2026 is going to be the year I start going to the wrasslin' again

it's always nicolás maduro and never james corden.

apparently two TERFs turned up with placards to stand in the queer bit of town and lasted exactly as long as it took for someone to throw beans at them 🤗

trump's actions in venezuela were a distraction from my 9th tranniversary

seen three close family members go through various stages of dementia, so there's some comfort knowing the previous two US presidents are going to encounter a living hell as they're haunted by confusing and terrifying paranoid reflections of their own craven actions🙏

I have automated my cat tormenting 🙏

jelemby crobryn must apologise for what is happening in venezuela

guess which dipshit ran a marathon with a grade 2 quad tear 👈

stop trying to make "future historians" happen. you can just say you've passed any hope of meaningful justice in this world onto an imagined secular afterlife. that's fine.

you can just do what you want to a head of state now? that's interesting

If you think of AI as a technology for powerful people and institutions to remove accountability for their actions, then it starts to make a lot more sense.

Folks, she brought a whole plate of spaghetti to the broadcast center to do her headshot. She then houses that spaghetti. Mattia sips on an espresso during his. Truly the heroes we need during these times.

"you shouldn't overline your lips" blah blah blah, you shouldn't wear a spiritual gilet.

i brought sexy back, but then they changed what sexy was. it'll happy to you.

this year I'm going to do more of what I love doing: going on bluesky to complain about bluesky

if the vet is to be believed then ted is around 20 years old now. look at him though 🥲 what a perfect old dude.

heard your boyfriend is wearing his new gilet today.

a determined workers movement could stop jools holland ever playing boogie woogie piano again. comrade smith has shown us the way. 2026 goals.

Head Home For The Night (rerun)

i’d die for her

telling people at the NYE party about nine year old tweets they haven't heard of. happy new year. specifically:

this year summed up~

did anyone i know have a good 2025? i am putting that big steaming shit of a year in a bag, placing it on the doorstep of 2026, setting it on fire and running away.

Coop was like hunger games. Be vigilant, don't let you guard down for a minute, and don't be afraid to attack first

I've waited 3 years to make this post

i'm sorry but a daytime rave hosted by vicky mclure and the singer from reverend and the makers is some alan partridge tv show idea shit. no thank you.

Today is the last day that you can repost this image

miss when people used to just say things online. now i have to pay £35 a year to have a lengthy weekly thought injected directly into my head or i move to colorado, befriend you, then at an appropriate point ask you if you really think the term bisexual is problematic. sucks.

no one, everyone on bluesky is a bottom

"wow, have you had so many fascinating injuries happen to you? can you show me your scars?"

hello i am going to pay someone to dye my virgin brown hair midnight black blue. please give me your opinions on my proposed actions.

posted a cute video of my cat chewing tinsel and a vet friend replied "Noooo linear foreign body". sounds bad. I guess Christmas is over for you Frank.

🎵i'm a boaster, I'm a roaster I'm a midnight poster, I use my keyboard like a gun🎵

All right, I killed your boss.

One of the best to ever do it

oh man, an og twitter poster. this sucks. see you in posting valhalla brother 🙏

This is amazing. Genuinely!

me when a random person kills me: i'm fuming, i'm livid, was this even discussed at committee stage? me when an *institution* kills me: that's some good liberal democracy right there baby.

having to do my insanely racist mandatory counter terrorism training for work. introduced by kay burley of sky news and the head of MI5. featuring 100s of brown guys sneaking around with big rucksacks and one white guy thrown in so they can say ah we're not racist actually look at that guy.

suddenly realising that every voice note I leave has the zizek stiff in it. I don't even do a single cocaine, not one. unfair. who will rid me of my winter post nasal drip?

*to the tune of fox in the snow by belle and sebastian* cat in the sink, what do you think

the near endless array of recorded human music to choose from and my brain decides that the second i wake up it will play me stripper vicar by mansun on a loop. how can one begin to find contentment in a world like this?

I lent former CNN anchor Julia Chatterley my ruler in a french class sometime in the mid 90s. Here's some of her finest work www.instagram.com/reel/DBeZt0X...

went past the BBC offices in Nottingham and someone has spray painted "complicit" on them. could unfortunately apply to one of about 3000 things. need to be more specific lxds.

thought I looked like shit most of last year tbh, but here's a photo i like. ofc it has a cat in the background but we play the hand were dealt.