I tried manifesting feeling younger and woke up with a zit on my nose. Fml

*points to sign* Can anyone help out? Kelly is good peeps. 👇

I think I've applied to all the jobs

Friend: Let's get together! What's your calendar look like? Me: Same picture of a dog on it till next month

I’ve held doors open for people I should’ve pushed off a cliff

I just got a thank you email from the hiring manager at the bank where I'd interviewed & didn't get the job. she'd been on PTO all last week when I got the automated rejection email, and was just following up. it didn't change the outcome, but it did make me feel a little more like a human being

We need younger people in government because it’s way easier to get meds for erectile dysfunction than executive dysfunction

This hasn’t been resolved $948 is still due in almost 4 hours to keep us temporarily sheltered for 7 more nights 55% goal progress has to be made within 4 hours Possible if anyone helps and shares linktr.ee/hiitsbritt #mutualaid #helpsky #bipocma #fundsky #disabilitycrowdfund #mutualaidvoid

The five stages of grief but it's just me realizing I have to leave my house

✨ manifesting an interview at the hospital ✨

it probably feels so good to do something with your life

Damn, you know you're getting old when you get up in the morning and have to rest for awhile.

I honestly have nothing intelligent to add today, so buttholes.

I'm like rejection sensitive dysphoria if it was a person

My sister just said FYI stands for Fuck You, Idiot.

me crying after watching Lilo & Stich off too many edibles: Obama means family

happy to announce i have officially agreed to step into a new role as CEO of apple inc. starting immediately apple inc has not agreed

After building the best public education system in the world brought us the Counterculture and the Anti-War Movement, conservatives in the US began a 50+ year assault to destroy public education.

I like when an actor who usually plays Weird Little Freaks gets to play a *different* kind of Weird Little Freak than the type of Weird Little Freak they usually play

Magnolias are an ancient species of tree pollinated by beetles because they evolved prior to bees. What are you even doing with your life, you piece of shit.

who, me? dissociating while fantasizing about having an income and health insurance again

Nuclear dust in the wind, All we are is nuclear dust in the wind

I’ve definitely told someone "I’m almost there" while I was still standing in my bathroom in a towel, debating if I even want to go.

i did it, i smoked all the weed. sorry guys

this is just a @bornmiserable.bsky.social appreciation post. He's funny, artistically talented and also, simply, kind. He's helped me at times I've been down and I know that I'm one of many people he's helped, in any number of ways. so just want to say: thank you ❤️

the kalshi guy looks like he came up with the idea for his stupid betting app while stuck in a k-hole and staring at a kashi granola bar

Coachella is trying to wipe all of the footage of The Strokes protest set so I’m gonna post it here. The last images on the screen made me cry.

So close

you think ancient rome had sunglasses with VV protection

I can’t believe the company that’s founded by a fascist vampire and named after an evil wizard‘s all seeing stone has some fucked up ideas about politics.

ive known a lot of stoners and I think they smoke pot on the not 420 days too

whenever I see the tip defaulted to 30% on one of those nifty machines it feels like friendly fire in the class war

They need to stop publishing books until I’m caught up reading them all.

They should write a song about a tart Caroline, maybe even a savory Caroline.

Did you know that therapy takes more than one appointment? Just found out and i am LIVID

The Jerusalem Cross is a symbol of the Crusades. Disingenuous people argue it’s “just a representation of Christianity and not bigoted” But we all fucking know the Crusades was about massacring anyone that wasn’t Christian. Pete Hegseth has a HUGE one tattooed on his chest It’s a symbol of hate.

Anyone by chance going to the sleep store anytime soon

so what I'm hearing here is that I need to annoy more people for this to be a profitable endeavor

there's still time

Apparently, the perfect amount of potato chips is more.

I put the fun in defunct

4/20 - St. Patrick's Day for weed.

4/20 post herb

there's still time

Me, opening the fridge: Hmm..nothing.. Lettuce in a bag: Hey! Me: Nothing, indeed

sorry if i seem kinda dumb today, it’s just that i’m dumb

universal feelings of soul-crushing rejection amirite

420 day is when you eat a whole pi and watch star wars

I'm going to dissociate, does anyone need anything?

Chat I really hate doing this but I got slammed with a surprise $1200 bill and I don’t have enough money rn to pay the $480 in utility bills which are due immediately. So if you have a couple spare bucks to chip in I’d appreciate it and I’ll even post boobs later in appreciation.