Why does Dick Cheney sound more like a bad piercing decision.

I was just sitting here wondering how to spell bananas, the Hollaback Girl came on. Am I a witch?

Fluke, marlin, krill.

you’re pretty cool but you know what would make you even cooler? using alt text

this is where I post from if you even care

Fake it til you make it or just do it forever

you never spin me right round like a record baby anymore

Good news is I don’t really pay attention to who follows me, so if the alexxia bots ever return, I won’t know.

ER Doc: so what brings you in today? Me: I thought she said she liked ships in a butthole… Doc: Me:

I haven’t been able to spend as much time here lately, and I forget how weird all you fuckers are. (Complementary)

I miss my first ever social media friend, Tom from MySpace.

Me, as a therapist: Have you tried posting butthole about it?

Yes, sometimes I like my own skeets. But only the bangers.

ego-conscious shitposters recycle their bangers

Just thinking, it’s weird that the most racist song I remember from my youth was Me So Horny by 2 Live Crew.

I touched grass a couple of days ago. It’s honestly overrated. It feels kind of like Christmas tree garland.

I see folks changing their name for thanksgiving. Should I go with Jason the Turkey? Jason the Racist Uncle? Or maybe Jason the Lions Lose Again?

RFK JR is still running from that dude who passed out. Fight or flight.

Growing up I would watch Eight is Enough, and quite honestly, eight is way too much.

if I ever disappear just tell my family they still owe me money

when i accidentally open the front camera

should be a snack bar button on this site

in europe she's known as Kilometery Cyrus thank youuuuuhh

I don’t log in here for a couple of days and @bbkittyfck.bsky.social comes back. Someone should put a frickin bell on her or something.

unsure if the NHL or Ric Flair is responsible for conditioning me to echo a 'wooo!' when I hear one

I remember being excited when Fetterman defeated Walker. Now I’m wondering if Walker would have been so bad. At least we knew who Walker was sucking off.

It’s fucking snowing outside. What the hell?

I’ll be honest with y’all because we’re friends. My laziness is probably the only reason I’m still alive.

Even if you miss Greg day, It's never too late to gregpost.

hahaha all my pictures have been NFTs you guys owe me so much money

If you see this post a los

I don’t have a backup plan because I only go forward. Also, I’m really bad at backing up.

In the words of Pink Floyd, we don’t need no education. But also in the words of Pink Floyd, money.

Just got home from the gym and whoever said working out was good for your mental health is full of shit.

poking at your very dead looking skeet with a stick...

Hungry, hungry hippo led me to believe hippos were hungry, but fun. Turns out it was only half right.

So it seems X is now just a stew of porn and bigotry. Sounds like a bad band name.

Can you shave your nuts in November… is what this has me wondering

I didn’t go on here for a couple of days, and boy did y’all skeet a lot.

Which came first, no shave November or no nut November?

“Your skeets are so bad I smacked your mom.” - Freud

Dire Straits promised us money for nothing and chicks for free. I guess their name should have given them away.

Now that it’s dark at 6pm maybe it’s a good time to get on schedule with all my European friends.

Starting a business making fake hands for your pets. Calling it Faux Paws. (This probably exists but I’m not checking)

Watching people fight to survive in the jungle on Naked and Afraid and honestly I’m a little jealous.

I know I say no DMs, but every once in a while it wouldn’t be so bad.

zohran mamdani wouldn’t last 3 minutes in andrew cuomo’s mom’s vagina

So today I was invited to several signal chats, so now I’ve got than in addition to Bluesky, Mastodon, and Discord to keep up with. BTW, does anyone know who P. Hegs is and why he’d be chatting with me about bombing boats? Does he want to play battleship?

My favorite thing about concerts is the choice between a $20 cocktail made with shitty whisky or $15 for a giant can of shitty beer.