"Sorry, but you're not the 36th caller. No REO Speedwagon tickets for you!"

I'm at the mechanic right now and "Jingle All the Way" is on TV. Arnold's wife and son don't recognize him when he's in the Turbo Man costume. How the hell do you not recognize a six-foot-two guy with that chin and that accent?

Sure. Trainspotting and Requiem for a Dream both told me that's a wonderful idea.

Remembering when one of my colleagues said he got to interview Bad Manners, but they were all very polite. Never meet your heroes, I guess.

I don't want to have parasocial relationships with streamers. I want to have paranormal relationships with cryptids.

Good Morning Vietnam fact: The actual "Good Morning Vietnam" guy, Adrian Cronauer, can be heard in Street Fighter (1994) saying "Good Morning Shadaloo" at the beginning and end of the movie. Yes, that's really him.

How long is post-convention blues supposed to last? I got to GM three games in two days, and that was rad. And now I haven't run anything for anyone in like two weeks.

Goon a movie What We Goon in the Shadows

This is the part where I admit I've never seen Hook.

I know I'm late to the party. But that whole TwitchCon situation seems like it was handled so poorly, it almost surpasses negligence and goes straight to malice. At least that's how it looks to me.

Ninja Assassin is still severely underrated. It's one of those movies that does what it says on the tin. You will see a dude's neck get opened like a keg at a frat party. And that's just one of several kills. It's some top-notch stuff.

"Oh, man! The Wind Fish is woke! Now Koholint Island is ruined!"

Shakes the Clown.

Cyberpunk RED and Street Wolves.

Betty Crocker, punk rocker Betty Crocker, punk rocker Punk rocker, Betty Crocker Betty Crocker, punk rocker Easy Bake oven Eat that muffin Betty Crocker, punk rocker Oh yeah

Facebook keeps showing me ads for dice.

Change a letter, make a singer/band less appealing: Poo Fighters

Nobody: Absolutely freakin' nobody: My dumb brain: "...Bars on a Cadillac Brougham."

Grosse Pointe Blank

I've decided to be the change I wish to see in the universe. I'm going to write a gift guide for cyberpunk / sci-fi TTRPG players. Should be coming out in the next few days. Feel free to put suggestions in the replies here.

A shirtless Hank Hill getting shivved counts as "adult content."

"Bobby, all I'm saying is 'Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles' was a poorly disguised ripoff of 'Small Wonder.' They had a robot who looked like a girl, and they had to send her to school and pretend she was human."

Sure it wasn't a large alligator the size of a small alligator?

Spell your name with TV shows Batman: The Animated Series RoboCop: Alpha Commando It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia American Gladiators Name That Tune

Imagine working at Tomato Mart. This is your entire shift, just hearing this 20-second song looping over and over again. You realize you're in hell. #Shenmue

Change a letter, make a singer less appealing: Ray Porker Jr.

"Hank! Bethesda is trying to remaster New Vegas! They'll probably turn it into microtransaction hell, loaded up with buggy slop Vault-Tec DLC!" "Dale, are you all right?" "Never better, Hank! Why?" "Most of your conspiracy theories are nonsense. But that one's probably true."

My wife sometimes watches anime where most of the dialogue sounds like "AAAAAAAAAAAGGGHHHHH!" And I'm like "What's this one called? Brian's Internal Monologue?"

The MegaMan Battle Network games represent a dystopian future in which kids walk around with AI companions in their pockets. The schools don't teach math, science, history, art, or language. They only teach how to use the AI.

Some of you haven't been hailing Raatma lately, and it shows.

Bougie and lame: Taking a spa day to relax. Based and rad: Taking a ska day to relax.

"I'm sorry, Bobby. You're gonna need to hand over your character sheet so it can be disposed of properly." "My 5E DM never has a character die, Dad." "Well, your 5E DM thinks a dragon can be talked down with a simple charisma roll."

When I made my anime and video game-inspired wrestlers for World Wide Wrestling, I tried to make parodies of recognizable characters and archetypes. One of the characters who didn't make the cut was "Jimmy Chromefingers," a cyberpunk pastiche.

Posting on Bluesky. You?

Mega Infinity waits until November to drop what might be track of the year.

It's a really dumb goal for me to have. But at my next convention, I want to give other GMs and players "table envy." I want them to look at my table and think "I wish I signed up for that game, instead of more 5E."

Get to know your mutuals, list 10 random things you like: Tabletop RPGs Cheesy horror movies Cyberpunk fiction Ska Horrorpunk Junk cereal Dice Synthwave Retro gaming Chili

Playing Battleship with Brutus. "A2. Wait, dude, why are you crying?"

I need a new alternator. This sucks.

"Do y'all like Huey Lewis and the News, Boomhauer?"

I don't like that Domino's lets me GPS track my driver. I'd rather just assume the pizza's going to get here, and skip the surveillance.

I had to spend part of my Saturday visiting Frankenmuth. I think I would have preferred Guillermo Del Toro's Frankenmuth.

Ruin a Transformer's name by changing a letter: Blister

What's with dudes lately? Yesterday I was at a restaurant, and a dude was telling the employee she's look better if she smiled. And last week I was at an anime convention. Enough said. Did you know you can just not say that stuff? That's totally an option.

#TTRPG GMs: What's your policy for a cat walking onto the table and knocking over minis? Personally, I start handing out damage to the affected players, and I call it "force majeure." But how do you handle it?

We need a new D&D moral panic: "WotC can't be allowed to monopolize the tabletop RPG space."

I'm going to keep hammering this: Unsweetened vanilla almond milk is the game-changer your cereal needs. You don't have to be vegan or health-conscious or whatever. You just have to enjoy cereal that tastes good.

I'm having cereal at like 12:45 am because I'm a grown man.

Some french onion soup and a Wendy's spicy chicken sandwich would fix me.

Me showing up in your timeline.