No Noise November. everybody shut up

Every year I try to Mariah Carey "I don't know her" to my seasonal depression. Yet every yr its Will Smith and I'm Chris Rock.

If I owned a restaurant, I'd replace all the fries with hot dogs without telling anyone.

Mid life crisis mutant ninja turtles

I wasn't feeling myself enough today to make a video but this is part of the haul of the donation drop-off. I'm trying to make each hat different from the last. They went to a woman's shelter. Doing another drop next sat, trying to beat this week's #. Thanks to all who helped me or helped others

Hoping to meet a hot werewolf tonight

Me, with no evidence whatsoever, “omg she hates me”

If you’re thinking what I’m thinking, here’s a pillow to scream into.

Some days it's a middle finger to all the love songs.

Doing a drop off tomorrow for the hats I've crocheted so far. I've only made about 10 but I plan on doing a drop once a week. I'll include pics for anyone interested. Not as a brag but so the ppl who donated can see progress. Ty for those who donated, shared, or who are donating on their own. 💙🧶

Today's goal: not engaging with people who get their news from Facebook.

Realizing I only forwarded that email to 9 people in 2007 and am most definitely cursed.

I’m sorry your Nazi didn’t win babe - Republican housewives

don't ever let anyone make you forget how hot you are

sus af at the mere notion of something good

The amount of Republicans winning local elections should shock me. Yet here I remain, unshocked.

*dies from a teams meeting that should have been an email*

My cats respect the time change the way dump Trump respects the constitution.

Every time a senior citizen dies and people are shocked by the news, my first thought is "well you didn't have pets growing up".

No one called me crazy today. .....there's always. tomorrow.

Saturday vid'de'ohhhhhh

I'm not saying my cat is Batman but I do know I've never seen them in a room at the same time.

Social media is shit when I'm trying to keep track of stitch count.

have you guys heard of this show called “friends”

pringels, and it's chip shaped fruit strips in a can

if it helps you can picture me naked when you skeet

I’m smart like if a cat started doing math unprompted and then immediately fell into a well.

As a wise philosopher once said, a fondue setup would fix me

Your request to not make it weird was returned to sender.

What you would say: "Take a look at this painting." What Prince would have said: "Dig if you will a picture."

Gonna tell everyone my nickname is Big Mac with absolutely zero explanation.

A few yrs ago I did a small charity. People would either send me yarn or $ for yarn and I made hats/scarves/blankets/mittens. I took them to homeless & women's shelters. I had 4 xlarge bags full of items. Its a little late in the season but I'm going to start again. If you want to help, let me know

You ever read a headline "local man facing charges after being caught w/gun at airport" and your FIRST thought is "well I know who they voted for"

I wish we could return to a simpler time before the Internet and pants.

I feel like "MAGAsplaining" should be a word.

Another day, another nightmare.

some bitches just love weaving tangling webs

People say "I'll see you in Hell," but then when you get there they act like they don't even know you.

I don’t have any answers, but I do have a few good questions.

Sometimes you shit the post and sometimes the post shits you

Planning out all the amok I need to run in the next few weeks.

Ancient Rome: boring, overdone, nerdy Ancient Gnome: intriguing, new, wears a strawberry for a hat

"Florida Man" can just be reduced to "Man" because we are just that fucking dumb and never limited by geography.

Summoning a bunch of dancing skeletons turned out much creepier than I expected.

Playing the "how long can I wait before turning the heat on THIS year" has commenced!

be the green flag you wanna see in the world

It's a GIVE ME ALL THOSE EMPTY CALORIES sort of day. You get it.

A psychic just followed me. *rubs temples* I see winning lottery tickets in my future.