more people to fuck off.
6 months ago
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Blair Loudly
6 months ago
ugh sequels. charlie xcx? how many chocolate factories does that kid need to go to?
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I got stuck behind a learner driver on the way to work this morning. I learned so much, it was awesome.
6 months ago
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*watching exciting ending of action movie Wow, I wonder how they keep those floors so shiny?
6 months ago
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Deeks π«Ά
6 months ago
It's not graffiti. That building wanted a tattoo
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Wilbur72
6 months ago
Iβd fight a bear* for you . . . . (*teddy)
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