Going into the family *business *having a child and psychologically scarring them for life

How many times a day do you think about butts?

my haters are constructing a low-voltage perimeter fencing system to contain me

The pedophile says he will hit Iran harder if they don’t admit he won the war. He also wants them to say they think he’s handsome.

It's been a long day foraging for likes on bluesky .com.app

swaghetti with meme balls and garlic dread

P O O P

99 luftballoons? In this economy?

Pussy fart so big and loud that they call her Queef Latifah

🎵 Queef a little queef of me🎵

jizz not, lest ye be jizzed

They used to make real soundtracks for a movie

Gonna become a nomad

Butt sex? How do butts have sex with each other?

It wasn't a fart. It was a parshitulate

3D printing with my microplastic jizz

got a blood test, turns out I'm practically full of the stuff doctor said it's really gross & spooky in there, almost thought they saw a skeleton

I am using BlueSky even though I'm not Canadian. Is that even allowed?

They used to make real soundtracks for a movie

They used to make real soundtracks for a movie

Learning deadly fighting secrets in the alley

We need less of this kind of guy in the world

They're trying to make pooping illegal.

Sun Tzu: What the fuck is this bullshit?

Americans, I know you’ve been told to exercise increased caution abroad, but I think you’ll be safe doing what you’ve always done, slapping a maple leaf on your backpack and saying you’re Canadian, it doesn’t work for assholes or maga folk but who cares.

Mr. President sir, the people want you to die.

It's legal to kill your neighbors if they're annoying, right?

How do you incite a civil war without saying you're inciting a civil war? Continuously call half your citizens the enemy.

Dialing up my insanity to 11

every party with the kool aid man is a wet t-shirt party

Everyone remembers "The Enemy Within" as the episode where Kirk is split in two and does battle with himself, but it's important that it equally be remembered as the episode where a bunch of characters take turns holding up a dog dressed like an alien while delivering tons of dialogue.

was at the bog hag neighbors for sunday supper,tho it was lovely, it’s not as fun eating at the table with them as it is stealing their food in the middle of the nite

Today wasn't bad. I'm kinda glad that I didn't commit suicide after breakfast like I had originally planned

I should never have to see Josh Brolin's face against my will

Hey, y’all remember when fascism was considered really bad? That timeline was cool.

stayedw in hotel last nite an didnt even get to finish whole bible

*wakes up "Oh. I guess we're still doing this."

"Hope for the future" Nah, I'm not into setting myself up for failure.

YouTube creators holding up those tiny little microphones in their fingers instead of clipping them to their shirts like they were designed for is gonna push me right over the edge. In case you were wondering the stupid shit that bugs me for no really good reason.

I don't want gen AI in my browser I don't want gen AI in my pc I don't want gen AI in my art I don't want gen AI in my games I don't want gen AI in my music I don't want gen AI in my movies I don't want gen AI in my books I don't want gen AI in my cart I don't want gen AI in my life

As an old dude, I already hated everything. But now, I REALLY hate everything.

Fine, Mom! I'll put on a bra to take you out to lunch.

This shit wouldn't be happening if Gizmo Duck was still around.

The government doesn't want you to know about this

There is a certain freedom in being muted and blocked by everyone. I can post things like, "skibble pibble" and no one sees it, which means I don't have to explain what it means.

I'd love to be emotionally stable, but unfortunately, I have a personality

🎵 If you're MAGA and you know it, kill yourself. If you're MAGA and you know it, kill yourself. If you're MAGA and you know it, then your IQ will surely show it. If you're MAGA and you know it, kill yourself🎵

Why is it called the Trump Administration and not American Horror Story