Good morning you capitalist whore you ready to whore yourself out to corporate America

Well I mean I'm sure there's a lot of people who want to see your butthole

Important update It's been over 3 weeks since I peed my pants

Today's the day.

Oh jeez I don't know how to tell you this but you're too ugly to have your picture on a billboard

Oh boy, I don't know how about you shut up for an hour

Fucker Has Nerve To Be 22 Years Old

Good morning Rent is due

This is a @beesknees.bsky.social appreciation skeet she is an amazing mother and wife she's kind and smart and beautiful she been there for me through everything I love you

The universe has no obligation to explain itself to you

There are 2 explanations for how the universe came to be everything came from a huge explosion or a supernatural all knowing being created and went silent tbh both of those make no sense to me

420 ho

Between the words pantaloons and trousers I can't decide which is funnier. Pantaloons is obviously absurd if you say it 100 times but trousers is a more refined shitpost and quickly decays into nonsense after only a few utterances Wife: what? Why would you say that? I was just about to cum

420 bitches

horny for alt text

hiding my airplane drugs on my clit, where they’ve never been safer

I’m just a girl, standing in front of a 1950s husband, begging to be lobotomized.

1. Girls dont poop 2. She has a powder room like Mariah Carey 💓

Big news update I got a haircut

Now I this pig uses the hard R and beats his wife

I had to pay the aipc tax to fund a bullshit war nobody wants yay America

Doctor should get paid by the patient ⌚️⏰️⌛️

JOB INTERVIEWER: What are your greatest weaknesses? ME: Probably cheese.

Well my dog whiskey got a haircut and a bow tie go head be mean tell him he's ugly and has no rizz because you're a miserable jerk and he cant read so he won't be hurt

You're pissing me off today *gestures to the world

I took the wife to an appointment they had hgtv on they said the funniest thing I have heard in a while "I picture a young 1st time home buyer looking at this house" 😂 😂😂 yeah all those 25 year olds lining up to buy houses

can’t, having productive negotiations with high ranking imaginary officials

Who's up pickle surfing

@profanity.accountant How much profanity have I used

Who invented anal sex

🤔 Silverstein buys LA building gets insurance for terrorism Isreal is very unpopular rn and there's issues with airport security I think I seen this movie in 2001

Cheese is my favorite kind of cheese.

they should invent a type of physical therapy that involves eating cheese

I admire @beesknees.bsky.social so much she just had foot surgery and still went to work to help provide for her family I hope the kids pick up that work ethic you're my hero baby I love you so much

Isreal war against Iran is costing me a lot of money the aipac tax is so high right now

I’ve been referred to as a cheese filled dough ball, and I approve that statement.

This is my friend Norm

Went to the middle school concert took 3 guys to kick my ass and throw me out after I threw tomatoes at the kids and make them cry last time it only took two 💪🏼

It's @beesknees.bsky.social birthday

I'm the funniest account on bluesky if you don't follow any other people

i don’t do “in this economy” jokes. that would require an economy.

I remember when bluesky was all about the buttholes

Unemployed Man Considers Going Back To School To Become AI https://theonion.com/unemployed-man-considers-going-back-to-school-to-become-ai/

sending my best nudes to the first five people who reply in the comments

It's 4/20 for drunks Happy St Patrick's day

i ignore people who don't like cheese

When you're trying to put a hiest crew together

The gays of Hormuz would never