Change a letter, make a singer less appealing: Hate Bush

Are you there, Margaret? It's me, god. WHAT IN THE HOLY FUCK IS GOING ON DOWN THERE?

no, i haven't gotten high in over 27 years, why do you ask

Away with them to prison

I mean...she lives the gimmick.

If I have to step on people to get ahead, I’m not going anywhere.

I remember one time my wife got mad at me for accidentally stepping on a spider so I said 'calm down PETA Parker' lol, and you guys, that did not help. At all.

I can flow just witness this sick rhyme listen up cause I’m here to say I love cheerios in a major way

i can never quite tell when they’re ripe

Hahaha. This was meant as a reply to someone else's skeet. I am really getting OLD 😂 🫣

Remember when I thought I was funny? Boy, was that a weird week

My thoughts will now cost you a nickel www.cnn.com/2025/11/12/b...

Can they be traded in for new ones?

My guardian angel tries to lure me into traffic.

I don't want to make the most of my day, I want to sleep comfortably in many different positions

it’s just me and my bag of delusions against the world

I love all of you because people IRL rarely get my jokes And you sometimes do

I’m a big fan of air conditioners.

sitting on my thumbs until they go numb so it feels like someone else is reposting my skeets

this may be a controversial take but i don’t think it’s a good idea to have so many delusional people in power

Okay well first, there are thermo's, and sometimes they're super dynamic. But usually they're a bunch of basic bitches.

I just wanna be rich enough to build a house with a quicksand moat around it

Break on through to the other side.* *Me trying to completely remove the safety seal on this jar of Skippy peanut butter in one clean pull.

"Even funny jokes aren't funny right now"? So jokes should be banned until morale improves? 😂

some girls are sugar and spice and everything nice, i'm nonsense and shenanigans and whatever was in Kurt Cobain's cardigans

No sugar Jolly Ranchers taste like the alternative sweetener in them is arsenic.

go.bsky.app/PtgTvXJ please, follow these wonderful artists. Your tl will be better for it

Excuse me, you seem to be lost. This is Shit Posting Bluesky. You seem to have wandered in from Sanctimonious Bluesky.

my fav thing about women is when they’re like I’m a delicate flower then go shower in lava

Holy shit I wrote a comic Holy shit I wrote a comic Holy shit I wrote a comic

AVAILABLE FOR PURCHASE ON MY WEBSITE OR WHATEVER I DONT EVEN CARE DEEPLY AT ALL

Trying to get ahead of that Joyce Carol Oates dunk

It's the Duck one.

We should start a dazed and confused club here in the blue skies of bluesky

Just butting in here to say that the ghost in my apartment is clearly a millennial. It doesn't rattle chains, it just leaves all the cabinet doors slightly ajar.

That was fun because you know no cheating! Wordle puzzle created by FrodosMom 3/6 🟩⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛ 🟩⬛🟩⬛⬛🟨 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 www.nytimes.com/games/create...

Anyone else getting a little bit tired of Timotay Shalomay? Don't even bother listing his movies. Just list the films he isn't in. He's in all the others.

JFC. Who turned the Batshit Signal on?

Just butting in here to say y'all have been faltering on those butthole jokes lately

I have a junk food problem. I don't have any . . .

Sometimes I get jealous of people who are retiring, then I remember they’re nearing the end of their natural lifespan and I get even more jealous.

This skeet is what I imagine it's like to be a ghost, desperately trying to communicate with the living, but the living just keep saying, "Did you feel a draft?"

well would you look at that, you managed to find my last nerve

One winning scratch off and I'm going to act like I don't know any of you.

This is how the prophecy said it would end

how many jokes do i need to post before the world is fixed

He's not a very naughty boy. He's the messiah.

Sometimes I text random numbers with pictures of old grey hamburger meat and ask, "is this still ok to eat?"