Taking a gymkata correspondence course

The current state of things is my sleep paralysis demon

Wait. Hold up. I thought tyranny was when you're forced to wear a mask, not when your government sends paramilitary thugs in to gas, beat, kidnap, and disappear people.

Don't worry ICE abductees, a BlueSky user boycotted Target today

Water drinkers be like: "I sure do like peeing every 15 minutes."

naming my second kid lifted truck

I see your posts and they suck. Mine do, too. But yours are extra sucky.

namig my firstborn son ai slop

I have never seen a president who does nothing but fucking talk all goddamn day long like the raving lunatic. Jfc, he just fucking rambles on and on and on like a fucking nut. I don't get it. He's threatening other countries, created a Gestapo, etc. How is he still here? WTF

The amount of AI slop videos I see on here is too damn high

The best part of Trumps speech will be the hot mic’s after it.

I'm old enough to remember when the Earth was flat

go live on bluesky???? babe i barely wanna go live in my own life

Becoming some kind of person

💕 does this mean heart squared?

my winter skin

The Saint of Morning Flatulence blessed me a thousand times over this morning 🙏

________________ | | | What's | | your | | | | Sign 🪧 | | ______________| | | (\__/) | | (•ㅅ•) | | / っ | |

Coexistence has been canceled.

Everybody in the spot coveting the ancient rune I stole from a mysterious vagabond.

Becoming a wizard

I was acquitted of murder but found guilty of man's laughter. In my defense, it was a pretty funny trial.

🎵 Sweet movocaaaaaine 🎵

Keeping Up With The Kevorkians

French fries

Remember car sex..good times. <inspirational>

Bring me cookies

Blah blah blah blah blah blah

which type of pokemon are tribbles

can holodeck safeties prevent stds

What up

not young sheldon, it's fetal sheldon. beware fetal sheldon syndrome

MAGA patriotism is terrorism

I like saying dumb shit on the internet

80s movies made believe that there would be way more new clothes montages

Opening an all-male brothel called Tips 'n' Tricks

Lurking around the insane asylum for tips and tricks.

Every answer is guaranteed to be the *honest truth. *not all answers will be truthful

AI stands for Ass Itch

keep a hot dog rolling heater in my night stand drawer so i can have a hot dog in the middle of the nite and not have to get out of bed

Wearing out my welcome

u can enjoy my poasts without even knowign how to read its all about the vibes

Thursdays suck. Nothing ever happens on a Thursday. We should replace it with Cumday.

Entering my dumbfuck era

Becoming disheveled