DeeDastardly
@mydmac.bsky.social
π€ 5634
π₯ 355
π 628
Dignity is overrated.
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:lide4pmipalr44al3prwz4hv/feed/aaaniuz2cpqlg
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Popcorn ceilings just arenβt as tasty as youβd think.
about 1 year ago
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Twin Dad
13 days ago
I can't understand the words to Funky Cold Medina. I guess you could say I'm Tone Loc deaf.
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Twin Dad
11 days ago
I could go for a nice cuddle and maybe a butt grab.
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CrazyMyra
21 days ago
I'm so old that when I first saw it in the cinema it was just called Star Wars.
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Lizzlepants π
9 days ago
they say dress for the job you want so I wear my pajamas to work every day
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My house has a bed and I can eat breakfast whenever I want. Why would I pay someone for theirs? Crazy
5 days ago
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Tana
about 1 month ago
PLEASE, get comfortable with going to events, movies, concerts, coffee shops, museums by yourself so you don't miss out on life waiting for people.
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bacon popsicle βοΈ πποΈ
6 days ago
sommelier: would sir care for wine? me: care for it? Iβd nurture it like itβs my first born
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Dreamer
6 days ago
Fact: sperm whales call humans βjizz monkeysβ
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I have survived multiple encounters with bears. They were teddy bears but you get my point.
6 days ago
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BooBooKitty
13 days ago
More like edaMamaMia, amirite!
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A Dr once slapped a beer from my hand. I drink wine now.
12 days ago
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DeeDastardly
BrujoLocoβ οΈπ€πΊ
about 1 month ago
Look me in the ass and tell me you love me.
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Dan Cerinthedark
26 days ago
Dad: Figure skating? How about you figure out how to get a job
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My bank account is crying.
26 days ago
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Eric Replatformed
about 1 month ago
The only cause worth dying for imo is a high cholesterol diet.
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π±πππ ππππππππ
about 1 month ago
She was dazzling, like a laser pointer to the eyeballs.
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Danny
about 2 months ago
How do I become anticrastinating?
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Being cynical is the new happy.
about 1 month ago
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ash
about 1 month ago
But, I dont want to play the sane one today.
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Juiceticles
over 1 year ago
If someone calls me "dog," I take that as a green light to mount them and assert my dominance.
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CrazyMyra
about 1 month ago
I'm running out of room for another "I told you so" tattoo.
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DeeDastardly
ash
about 1 month ago
Coexistence has been canceled.
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DeeDastardly
Jimmer Cork-Bottle
about 1 year ago
Breakfast is the most important gin absorber of the day.
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Brick's House π
about 1 month ago
'Clench' is an intrinsically funny word. Anyway, crapped my pants at the train station again
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Why read about dystopian societies when you can just live in them.
about 1 month ago
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I still have a passionate love of *life. *naps
about 2 months ago
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Choosing to be slothful and not ruthless is a professional goal.
about 2 months ago
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I can't wait until I'm really old so I can bore people by making 30 second stories last for hours then relating it all back to the weather.
about 2 months ago
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π±πππ ππππππππ
about 2 months ago
Thereβs an unexpected item in the teabagging area.
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Deeks π«Ά
about 2 months ago
Redoing my resume in all emojis in an attempt to stay relevant
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Itβs been so long since I shopped for groceries itβs just the string cheese keeping me alive.
about 2 months ago
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Brick's House π
about 2 months ago
Can any reply people out there tell me what a rhetorical joke is?
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Jake_Vig
about 2 months ago
Social media 2% useful news 7% clever and/or funny posts 3% useful or interesting political posts 1% interesting pics or images 87% the absolute worst
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Marc
about 2 months ago
On average, I spend about $150 a year to watch bananas turn brown.
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Love means never having to say sorry for your misuse of your and youβre.
about 2 months ago
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20 years ago you could never have said that your Yeti smelled like Pina Colada without people thinking you were a pervert. What a wonderful time to be alive.
about 2 months ago
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DeeDastardly
stefan
about 2 months ago
a vampire who hunts down his own kind, fueled by the rage of being burdened with the dark gift he never desired and deprived him of his true love: garlic bread
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DeeDastardly
Danny
about 2 months ago
Does it seem more respectful to say Mature Woman than Ole Miss?
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DeeDastardly
πππ π¨π¦
2 months ago
At my age, my hobbies now include: finding a comfortable position, and regretting what I ate.
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I wanted to become an undertaker but the industry is dead.
about 2 months ago
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2 factor authentication but for people who knock at your door.
about 2 months ago
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DeeDastardly
Blair Loudly
about 2 months ago
a yellow submarine would really stick out i dont think the beatles ever saw a real submersible
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DeeDastardly
Open Doorley, Antidepressant Season Acknowledger
about 2 months ago
Just read a great financial times article about how to safely burn furniture for warmth
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DeeDastardly
a figment of your imagination
12 months ago
I'm afraid the price of dirty deeds has risen precipitously due to tariffs and inflation
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DeeDastardly
Dammit, my clothes have shrunk again.
almost 2 years ago
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DeeDastardly
Diet day 1 I have removed all the bad food from the house. It was delicious.
about 2 years ago
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DeeDastardly
Brick's House π
2 months ago
Ballpoint pens were once a huge advance in technology but here in 2026 we have 14 ways to spell Jackson
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I celebrate the New Year like most people, joyful in the knowledge that Iβm another year closer to retirement.
2 months ago
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DeeDastardly
FRONT TOWARD ENEMY
2 months ago
Hang on I gotta put a fake tree in the basement until November
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DeeDastardly
presentdadππ»ββοΈ
about 1 year ago
kate bush running past sisyphus
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