leaning on the guardrails

sometimes i write like english is my second language, other times my third or fourth

@moderation.bsky.app i think i figured out what the problem is. theyre called skeets, that’s why “posts” aren’t loading

i wanna buy a really good hug i do not have a job but i can pay in blood or kohls cash

abominable skeet

yet¡

i don't want to live in a world where we have benches you can't nap on

wonder what the C is for hmm

claude broke my reginos

"i am become claude, destroyer of bluesky" -sloppenheimer

bells on bobtails ring...

beware all ides really

beware the ides of april as well

but babe,

i thought it was a little late for roll call

present

Today's poop is brought to you by the letters B and M, and the number 2.

fraternal order of dysmantlers

Every day.

...

first date idea: you let me go go gadget creampie

your pinned post is the amuse bouche of your account

more cookie monster than human at this point

gatorade, now with real alligator juice

i try not to be fickle, but never for very long

nobody's opinion on this matters, i am delicious

probably gonna be pretty checked out this weekend, still haven't caught up on all the onlyfans creme egg vids from last weekend

sorry for how I am

Hello, my name is James, and I'm addicted to short stories. It started once upon a time during a dark and stormy night...

at least google is capable of saying "thank you for pointing this out so i could correct it" wish more people were

so i turned it into a joke because if i don't turn things into jokes the devil wins

skeets that continue to age like wine

I just slow-blinked at a baby

crumbling like a sexy biscuit

please don't say my name three times into the mirror. I struggle enough responding to texts.

why should you never trust your lungs

wit yo thirsty ass

Cigarettes that moan when you smoke them

if i were to say hi, would anyone think maybe it was directed at them, anyway, hi

imagine there's a whole ass story leading up to the punchskeet, because there usually is and in at least a portion of it, we bumpin the finest of uglies

adding some kerfuffle to the shenanigans

if i knew how to spell some if this stuff y'all would be in for some treats

guess you could say i'm toast(milque)

Maybe I would remember your kid's name if it were more like a pet's name did ya ever think of that

would you still love me if i was a wormhole

When a dog goes "urf urf hruuufff!" and wiggles their feet in their sleep, that's the good shit right there

*throws phone into combine harvester*

the first guy to say “we’ll circle back” really thought he invented time travel for cowards

There is an #Artemis II press conference on right now and we are learning that the crew has to use the Collapsable Contingency Urinal devices for number 1 but the space toilet is go for number 2 🙃