me and my friends getting together to try out a ouija board but it spells out 'orc pussy' over and over again until we all just collectively agree not to believe in the supernatural anymore

kitty

Didn't read the thread, but it sounds like someone is doing it wrong.

I bet today, for a fraction of a second, you could get someone to believe they were being raptured by giving them a sneak atomic wedgie.

Hey a thing I really don’t want to get lost here is that while Tylenol doesn’t cause autism, IT’S FINE TO BE AUTISTIC. Let’s not grant them the premise that autism should be eradicated in our way to correct the science, okay? Okay.

Tylenol doesn't cause autism, but do you know what does cause brain damage in an infant? Extended high fevers.

You leave your clothes behind when you get raptured, so clean your butthole real good in case the sinners see it while you're floating to heaven

lead singer: ARE YOU READY TO ROCK???? me in the pit trying to clean the front of my glasses w my tshirt: JUST A SEC, BUD

Autism is not a fucking disease.

Autism cant be "cured". There's no "real" person autism is hiding. You can't separate the autism from a person. Neurodiversity is a good thing. Celebrate, support, and love autistic folk. Don't try and "fix" them.

One of my favorite fun facts is why the TMNT are named after artists (it’s because the type of turtle they are is a “painted turtle”). I told my nephew about this and he immediately replied that there should be a Bob Ross turtle. So rather than explain the renaissance movement to him, I-

You can mentally or vocally replace the word "soul" in any song with "hole", it's not a crime yet.

That they're going after "tylenol" because the leader of the free world can't pronounce acetaminophen is the least surprising thing about all this.

Amassing nutrients and calories for the winter. Not hibernating or anything, I just think eating stuff is cool.

I spent a couple weeks without knowing there was a "better ending" for Hollow Knight. It was several months for Sea of Stars. In both cases I was thrilled there was more to play. If I'm asking you if you know about alternate endings, I'm not accusing you of "not really beating the game".

Also, don't be a "I'm taking Tylenol to own the president" guy. That's just the other side of the ivermectin coin. There's more than one way to be a dumbass.

Everyone agrees snobbery in any form is an unpleasant trait, but it's a tough thing to let go of because it makes you feel exceptional. It's just another form of gatekeeping meant to exclude. There's already way too many of those. Let people enjoy things.

I went through a really obnoxious "you didn't REALLY beat the game unless you..." phase where I talked shit about people who used cheat codes and accessibility options, and I hate that about myself. Enjoy your games however you like! They're there for your entertainment, you've got nothing to prove

Monsters.

Sorry, infant baby child with a 105° fever, president dipshit says you have to tough it out.

The first person to see me out with my autistic kid and mentions Tylenol to me, even in a good intentioned way, is getting their tires slashed.

Need a new streaming service for all of that boycott money? How about investing in @dropout.tv, a progressive comedy platform that doesn't bend the knee to fascism! Not sold? Check out the trailer for @makesomenoiseshow.bsky.social season 4! www.slashfilm.com/1975685/amer...

Tylenol doesn't cause autism, but do you know what does cause brain damage in an infant? Extended high fevers.

The pelican opens its beak to yawn and you catch a brief glimpse of me crouched inside, playing an old GameBoy. I make eye contact with you as I reach up, annoyed, to shut the beak again like a trash can lid.

I have zero fucking sense of humor about this rfk shit. besides the obviously gross misreprestation/othering/etc of autistic people it's catastrophic from any sound scientific POV. any doctor who consults governmental guidelines for anything at all under this admin is guilty of malpractice

Okay now fire Jimmy Kimmel for the right reasons

Chell (Portal)

RFK ANNOUNCES AUTISM NOW LINKED TO Leaving the fridge door open Seedless/“Mutant” watermelon Babies conceived in the daylight hours when God’s awake Squeezable yogurt tech for kids Criticizing the regime Letting a bird’s shadow touch you A rogue lab in Senegal All crypto except RFKoin, now live!!!

Can I lick your yogurt lid?

A mediocre comedian getting his job back is pretty bleak as glimmers of hope go, but I guess we're not in a position to be choosy yet.

I'm either getting worse at typing or my phone has about 10 billion misspelled words in its autocorrect librarby

Candy hack: Put a Charleston Chew in your freezer for a cool and crumbly treat Supervillain hack: Put Charleston in a freezer until $1 billion is deposited into your offshore account

Decided to check in on my stepmother's facebook page for the first time in a while and was immediately reminded why I don't Do That.

Me: Is... is this a date? Parole officer: ...

neurodiversity is Good Actually. just want to say that

One of those lovely videos where a dementia patient sits at a piano and suddenly recalls how to play, but it's me at 87, and my family is tearing up when they put an old phone in my hand and I post "dick look like an elf after a Keebler industrial accident"

Starting to think the Children of the Corn kids have a lot of good ideas about when adults stop being useful.

this is the GOAT tumblr post and always will be

You leave your clothes behind when you get raptured, so clean your butthole real good in case the sinners see it while you're floating to heaven

If you've been enjoying Silksong, put this game on your wishlists immediately, I said that Nine Sols stood toe-to-toe with Hollow Knight and I am not exaggerating.

A certain subset of anime fans get a little touchy when you point out how young the female characters look.

Dating someone my age without zoomer kids means having to explain out loud what I meant when I texted "it's honk shoo hours"

Tell me truly, I implore! Is there anything at this store From foreign lands Or within these shores That e’er again I might afford? Quoth the Raven “Nevermore.”

Each of us is only a moment of courage and a few millimeters of face skin away from having the raddest Halloween costume.

Amassing nutrients and calories for the winter. Not hibernating or anything, I just think eating stuff is cool.

Scientist: You can eat one marshmallow now, or-- Me: *chewing noisily* Scientist: ... Me: ... Scientist: *takes notes* Me (mouth full): Did I win?